Evaluations
by KF fan
Summary: If someone did psychological evaluations of the Teen Titans, what would they say? How would it ever come up?
1. Transmittal letter

June 12, 2008

City Council of Jump City

City Hall

Jump City, CA 94102

Re:The teen metahumans known as the "Teen Titans"

Dear Councilors:

Pursuant to the City Council's vote at its session of 26 April 2008 (Council Order #08-1462) this office, over a period of five weeks, has conducted the ordered psychological evaluations of the Teen Titans. Enclosed are the executive summaries of my evaluations of each of the team members.

These evaluations were conducted in response to the unfortunate incident involving a four year old girl and the Titan known as "Cyborg" at the Jump City Galleria on 19 April 2008. Without delving into the conflicting accounts of that incident, I will simply note that it was the basis for the Council's decision to subsequently order full psychological evaluations of the Teen Titans in accordance with the recommendation of the Jump City Police Department's metahuman control officer, Captain Margaret Doyle.

As you will recall, because of the unique nature of the subjects, the Council agreed, after lengthy negotiations with the Teen Titans' representative, Robin, to extraordinary measures to protect the identities of the Teen Titans and their families and associates.

Per that agreement, my sessions with the Teen Titans took place only in one room of Titans Tower.

Per that agreement, the full recordings and transcripts of those sessions are to remain at Titans Tower and may only be released to the Mayor, Council, or general public upon written assent of all contemporary members of the Teen Titans.

Per that agreement, every single name, even those of the Titans themselves, has been redacted from the executive and individual summaries. In the case of the Titans own names, Subject #, has been substituted for that of each member. In the case of any family members or other associates, I have reviewed the summaries with the Teen Titans' representative, Robin, and in each case agreed to a descriptor, such as "family member", "associate hero" or other term to retain meaning in the narrative without giving any clue to actual identities.

Subsequent to that agreement, but before any actual sessions with the Teen Titans, I was officially hired, at the insistence of the Teen Titans' representative, Robin, by each of the Teen Titans and paid the sum of one dollar by each. That association thereby protects communications between us with the doctor-client privilege.

This was not foreseen at the time of the agreement. As you may recall, this was in response to a news report by Lois Lane of the Daily Planet that Captain Doyle intended to subpoena the transcripts immediately upon the completion of my sessions with the team members and, through legal process, make them public.

I will not sumarize my findings here. This is only a transmittal letter. The executive summary and individual summaries that follow present my evaluations in much greater detail than would do them justice here and I will not simply repeat them in this space.

I will be more than willing to meet with the Council at its convenience, but I must state that doctor client privilege will greatly restrict what information I will be able to add beyond that in the enclosed summaries.

Sincerely,

David Silberman, M.D.


	2. A session with Jinx

Author's note: Jinx is Subject#7, KF is #6, Robin is #1. The others, somewhat arbitrarily, are Cyborg is #2, Beast Boy is #3, Raven is #4 and Starfire is #5. Sorry for any confusion, but, as the previous chapter, the transmittal letter from the psychiatrist, says, Robin wanted all names removed.

3 May 2008

Transcript of first evaluation session with Subject #7

_(notes in italics added by David Silberman, M.D. all names have been deleted in favor of subject #'s or general desciptions per the City's agreement with the Teen Titans.)_

_(Titans Tower was an inspiring sight on this, my first visit. I think we in the general public don't quite appreciate the size of it because it's a half mile away in the middle of the bay. The boat to the island in the middle of the bay left me at the dock, from where I walked up stone steps and walkway to the main entrance, briefcase in hand. I wondered, momentarily, if there was a particular way that I should hold my briefcase to be absolutely sure not to seem like some villain from the Brotherhood of Evil or the HIVE in disguise. But I dismissed these thoughts as paranoia and rang the buzzer. The voice of, I believe, (Subject #1), answered in the same all business fashion I had come to expect from our negotiations. A few moments later, I could see (Subject #2) and (Subject #3) engaged in horseplay inside the building. The much larger Subject #2 mostly having an easy time of it, lifting slender (Subject #3) off the ground at will. (Subject #3) got himself free, responded to a prompt on his communicator and came to the door and let me in. I had seen (Subject #3) on television but it was still striking to see a young man who was a rich, dark green. _

_With minimal conversation, he led me up to the 14th floor. Both he and (Subject #2) regarded me like an enemy. I was barely out of the elevator and into the hallway and looking around at the giant common room, kitchen and communications center before (Subject #1) instructed the other team members that I was to be brought to a backup communications center room on the 6th floor. A red and yellow blur came straight at me and (Subject #6) seemed to materialize out of thin air in front of me. He said he would handle it and shepherded me into the elevator and then to the correct room on the 6th floor. He also regarded me very warily. He was a very striking presence seen for the first time with his looks and orange hair and tight red and yellow suit. He told me that this whole thing was ridiculous and that (Subject #2) would never hurt anyone. He said it was incredible to him that he and his teammates were regarded with suspicion by anyone in Jump City. I told him I was just doing my job. He led me into a good sized room furnished in italian leather furniture and cherry wood side tables but open in the middle with one small window looking out to the open ocean. I commented, innocently, about how tight his uniform looked. He seemed to take this as an insult and said nothing. He proceded to simply stare at me for a minute till his wife, (Subject #7), the first interviewee, appeared in the hallway. They shared a kiss and I could hear him tell her "Just be yourself." _

_(Subject #7) is a beautiful young woman with an exotic appearance, perhaps five foot eight and 120 pounds with very light gray skin, pink hair and pink cat's eyes. Her attire was a combination of revealing and prudish, mixing a very short hem length, lace and a plunging neckline with full arm and leg length under layers. If the others regarded me warily, she was positively hostile but not with any air of insecurity at all. She seemed very sure of herself at all times.)_

DS: This session takes place at 2 PM on May third 2008, Doctor David Silberman and . . .

#7: (Subject #7)

_(she produced a dollar bill from the cleavage of her black lace top and handed it to me)_

#7: I've never been so sure in my life that I was overpaying for something. But (Subject #1) says we have to make this official. So, there.

DS: Um, thank you.

#7: Okay, let's get this fraud started.

DS: Um, why are you so hostile? I'm working with (Subject #1) and the rest of you on this to protect you from Captain Doyle.

#7: Yeah, you're practically part of the team.

DS: Well, I'm here to help.

#7: Oh please. What a load of shit! You're here because a stupid little girl whom (Subject#2) was saving from crashing debris at the downtown mall got confused about all his grunting effort to protect her from, oh, ten tons of falling concrete walkway. And you're here because the stupid little girl is the niece of a City Councilor, which explains the stupid part, and the resulting hysteria when her racist parents couldn't just tell her she was wrong to think the big black guy was trying to hurt her and to get over her precious little nightmares and quit spouting bullshit to the other little kids at daycare.

DS: That's . . one interpretation of events-

#7: The true one. Why else are you here?

DS: Well, according to the City, I'm here to determine if any of you are dangers to yourselves or anyone else.

_(crackling sounds at this point on the recording were the result of (Subject #7) first creating a pink laser projection from one fingertip that she waved inches in front of my face, then seeming to toss a crackling ball of pink energy back and forth from her one hand to the other before making it disappear in a blinding flash of light)_

#7: Do you think I'm a danger to myself or anyone else?

DS: Why do you try to antagonize me like that?

#7: Why not?

DS: Well, you know, some subjects try and show me their best face.

#7: What does it really matter? Anybody can make you guys buy almost any line of crap if they put it across artfully enough. At the Academy-

DS: the, uh, let me see here in the file, the . . uh, HIVE Academy?

#7: Yes. The HIVE Academy. We had a class there on duping you shrinks. A hundred fifty page manual with examples on how to fake it all, and more importantly than that, what to fake. Haha! There was-haha-there was one early graduate of the Academy who got caught and was facing some hard time. But they said that first they were going to have him examined by doctor Iggityblot or whoever the hell it was. So in his allowed time at a computer, he went online and searched for the name Iggityblot and found out what disorder the guy had written about. By the time Iggityblot came to talk to him he'd turned himself into the most amazing case of that same disorder and Iggityblot was excited as hell to tell the court that this guy should go to a hospital and not jail. And in the hospital he cracked Iggityblot on the head and escaped easily.

DS: Well, I mean, do you have any proof of that?

#7: He spoke to the class.

DS: Oh.

#7: And then there was that moron, David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam killer, the village freaking idiot who made up a story that he heard god talking to him through his dog and some shrink like you totally bought it.

DS: That was not a uh, not a proud moment in the history of the profession. But you . . you seem very emotional about this. Did you have a bad experience, yourself, with a psychiatrist?

_(at this point, Subject #7's eyes briefly glowed bright pink)_

DS: What was . . ?!

#7: You might say that. Believe it or not I went to a regular school for a while. The teasing and bullshit were non-stop right from the beginning. But, luckily for me, our school had a psychiatrist. They brought me in to see her and she told me right away. It was all my fault. They didn't discipline a single kid. They wanted me to color my hair and stuff. But my mama said she wanted me to feel celebrated for being just the way I was. The school shrink complained that we had to meet her half way. My mama asked what was coming from the other direction. What else was going to be done to make sure school wasn't hell for me? Annnnnnnnnnd the shrink couldn't come up with anything. Nothing. There was no second part of the plan. All the other kids could still be assholes. I was just supposed to conform and make myself a little smaller target.

DS: I'm sorry. You . . had a tough childhood, didn't you?

#7: Oh no. It just drove me to a life of crime and wanting to say fuck you to the entire society that put me down. No. Not tough.

DS: . . . Does your husband celebrate you for just the way you are?

#7: . . . Haha. Gods, doc. That was a clever switchback. You actually listened a bit and used something I said a few seconds earlier as a jumping off point after you didn't like the segues available from the last thing I said. Pretty good. I might have to break a sweat to verbally kick your ass. And, for the record, yes.

DS: Do you love him?

#7: Of course I love him. He's . . . he's a great guy. Leave it at that.

DS: Why marry at such a young age?

#7: Um, hello . . . . I just said . . . . and because it feels right. He feels right. On top of that, it had an almost politically incorrect appeal to it. Don't just shack up with him. Go all the way. He wanted to, anyway. He's that way, the hero sort, without the obnoxious edge to it. And it was so much the wrong thing, the white trash thing to do. It appealed to me.

DS: You like doing things that will piss off certain people?

#7: Well, marrying (Subject #6) didn't piss anyone off. Oh, maybe some fangirls who dreamed about marrying him and getting their hands on his speedster ass. But the same people who didn't want me to be part of their phony conception of society are probably aghast at the idea of marrying at our age. So, yeah, I won't deny that there's some ancillary benefit there.

DS: And maybe some of them didn't like you claiming one of their heroes?

#7: Oh, I know they didn't. A lot of people didn't. (Subject #6) was a squeaky clean golden boy. His suit's a bit too tight but the whole line of succession thing, (Subject #6) following (his Justice League mentor) totally appealed to the people who don't like me. Kind of smacks of inheritance, the super powers staying with the . . "right" people just like they think the money should stay with the . . "right" people.

DS: Some might have called your actions opportunistic.

#7: Don't hide behind indeterminate subjects. Call me opportunistic if you want to.

DS: Okay, you're opportunistic. You were fine with evil. Then a very attractive boy offers you another option and you read the big picture tea leaves just right and switch to the good side just before the Titans smash the Brotherhood of Evil in Paris.

#7: Uh, you do know that I helped do the smashing? I was part of that fight not just a beneficiary of it.

DS: Yes, you were.

#7: And, anyway, how would being morally opportunistic separate me from 99 percent of the population? Do you really think that John Q. Idiot walking down the street does good, on those occasions when he does so, out of a deep understanding of ethical dilemmas? Do you think blond girls giggling at the mall just thought of unusual wrinkles in Kant's categorical imperative or would they be more attuned to Mill's pragmatism or maybe Rand's rational self interest?

DS: If you know those names then-

#7: I know more than the names. But, do you think the average person knows much more than a fear of punishment at being caught doing wrong?

DS: That's a pretty pessimistic view of people.

#7: Maybe it is. But you know who today's greatest pessimists are?

DS: Who?

#7: Yesterday's idealists.

DS: Were you an idealist yesterday?

#7: Well, I didn't expect people to be morons and assholes. Mama taught me all the fairy tales and happily ever afters any other little girl's taught. Then I learned how horrible people could be.

DS: Did that justify being on the side of evil?

#7: At the time, it felt like that. I mean, how fricking high minded is a 10 year old girl supposed to be, fer chrissakes? If no one on one side seems to want to let me be part of the game and the other side likes and rewards me, was I so crazy?

DS: I suppose the positive and negative reinforcement you were experiencing would seem to lead you in the direction you went. So, what changed? Kid Flash?

#7: Ugh! Simplify! Simplify! Simplify! Everyone wants to simplify everything. Gods! I love him. I told you that. But it was not just him, okay?! That's gossip magazine thinking. The latest Flinx pictures inside!! The fastest good boy and the bad girl who went good for him, Page 32! Speedster and Sorceress make a little magic. See Page Six!! No!! It's not that simple unless you're a simpleton. Being on the evil side meant I wasn't experiencing the prosaic stupidities and prejudices of average people.

DS: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

#7: Oh please. Wrong aphorism. I didn't grow more fond of them but maybe my anger at how they acted toward me diminished when I wasn't constantly exposed to them. And I saw some of the people on the evil side, some really sick sadistic fucks. There wasn't greater sophistication or more discriminating taste in them or a truer morality. There wasn't Nietzsche's Zarathustra there. There was just a joy in hurting people.

DS: You didn't want to hurt people?

#7: No. I didn't concern myself with 'em at all. I conceptualized people, put labels on 'em and thought of 'em as parts of categories and didn't look too closely at any individual ones so that I could feel fine after robbing 'em.

DS: So, maybe you're a nice person after all?

#7: Hmmph. No. The "nice" people are the ones who get walked on or crapped on and who just take it and move on. I fought back. Me? Nice?! Hahahaha!

DS: Are the other Titans nice? Is (subject #6) nice?

_(Subject #7 pauses a long time)_

#7: Nice is too dessicated an adjective to bother applying to individual, complex people. Only an impoverished vocabulary requires the use of the word 'nice'.

DS: What word would you choose instead?

#7: Well, even just . . "good" has more force to it than frigging "nice". Yes. All the Titans are good. (Subject #6) is good.

DS: And now that you're on the side of good, do the, what did you call them, the . . . prosaic stupidities of average people make you mad?

#7: I still have a temper if that's what you're getting at. I still have occasional . . . anger management issues. Fine. I admit that. But I don't hurt people. I help them, along with teammates. Even though they only say 'thank you' half the time and treat us like circus freaks, we help them. We don't hurt anyone. I don't hurt anyone. You've got records. Have I hurt anyone, anyone at all since I became a Titan? Hmm?

DS: I have no record of your hurting anyone since that time.

#7: Have I hurt myself?

_(Subject #7 held her arms out so that her bare, unmarked wrists were visible to me.)_

DS: . . . No. I see no evidence of that.

#7: So, we're done. Right?

DS: No, no. Not so fast. Part of what I'm supposed to do in an evaluation like this is determine, as well as I can, if you're liable to be a danger in the future. Let's talk a little while more so I can form a more complete picture of your mindset.

#7: Oh . . . yay . . .

DS: You said, that the people you help treat you like freaks. How does that make you feel?

#7: How should it make me feel?! It makes me feel like a freak. Duh. Every once in a while I give in to the stupid urge to be seen as normal. I know it can't happen. But I'd like to not deal with shit from the general public and so, a few pleasant encounters and I start thinking that maybe I'll actually accomplish the sisyphean task of moving in the public's conception to being a reassuring presence. And then some asshole we save will gawk at me and say that I look unhealthy or scary or unchristian or some ignorant shit like that.

DS: Do you think the public attitude toward you is improving at all?

#7: It's impossible to say. What I experience is a small sample of an ocean of individual attitudes. Maybe people seem ever so slightly better but there's no way to really measure such things. I mostly try to ignore it. And mostly I'm successful. If I'm at a museum with (Subject #6), I look at the paintings or the sculptures and talk with him. I don't much notice little girls whispering to each other. If I'm in a club with him, we talk and dance and if someone with too many drinks in her mouths off I probably don't hear it anyway. And if I'm with the entire team, I'm just one of seven freaks. Oh, maybe six. It's probably seldom that (Subject #1) gets lumped in as one.

DS: So, you think you're adjusted to the situation?

#7: Adjusted. Resigned. Whatever you want to call it.

DS: Back when you were an idealist, did you believe that you would find acceptance?

#7: No, I . . . well . . . it was more like I didn't realize I'd be totally rejected and harassed and hated. Our trailer was out on the edge of town with all these amazing fields around us. Gods! If-if you'd seen me as a little girl you'd have thought I was going to grow up to be (Subject #5). I was so completely girly girl. I'd go skipping through these fields running after butterflies and picking out the most beautiful flowers that I found, talking to imaginary friends and living fairy tale adventures in my mind. Of course the flowers wilted in short order but Mama just told me that that's what always happened with flowers. She was so . . . protective in a certain way . . .  
_(There was a very long pause as Subject #7 seemed to consider something in her mind for a minute or so)_

I've often wondered, doc, whether that was the best thing that she could do for me or the worst. What do you think?

DS: Um, I'm not sure.

#7: Go on. Hazard a guess. You're gonna take guesses about all of us for the morons at the City Council. What do you think? Was it good for me that my mother sort of isolated me and extended the period of my childhood when I filled my head with thoughts of fairy tales and what was pretty in the world around me? Or should she have gotten me used to being a pariah as soon as possible?

DS: I don't know that I could really guess which was the best choice. I-

#7: Gods. What a frigging coward you are. Just give me a snap opinion.

DS: Okay. I . . . I guess I would have supported acclimating you to how things were as soon as possible.

#7: Ha! You maroon. It was a trick question. Where'd you get your diploma, off the back of a book of matches or online or something? Mama did the right thing. It was gonna be horrible no matter what once I encountered other kids. She let me grow up nurturing my own little reveries as long as she could. I can still remember the look on her face after I came home from my first day of school. I didn't even have to tell her. She could imagine it all, the kids in a circle around me, shouting and throwing things. I cried, like, one tear and that made Mama cry about a hundred. That's why, even though she left me, I didn't feel hate toward her.

DS: Your mother left you?

#7: Had to leave me with another relative when I was eight. She was getting sicker and sicker and my bad luck powers were destroying everything we owned.

DS: How did that make you feel?

_(There was a long pause as Subject #7 raised one eyebrow in an expression that might be categorized as contemptuous and refused to respond)_

DS: How did that-

#7: I heard you. Aren't there some blanks so obvious that even psychiatrists can fill them in?

DS: You don't have to get snippy.

#7: Just don't be so ridiculous.

DS: What about your father?

#7: Same as my mother. He left a year or so before she did. Couldn't take it.

DS: And then you went to live with a relative. You didn't stay around either.

#7: Um, no. I didn't wait for the villagers with torches to march to my family's double wide and set it ablaze. Grrrr. Fire bad. Yadda yadda yadda

DS: Huh?

#7: Metaphor! Metaphor fer chrissakes. They never came anywhere near our little double wide castle Frankenstein.

DS: Have you ever seen them again, your mother and father?

#7: Yeah. I've seen both of them. I don't do much more than talk every month or so with my father. (Subject #6) found him for me. And I see Mama all the time. He found her too. He's good at leg work.

DS: How's your relationship with her?

#7: Very good now. What could she do? I wasn't lucky enough to only get my powers when I was 11 years old, like Speedster. That would've been so much better. But things are mended. And she just loves him for helping get me over to this side.

DS: Alright, but, to backtrack, your parents left and you were dropped off at a relative's and life went further downhill and you started into a life of crime. Let's see . . . the file says . . . you were suspected in numerous robberies of ATM's that mysteriously self-destructed. Is that right?

#7: Yes. I was . . suspected of that.

DS: . . . and shortly after that and some other "suspected" crimes, you were recruited by the HIVE Academy. Is that right.

#7: Without acknowledging any particular event, yeah, that seems about right.

DS: What was that like?

#7: I told you already. It was a school, a school of a different sort but I found out that a whole lot of the people on the evil side of things were sick fucks.

DS: How different of a school was it?

#7: Well, they taught crime. They taught you how to commit small crimes and to engineer huge heists. They taught you everything about it. Casing places. Fencing things afterward. How to utilize your teammates. Fending off rival criminals. Faking the way you robbed places to make the idiot police suspect those rival criminals. Keeping off the radar of the goody goodies. Everything.

DS: Did you excel there? Did you have a specialty?

#7: Yeah. I was a top student. Besides my powers, I was an analyzer. That's why I was the leader of the HIVE Five after the group of us left the Academy.

DS: What's an analyzer?

#7: Hmmmm. How to explain it. Have you-have you ever seen that movie, Three Days of the Condor?

DS: The guy who read books for the CIA and everyone else in his office is killed while he's out getting lunch?

#7: That's it. He's supposed to read mysteries and thrillers and detective novels for schemes and tricks and see if they match up with anything the CIA's actually doing. Well, that was kind of my extracurricular thing at the Academy. Analyzing. I used to read all these books and try to find workable schemes and tricks in them. So, after we left the Academy who do you think was in charge of trying to come up with heists we could pull off?

DS: You.

#7: Right up until (Subject #6) came along. (Subject #1) kind of does the same thing here. (Subject #2), too. The idea of him hurting anyone and maybe being dangerous is so stupid it defies description. When I was with the HIVE, we used to have something we called the "ace", the ace in the hole. When we got in trouble in a fight with the Titans we'd shout, "Play the ace!" or just "Ace!". You know what that was?

DS: No.

#7: It was creating a situation that endangered spectators or bystanders. Because we knew, with total metaphysical certainty that the Titans would always stop and protect the gawkers by the side of the road. That's what Cyborg was doing and now you idiots are mad at him.

DS: Do you have to call everyone idiots?

#7: Do you want me to be honest or not? Gods! You bring me in here first of everybody-

DS: That was chosen by lot. Your representative wrote down six different sequences and put them into a hat. I picked out "Reverse order of joining the Titans". So you're first and your husband is second.

#7: Hmmph. That reminds me. The idea of anyone worrying about (Subject #6) being a danger to anyone. Ha! That's too much. If you can't figure out that you're wasting your time 30 seconds into your session with him . . . That's how whacked out this Captain Doyle whose bidding you're doing is. She hates metahumans, period. They told me, afterward, that at our wedding, she was trying to take pictures of who showed up, as though she was the FBI outside of a Corleone family wedding or something. You should have told them this assignment was ridiculous.

DS: I have a job to do. So, why don't you tell me about a typical day for you is like?

#7: There is no typical day. We get about a call a day, not all fighting supervillains. We help the fire department save people from burning buildings, and help the police stop normal crimes, too. But, hmm, typical day? Okay. I wake up when I feel like it, untangle myself from orange hair, get all tangled up in orange hair, go down and do a training exercise, have a late breakfast, read something or go to a museum. Late mornings in museums are wonderful. You can stand there alone and look at every brush stroke. I'm on a first name basis with some of the curators. Orange hair might be with me. He might not. I come back to the Tower. I might read or I might talk with (Subject #1) about some case. He was shocked to find out about all my "analyzing" at the Academy and how scientific things were there at times. At any time, I might go rushing out the door with the others in answer to a call. Or orange hair and I might . . . Then, at night, we usually all eat together. We might train some more afterward. I might want to go somewhere or orange hair might. Maybe one of the others. It's pretty wide open. There's not a hell of a lot of structure. We do training exercises about once a day and we have to carry communicators with us everywhere but that's about all the schedule there is.

DS: Do you like this life?

#7: Yes. Very much. (Subject #6) thinks it feels kind of isolating but he has a bit of yearning for normalcy. He thinks it's a bit snobbish, too. I understand where he's coming from but I'm fine with it.

DS: And where do you think you'll be in five years?

#7: Gods! Five years? That's practically an eternity in this game. Maybe (subject #6) and I will-

BRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!

_(A warning bell sounded and then Subject #1's voice was heard over the P.A. system "Titans! To the roof! There's trouble in the warehouse district! Looks like General Immortus!"_

#7: Gotta go, Silberman. You can leave this room but you'll be locked onto this level till we get back!

_(With that, she ran from the room. When they did return, an hour and twenty minutes later, I was escorted to the exit by Subject #6 without a word of conversation and a boat was waiting to take me back across the bay.)_


	3. Jinx evaluation summary

June 12, 2008

City Council of Jump City

City Hall

Jump City, CA 94102

Re:The teen metahuman known as "Jinx"

Dear Councilors:

Pursuant to Coucil order 08-1462, this office conducted two psychological evaluation sessions with Jinx, to determine, as mandated by that order, whether the subject constituted a danger to herself and others.

This is my evaluation summary.

The subject is the most recent addition to the Teen Titans roster. She stands 5'8" tall and weighs 120 lbs. She is 18 years old and, as late as age 15 and a half, was actively working for criminal metahuman groups. Subject's extremely exotic appearance, light gray skin with pink hair and eyes, made social integration in grade school nearly impossible. Oppositional attitude combined with developing metahuman abilities led to her recruitment by devotedly criminal enterprises and she enrolled in the HIVE academy for evil. Subject achieved a degree of social integration and made friends there.

As subject matured and was separated from the causes of her oppositional attitudes toward normal social propriety, subject appears to have begun to question her allegiances. A chance meeting with Kid Flash resulted in an opportunity for her to renounce her allegiance to criminal enterprises and she did so. A romantic relationship developed between the two as she became a Teen Titans alternate member. She subsequently achieved full member status shortly before the two married in a civil ceremony at Titans Tower.

The subject is extremely intelligent. She is an autodidact. Her speech is replete with casual and correct references to literary and philosophical figures in a way that would make a college professor proud, despite her apparently only having attended school through a portion of the 4th grade. Her moral development is advanced though her perspective is colored by the difficult circumstances of her childhood and the oppositional attitude she adopted, partly in self defense, as a child. She appreciates subtle moral distinctions and, despite a cynical attitude, has invariably acted to protect innocent life and property since her encounter with Kid Flash.

Her command of her powers is very well developed. They include a supernatural seeming ability to accelerate entropy and cause objects to break down, an ability to project a pulse of energy usually called a "hex" and the ability to extend laser-like energy from her fingertips. Her precision with these abilities is such that, the danger of inadvertant application injuring herself or others appears to be minimal.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical and some form of assessment of the subject's health to ascertain whether it may affect the subject's likelihood to be or become a danger. But the subject's extraordinary nature is such that determining baseline normal conditions would simply not be feasible. This office became aware that S.T.A.R. Labs has evaluated the Teen Titans. A call was placed to S.T.A.R. Labs and a request was made for information regarding the subject's health. S.T.A.R. Labs refused to provide any data and would only supply a terse statement that "Jinx does not suffer from any physical ailment affecting her mind."

I find that the subject, Jinx, of the Teen Titans does not constitute a danger to herself or others.

Sincerely,

David Silberman, M.D.


	4. A session with Kid Flash

Author's note: My version of KF's origins is from my earlier story Here's a Good One

4 May 2008

Transcript of first evaluation session with Subject #6

_(notes in italics added by Silberman, M.D.)_

_(I arrived for my first session with (Subject #6 the day after interviewing his wife. I made it to the boat launch a few minutes early and stared across the bay at Titans Tower thinking, again, that if someone's intention had been to fool onlookers about the size of the building by putting it on that little rock island in the middle of the bay, they had achieved their goal. I considered issues of isolation, again. With their home disconnected from the populace they served, what feelings did that create in these super powered teens? _

_At last, the boat arrived and I was ferried across to the island. I marched up the same stone path to the concrete walk at what passed for the Titans' front door. Not more than a second after I buzzed, a red and yellow blur came straight for the glass then suddenly stopped and (Subject #6) was standing before me. He pressed a button unlocking the door and led me in toward the elevators with only a mumbled "Come on." I was ready to engage him in conversation should the opportunity arise but he didn't even glance at me riding up in the elevator or walking through the hallways to that same 6th floor room. I stepped in but just before he did, (Subject #5) floated by, casually levitating along and asked (Subject #6) which he would prefer for dinner, a "casserole of the wertgrops" or something that sounded like "grobziel". (Subject #6) quickly chose "grobziel". (Subject #5) seemed delighted at this and floated happily away._

_(Subject #6) closed the door and we sat down on opposite sides of the room. In the interest of full disclosure to any parties who should, somehow read this in the future, my 13 year old daughter, Sarah, has a poster on her wall of (Subject #6) and his wife kissing with a caption in large letters reading _

_FLINX!_

_She's been quite taken with (Subject #6) for a few years now so I was familiar with what he looked like from seeing her collection of pictures as well as news reports. Nevertheless, I think I stared at him a few moments. He's not the strongest of superheroes but, seeing him close up, one cannot help but be amazed at his physical condition. He is eighteen years old and stands six foot one and a quarter and weighs 164 pounds (information courtesy of S.T.A.R. Labs). He doesn't seem to have an ounce of fat on him. Square shoulders taper to an impossibly narrow waist and hips, while his legs, though not thick, are nothing but muscle. Even without knowing that he's Kid Flash, anyone would guess that this boy is incredibly fast. His red and yellow suit is skin tight without any shine to its surface and shows every muscle of his body with, thankfully, a little ambiguity at the bulge of his crotch and no seam in back. I'm secure enough to note that he's very handsome, a fact which I'm not sure whether his orange hair adds to or detracts from. (My daughter definitely believes the former). Interestingly, he never showed any conceit about his appearance, quite unusual in men with such looks. _

_Finally, he stopped eyeing me warily and nodded. I turned on the recorder._

DS: This session takes place at . . 3:30 P.M on May Fourth with Doctor David Silberman and . . .

#6: (Subject #6) And, here's the dollar that (Subject #1) says I'm supposed to give you.

_(Subject #6 removes one red glove and pulls a dollar bill from under the skin tight yellow sleeve of his uniform before handing it to me and quickly replacing his glove.)_

DS: Good afternoon.

#6: Good afternoon to you as well. I-I have to tell you that I come into this . . session, this interview, whatever it should be called in something less than an impartial frame of mind. (Subject #7) was pretty worked up both before and after your session with her yesterday. And, like I said to you yesterday, I think this whole thing is totally unfair to all of us. (Subject #2) wouldn't hurt a fly. Why isn't there someone at the City with the balls to stand up to a relative of a City Council member and tell him that his little girl's fantasies don't require legal action?

DS: I'm . . I'm just doing my job. I'm not endorsing the City Council's vote to require these evaluations. I'm just the guy who has to do this job afterward.

#6: . . . sorry. I guess that wasn't being fair to you. I just . . don't understand why Jump City is so different than Keystone City where (Subject #6's mentor) is based.

DS: What are things like in Keystone City?

#6: Well, they built a museum there as a tribute to (Subject #6's mentor). That should give you some idea about how people there think about (Subject#6's mentor). And the police there don't have any of this paranoid skepticism about heroes that the police in Jump City have.

DS: Should there be some skepticism?

#6: Well, sure, I guess. We're very powerful. But we don't do anything but try to help. And we've all made tremendous sacrifices in our lives to do this. We all risk our lives without much of a thought about it. That Captain Doyle has an ax to grind against anyone metahuman, hero or villain; she's nuts.

DS: Well, try to think of me as just being the instrument of the City's reasonable skepticism.

#6: Only it's not reasonable! I-I ruined my life for a few years there, to do this, to-to be a hero and the thanks I get is to have to prove that I'm not a danger to people?! How do I prove a negative, anyway? How is that reasonable? No one can prove with absolute certainty that they're not dangerous. You couldn't either, doc.

DS: Well, that's true but the standard isn't one of absolute proof. It's more of . . beyond a reasonable doubt.

#6: But I've never hurt anyone. In 6 plus years of doing this, I've never hurt anyone, including myself. Never. Isn't that the best guide to what I'll do? Doesn't that get you beyond the point of reasonable doubt as far as the idea that I could be a danger? I mean, you . . . you understand why this is so frustrating to me, right?

DS: I can . . sympathize.

#6: Well, what am I supposed to do in this session, anyway? How do I show that I'm not a danger to myself or others if a long record of using my powers doesn't show that?

DS: Well, we can just talk. But, you know, you don't have to see this as something imposed on you unfairly. I'm a psychiatrist. You paid me a dollar. You're my client now. Is there anything you'd like to get off your chest. Sometimes just talking can help.

_(There was a long pause as (Subject #6) regarded me warily before finally speaking.)_

#6: You know . . . I can already say pretty much anything to my wife (Subject #7) and (Subject #1). I don't need to-to unburden myself to you.

DS: (Subject #1)? Really?

#6: He's my best friend.

DS: Hmmph. Your . . images are very different.

#6: We believed those images, too, before we met. I didn't like him and he didn't like me. Right from the start, like some kind of feud or vendetta or something, speedsters against bats. But a funny thing happened after we started talking. We realized that we aren't so different after all and became good friends.

DS: But he's like you-

#6: No one's like me except (Justice League mentor) and even he's not exactly the same as me.

DS: What I was going to say is that he's a hero like you. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. I'm outside the forest. You and he are in the middle of it.

#6: So, you're saying that you may have insights we couldn't give each other?

DS: Something like that, yes.

#6: I suppose. . . . . I just . . . I can't cause my friends to be hurt. I can't.

DS: Of course. I understand. Let me emphasize that I'm a professional. People confide in me every day. And I always maintain my professional code of ethics.

#6: But, this isn't just gossip. People's lives are on the line. Nothing can ever go anywhere. Nothing. Ever.

DS: The transcripts are staying here in the Tower.

#6: But you're not.

DS: Look, I've been doing this for 16 years without ever divulging anyone's secrets.

#6: They'll offer you money. Lots of money. Has anyone ever offered you lots of money to tell secrets about your clients?

DS: Who would offer money?

#6: The tabloids. The gossip pages of the regular papers. Certain internet sites. You wouldn't believe the interest in us. For instance, there's a standing offer of a million dollars from one gossip magazine for nude pictures of any Titan.

DS: Well, I'm not doing physicals and I'm not taking pictures of any of you.

#6: But that's the kind of interest that there is.

DS: Hmmph. Well, I . . I can't tell you anything more than a broad outline, but I was offered money once. It was a divorce case. The husband wanted to prove that the wife had been unfaithful and . . . . but, no, not a million dollars. But I refused! And I reported the offer to the judge in the divorce case.

_(There was another long pause as Subject #6 eyed me warily)_

DS: You don't have to go beyond a certain point if you don't want to.

#6: . . . . there were times . . four or five years ago when I thought I might need a shrink, dealing with the whole secret identity thing.

DS: That was a particular problem for you?

#6: Yeah. That's another thing that (Subject #1) has in common with me. The other Titans don't really have secret identities. He and I do. It's a real pain in the ass to deal with, all the acting and pretending . . . feeling one way about yourself part of the time and a different way at another time and other people doing the same thing. One minute they're dumping on you; the next, they're trying to kiss your speedster ass.

DS: This is fascinating to me, because the topic of secret identities is very much in vogue in the psychiatric community. Heller and Burnham just published a piece in American Shrink about this called "Shattered Personnae and Trait Repositories".

#6: You guys write articles about us?

DS: Well, not just the Teen Titans, but heroes in general. Metahuman activity is so prominent in our society these days it was inevitable that you received the academic community's attention. There are even evolutionary biologists of the Stephen Jay Gould sort, I mean, he was a jackass and a fool on a lot of things but his theory that evolution sometimes jumps ahead, it's not one steady conveyor belt, well, some of his devotees see people like you as the first examples of a jump that human evolution is about to take. Why are you smiling?

#6: It's nothing. Of course, without any understanding of the underlying factors predicating such a jump, it's all speculative, isn't it, doc?

DS: Well . . . right . . . sure. Sure, but, anyway, the-the field of psychiatry is very interested in people like you. There are multiple theories about how keeping a secret identity affects someone like you.

#6: Really?

DS: Oh yeah. I wouldn't be surprised to see a MacArthur grant go to someone studying metahuman psychology.

#6: Those so-called "genius" grants?

DS: Right. Those are the ones. Say, you really are pretty sharp. Where'd you hear about those things?

#6 I read a lot. I'm not the dumb jock that CNN seems bent on making me seem to be. But, did any actual genius ever get one of those grants?

DS: Well, it's such a vague term, but no, not really. They end up going to people who already did flashy, pardon the pun, work and who had the right connections. But work regarding people like you and your teammates as well as the Justice League would certainly be high enough profile.

#6: And, Heller and Burnham . . .

DS: Right, right. Well, their theory is one of three general positions about metahumans with secret identities. See, they think that when you pretend to be two completely separate people, one of whom is super powered, and the other normal, that you'll suppress ego in the supposedly normal identity and expand it in the metahuman identity to the point that you become a thrill seeking adrenaline junkie in the latter.

#6: Hmmph.

DS: You don't agree?

#6: I don't see any adrenaline junkie behavior among my teammates or our mentors in the League.

DS: Well, it's just a theory. And it did sort of answer the question put forth by the earlier Schiller monograph asking why metahumans don't act as though they're beyond good and evil like Nietzsche's Zorathustra.

#6: Zarathustra.

DS: Right. Zarathustra. Why they don't consider themselves beyond good and evil, like the title of the book.

#6: So, if I get you right, their theory is that we just go along with the whole catch the crooks thing as a way to act out our need for adventure rather than as an expression of power?

DS: Well, that's kind of crude but, yeah, that's about it. But that's only one theory about secret identities. Simkiewicz had an article in Brainwash that said the split would be along different lines, not a sort of bipolar split where one identity is manic and the other depressive but a full split of characteristics such that the metahuman might be kind as a superhero but sort of a jerk as a supposedly normal person, aloof as a superhero but social as the secret identity, etc. . . . You're rolling your eyes.

#6: I don't know about that one, either. We may pretend to be a different kind of person as a civilian but that seems a bit farfetched. You said there were three theories?

DS: Right. Um, right. There's another one. The third one is mostly attributed to St. Pierre. He sort of sidesteps the whole issue of the split and which traits are expressed by which identity. It's his theory that the metahuman will inevitably gravitate toward the identity in which he gets to express his super power and that the civilian identity, as you call it, will always just become a sort of placeholder identity involving no more expression of the actual person than absolutely necessary to keep up pretenses.

#6: Well, I had a hard time with my secret identity before but I'm superhero me almost 24-7 now. That's what happens when you live at Titans Tower. Hell, regular clothes feel weird to me now, cloth moving against my skin, sometimes touching me, sometimes not. This ridiculous unitard feels completely normal now.

DS: And when you started?

#6: I felt like a ridiculous freak. I mean, I love the way I looked. But the suit . . ! I was 11 and 9 months when I got my powers. And I was wearing a suit like this. Ugh. I had this comic book idea of what doing this hero thing was like and I found out fast that it wasn't all just like the comic books.

DS: For instance . . . ?

#6: Such as, well, start with the suit. It's this stuff that (Justice League mentor) invented. And (Justice League mentor) always looked fine in it, better than fine, in fact. He visited my grade school once and nobody laughed or snickered or anything. It fit him just like mine fits me now. Everyone was in awe of him. He looked like an olympic 400 meter champion only better. But I was just a kid. It was so humiliating to be wearing this skin tight unitard all the time. And I was so small.

DS: Were you a short boy?

#6: No, I don't mean it that way. I was taller than average but very skinny all the time growing up. And then when I got super speed, (Justice League mentor) said it must've sort of interacted with a growth spurt I was starting to have the first time I used it. Overnight I was like 3 inches taller and I suddenly had some muscle to my shoulders and my waist was even more ridiculously narrow and my calves became incredible and my uh . . my uh . . uh . . glutes, too. And every ounce of fat was burned off me. It made me this almost exaggerated sprinter shape. But I was still just barely 5 feet tall.

DS: So?

#6: So, cops didn't like being shown up by a kid a foot shorter than them who didn't weigh half as much as them. Some of 'em were really good guys. But others would make fun of me to my face. Oh, here comes firehair in his ballet tights. A lot of 'em would joke behind my back. There was just none of that same team, all in this together kind of feel I always saw (Justice League mentor) get from them. And the crooks!

DS: How big of a problem was that?

#6: Just a . . let me finish. The-the crooks would hold out to the bitter end because they were too embarassed to surrender to the skinny ass kid in the unitard who didn't weigh a hundred pounds yet. Sometimes in Keystone City, (Justice League mentor) would show up on the scene and hoods would just . .

_(Subject #6 gets up from his chair, turns his back toward me and puts his wrists together behind him as if presenting them for handcuffs, then sits back down)_

#6: But with me, they'd fight to the end. I'd have to catch all six or nine or however many bullets they had in their gun out of the air because they were too embarrassed to go to jail and have everyone see a picture of skinny little me arresting 'em. It was nuts till I got to be about 14 or 15.

DS: About the police, how big of a problem was their lack of respect?

#6: It was a huge problem. I was dealing with all these pressures, all these hassles, all these things working against me and that should've been a plus. Instead it was this big minus. One more on the heap. I thought my life was gonna be perfect when I became (Subject #6) instead it was this ordeal of pressures from every direction with no help.

DS: Really?

#6: I almost quit once. Well, I sort of did. I went to see my Aunt, (Justice League mentor's) wife and told her I was quitting but she-

DS: Wait. So, (Justice League mentor) is your Uncle?

#6: You can't ever tell anyone.

DS: No! Of course not! I'd never-

#6: Promise!

DS: My-my professional oath is my promise! I-

#6: Promise! You have to promise to me!

DS: Fine. Fine. I give you my word of honor, I won't tell anyone.

#6: . . . . . . yes, he's my uncle. And my aunt was the most wonderful person I ever knew. . . . Did you notice the verb tense?

DS: You, uh, you said 'was'.

#6: That's right! Someone killed her. A-a villain wanted to get back at (Justice League mentor) and somehow figured out who he and she were. And he . . . . he fucking killed her! The most fantastic woman, the only reason half my life was bearable! He killed her. That's why you had to promise. Now, promise again!

DS: But I already promised. I don't think-

#6: Promise again!

DS: Alright, alright. I give you my word-

#6: On the sacred memory of the wonderful life of my Aunt

DS: . . . !

#6: Go ahead. On the sacred memory of . . .

DS: On the . . sacred memory of . .

#6: The wonderful life of my Aunt.

DS: the wonderful life of your Aunt that I-that I won't tell.

#6: . . . .

DS: You were-you were saying about how you quit once but she talked you out of it . .

#6: Oh . . yeah. She was so smart, so wise about things. She knew just how to handle things, what I needed to hear.

DS: And that's why you go to all the trouble with secret identities to try and prevent things like that.

#6: . . . . . . . . yeah

DS: You said she made your life bearable.

#6: Huh?

DS: Your aunt? You said she made your life bearable. Care to explain?

_(There was a long pause before Subject #6 finally sighed and then instantaneously disappeared from the room before returning a second later with a small picture in one red gloved hand. He handed it to me.)_

#6: That's me and-and my family.

_(The photo was one of those posed deals of parents with children you might get at the mall. But something was awry to even the casual onlooker. The mom and dad in this picture had their hands on the shouldes of their smiling daughter in front of them while standing off to the side was a little orange haired boy. They weren't even touching him. And while she looked happy, he looked anxious and unsettled. And, he didn't look like them. Skin and hair and eyes, the shape of his face, were all totally different.)_

DS: Oh.

#6: When a father . . suspects, oh hell, when he knows-when he knows that his wife's child isn't his, how often does he . . do right?

DS: What do you mean 'do right'?

#6: Gods doc, don't be obtuse. You know what I mean.

DS: No, tell me.

#6: Do-do I have to spell it out in hugs and kisses and time spent and every way it's shown?! Do I really have to?! How often do fathers love the children their wife has by other men? There. Explicit enough?

DS: I'm not trying to make this difficult for you. I just have to be sure we're talking about the same thing. And the answer is that the data's a bit sketchy.

#6: Sketchy? Thank god you're a trained professional or you might try and put me off with vague b.s.

DS: Look, there are degrees of the attachment that forms between a parent and a child. Sometimes the father accepts the . . uh . . the bastard child as his own and loves it as though the child was. Sometimes the attachment isn't complete. The relationship is strained and the father doesn't spend as much time with-

#6: How often does the father totally ignore a boy, I mean, totally, and essentially refuse to speak to him and make him feel horrible?

DS: . . . . Usually . . . . um . . . . usually when there's a, uh, a complete lack of . . . attachment, the father . . . doesn't . . . doesn't stick around.

#6: What if he did? How would that be for the boy?

DS: . . . um . . . well . . . it could be worse than if the father left. If the man he believes to be his father leaves, the boy can attach blame to the father. He may ascribe some to himself for causing the father's departure but he has a chance to form a loving relationship with the next man his mother sees. A father who sticks around but shows no interest in his son can be devastating to that boy's self image.

#6: I know . . . . . . I didn't understand at the time. I had no idea. I had friends who had different hair color than their parents or who looked a bit different. So what? You'd just think they got it from an uncle or aunt. When I got to be 8 and 9 and 10 I just thought . . . I just thought I had really bad parents. But I never shook the feeling that I was to blame, that there was something wrong with me. My mom complained about me all the time. All the time. Why are you so messy? Why are you so lazy? What a rotten kid you are!

DS: But you weren't?

#6: No! I was-I was a really good kid. I-I wanted so desperately to please them. I thought . . . I thought that if I could just please them, did every single thing they said I was supposed to do, they'd care for me. They'd spend time with me. They'd . . . love me. I didn't realize. It didn't matter what I did. They just moved the goal posts however far they had to move them.

DS: That must have hurt.

_(Subject #6 only nodded slightly with closed eyes)_

DS: And you saw other kids whose families loved them and you both couldn't stop watching it and hated to watch it.

#6: Yes. Yes, exactly. My friend (name redacted) would complain about something his parents did and I wanted to smack him. They fucking adored (name redacted). He took so much for granted. When he realized how my parents treated me he couldn't believe it.

DS: Did you ever ask them directly? Why?

#6: No. I just . . accepted that that's the way things were. Well, kind of. I kept trying. I got really good grades. I was this incredibly skinny kid but I was a really good athlete. I was one of those really skinny boys that adults with their bellies and flab stared at like I was another species. They wondered how I did it. But my mom and dad never came to a single swim meet or a baseball game. They'd look at my report card then just put it down. I couldn't understand it. They would be all A's. But they would say nothing about it. I did really well in school. I loved learning things. School sucked, all the being made fun of for orange hair and being smart and being poor, but I loved learning things. It was easy. All A's, but it just made no impression on them. I couldn't understand it. It was like they would rather I did badly or just disappeared. Once -haha- once we went to the mall. I don't remember the circumstance but we all got in the car and went to the mall just like a real family. And just inside the doors where we went in there was a book store. And I remember getting so engrossed in reading something that I forgot everything and suddenly, an hour and a half later, I looked up from where I was sitting on the carpet of the book store and realized that my family was gone. I remembered that my father was going to meet my mother, sister and me, at the car at a certain time. I went sprinting out of that store then out the mall to the parking lot. The engine was running and my mom was buckling my sister in. Another 10 seconds and they'd have left without me. And my mom made it all out to be my fault, too. They would have left without me, supposedly their son, but it was all my fault. So, I got the anxiety and the guilt.

DS: Did they ever . . hit or abuse you?

#6: I got hit very infrequently. Not very often at all, really. They just . . didn't want me, didn't . . . love me and made it clear.

DS: It's very rare that it goes quite like that.

#6: Good. Because it sucked. They made me feel like shit for no reason. I made friends at school, good friends, but sometimes it'd be a long time between seeing my aunt and . . . god, it'd be so hard. I'd feel like I was crumbling. Then, after I became (Subject #6), I had this new feeling, this new certainty. I didn't deserve to be treated like shit and ignored. I was a fucking superhero for god's sake! But the whole superhero thing destroyed all my friendships. It was so goddam lonely.

DS: What was your aunt like?

#6: Aunt (name redacted) was incredible. She was famous or at least semi famous for her writing and her reporting. She had this tremendous sense of confidence about her in a way that you usually associate with men. It wasn't just a confidence in dealing with people like some women have. It was a confidence that she could handle anything. She wasn't a-a showoff or a bragger or anything. She just felt that way and you couldn't help but pick up on it. And she was a lot of fun. Even a kid like me could tell she was really smart, but not in a one upping you kind of way or showing you who was boss. She always seemed to be having a good time. And she was interested in me. Out of 20 or 25 people at holiday gatherings she always picked out me. She always had me sit on the arm of her chair and she'd talk to me. And she'd tell me that I was smart or that I was handsome. I-I couldn't believe my famous aunt was saying these things. My parents never did. Me?! Handsome?! Oh come on Aunt (name redacted)! I have orange hair! I'm so skinny! . . . Me?! Really?! And she'd listen to me talk, I mean, really listen, not with preconceived lines to throw back like adults usually do. She paid attention to what you actually said. She made me feel so good about myself. She made it all . . okay. It was. . . things were . . okay because of a . . few hours with her a . . couple times a year.

DS: Are . . are you okay? Do you want to take a minute?

#6: No, I"m . . I'm okay. She even told off my parents a couple times. 'What are you, nuts?! You give six Christmas presents to your daughter and only one to him?! And it's a pencil set, a crappy fricking pencil set?!"

DS: So, someone was an advocate for you.

#6: Yeah. I don't know how I would have gotten through everything without her. I'm just glad she . . lived long enough to see me become a Teen Titan and to meet (Subject #7). She really wanted me to succeed and be happy.

DS: Did she know why things were that way?

#6: I-I'm not sure. She might've known part of it but not the whole thing. I only found out 2 years ago.

_(There was a long pause as Subject #6 stared at me while he considered something)_

#6: Have you ever heard of a villain called The Reverse Flash, also known as Professor Zoom?

DS: Yes, I've seen some news articles, some stories on TV. He's the one who says he's from the future -

#6: He is.

DS: And with super speed who wears a uniform the opposite of (Subject #6's mentor)'s, yellow where your guy's is red, red where your guy's is yellow, switching black and white, too.

#6: He . . he's from the late 29th century. He came here, to our time, once, just meaning to sort of challenge (Subject #6's mentor) but immediately came off as a villain. So, the next time he came to our era he decided to play a trick on (Subject #6's mentor). He went about 15 years further into the past. His idea was to impregnate (Subject #6's mentor's) wife and have him raise Zoom's child. Pretty funny huh, real barrel of laughs that Zoom. Only he screwed up and hooked up with the wrong woman, not my aunt. My mother.

DS: So! So your father is . . a . . villain?!

#6: Yes . . . the-the same one who, on a later trip to our time, killed my aunt.

DS: Oh my god. So . . genetically, you're half someone from the 29th century and-

#6: More than that. S.T.A.R. Labs told me I'm ninety something percent him. Something about those genes being dominant. I . . I don't have a tail bone or an appendix or . . well, I'm different.

DS: And that was true before you ever got super speed?

#6: Right.

DS: How did that make you feel, finding out that your real father was a villain from the 29th century?

#6: Like a freak, or even more of a freak than I did before and . . and sort of . . guilty.

DS: Because that man killed your aunt?

#6: . . . . . . . . yes

DS: Do you-do you need a minute?

#6: No, I'll be . . fine. I just haven't thought about parts of this in a little while. I loved her so much. I was worried that (Justice League mentor) wouldn't look at me the same way again. I mean, I never thought he'd cut ties with me or anything but I thought it might . . change how he treated me.

DS: Did it?

#6: No. He's a terrific guy. He can be a little insensitive on small things but he always gets the big things right.

DS: Good. But how did you discover this?

#6: _(sighs)_He came back for me.

DS: Your biological father, the-the villain?

#6: Yes. He-he came back. I guess he felt guilty for abandoning me 5 minutes after conception. He realized he'd gotten the wrong Miss (name redacted) and stormed out of the hotel right after creating me, his intended joke on (Justice League mentor). But just before I turned 16, he came back after like 1 year of his time, and he was all (Subject #6's real first name)! Please! You are a wonderful mercury of a boy! You must return to the 29th century with me! You must!

DS: Professor Zoom? The one who killed your aunt?

#6: Well, he claimed he hadn't . . yet. He had just come from the year 2874. He said he hadn't done it at that time but couldn't deny that he might have come from 2875 and done it.

DS: Wow, time travel issues. That's so bizarre.

#6: Tell me about it.

DS: Did you believe him?

#6: I . . . I guess I sort of did. He . . he seemed to genuinely want to connect with me, to regret being such an asshole. But I wasn't about to go to some place or time, actually, that I'd never been with a guy who was at least part villain. Still, incredible as it may seem, I almost felt . . sorry for him. He . . he wanted to be with his son. He was an asshole for abandoning me and starting all the bullshit of me being crapped on. But he wanted me to be with him. Only, I couldn't.

_(Subject #6 sat there pensively for most of a minute and I waited for his mood to change.)_

DS: Well, if this Professor Zoom has super speed, why weren't you born with it?

#6: Huh? Oh, he gets his from his suit, somehow. (Justice League mentor) and I get ours naturally, I guess you could say, from our bodies.

DS: I see. And does the nature of your origin cause you any problem with other heroes?

#6: Well, I don't talk about it. My wife and (Subject #1) know. I think she vaguely likes it, that in some obscure way I'm not Mr. Squeaky Clean.

DS: Hmm. Well, let's go back to something you said a few minutes back. You said that (Justice League mentor) was sometimes insensitive about things. Is that true?

#6: Well, yeah. He always wanted me to do stuff to protect my secret identity that made things harder for me. It was hard enough as it was. Put yourself in my shoes, you go through this accident with lightning and chemicals that should've killed you about 10 different ways but somehow, you're not only alive but you've got super speed. And it reshapes your body, makes it better but kind of, um, distinctive. What do you have to do?

DS: Well, I guess I can't let the other kids see how I look now, right?

(Subject #6 nodded then disappeared from the room in a blue or red and yellow then reappeared in a blur of blue and gray a split second later. He was sitting in the same chair only wearing a hugely oversized gray shirt over hugely oversized jeans and had all his orange hair tucked under a blood red knit hat.)

#6: Right. I started wearing this at school. And I did whatever I had to do to never take off my clothes in front of anyone, including in gym class.

DS: But how many boys have orange hair or a face like yours? Why didn't they know anyway?

#6: Well, the mask hides my face a bit and, remember, I told you that when I first became (Subject #6), the speedforce triggered an accelerated growth spurt and I grew 3 or 4 inches almost literally overnight. So, when I first pulled on the uniform, I made sure to visit my school with (Justice League mentor) and between being 3 or 4 inches taller and these boots, it sort of got everyone off the scent. They all thought (Subject #6) was bigger than me.

DS: What did you do afterward, as the civilian you, always slouch?

#6: Yeah, basically. And I wore this hat everywhere to try and diminish the whole association of orange hair with me. And of course there were (Justice League mentor)'s great ideas. 'Hey, if there's a chance that someone will humiliate you, let it happen!' And, 'hey, if bigger kids want to pick on you, let it happen, especially if they chase you down to do it!' People won't associate anything like that happening to a superhero, to someone with powers. All my life, in school, I had people making fun of me for my orange hair or because I'm smart but I could always outrun anything really bad happening. Then I become a superhero and I'm getting stuffed butt down into these high trash cans we have at school so that only my feet and head stick out over the top. I had fat slow kids 'catch' me and give me atomic wedgies. I had two kids stuff me, upside down, in my own locker. At the end of 8th grade, I had a bunch of fat slow seniors to be jump me and paddle my ass off the back of a pickup truck in front of half the fricking school. All that crap and more I put up with, let happen even though I could see it coming from a mile away, just so that people did think of me as that superhero boy.

DS: (Justice League mentor) didn't realize that you didn't like allowing yourself to be humiliated?

#6: He was only thinking of what was good for me the superhero. And he was right. It was good for having kids not think of me as potentially being that boy in the red and yellow suit to be stuffed into trash cans so that my sneakers were pressing against my teeth.

DS: Gee, that's a bit of an extreme position.

_(Subject #6 shakes his head, then gets up from his chair, bends forward at the waist and easily presses his palms to the carpet while pressing his lips to his sneakers before standing up straight and then sitting back down.)_

#6: It's a speedster thing. We're extremely loose and supple. Just a sec, let me get out of this stuff it feels weird.

_(Subject #6 leaves in a blur of blue and gray and returns less than a second later in a blur of red and yellow, in the same skin tight suit as before then sits down opposite me.)_

DS: So, you put up with all sorts of humiliation as the civilian you to protect the hero you. You almost have an identity of shame and one of pride.

#6: I don't know about that. I guess that's partly true. But, mostly, I was tremendously bored in school. I was a really smart kid before and school was dull but after I became . . this, well, you've heard the term 'speed reading'? I would read my school books all the way through the first day of school. I'd just sit there in class staring off into space. Why should I care about some easy algebra that I knew cold when I could be thinking about Captain Cold and what his next plan might be or what those reports about Gorilla Grodd might mean. I got a reputation as a total space cadet for the way I ignored teachers. But how the hell could I pay full attention. It was energy conservation too. I had super speed but if I got tired out, I was just a skinny kid in a ridiculous suit who had pissed off whatever crook or villain I was fighting. That was a big weakness. I had no stamina when I was 12 and 13 years old.

DS: And your superhero work seemed a lot more important, too?

#6: Exactly. I-I worked this thing out with the Jump City Police just like (Justice League mentor) has with the Keystone City police. A certain high frequency signal makes my ring buzz on my finger and tells me that the police are calling for me. They called me something like a hundred sixty times over 4 years. It would've been more but I was already patrolling and on the scene a bunch of other times. I answered every single call. Every single one.

DS: It must've been hard to keep the rest of your life together while being on call like that.

#6: Not hard, doc, impossible. I started bailing out on my friends. I'd agree to be somewhere and I'd be on my way when bzzz! Bzzz! My ring would go off and I'd pull on my suit, hide my other clothes and go rescue people from a burning building or end a hostage standoff at a bank. I had a couple good friends and a year after becoming . . this, I had no friends. None. I had dates with two different girls who were nice enough to look past my weird image and each time I had to run off and play hero. You think any girls at our school wanted to have anything to do with me after that?

DS: Probably not.

#6: Of course not! And while I'm destroying what little life as I had, my only attachments, I've got cops making fun of me and snickering at my ass or just resenting me and nothing at all at home, no love. Nothing.

DS: Why'd you keep doing it?

#6: I told you I sort of tried to quit once.

DS: Why didn't you?

#6: Well, for one thing, I . . when I use my speed, there's a sort of chemical process that takes place inside of me that produces endorphins. It-it feels good. For another, the difference I could make was huge. After about a year as a hero, I saw my first dead body. It was probably odd that it took so long. It was this guy in his 20's and he died with his eyes open. You'd have thought he was watching you. It was terrible. And he had this expression on his face like he was saying, 'No! Please let me live more! Please!' And I saw his wife and baby boy show up on the scene. And there was crying and everything incredibly sad that you'd expect. I'd remember that and I'd remember the people I'd saved who were wonderfully grateful to me. All that would be weighed against being at my friend (name redacted)'s house to play a video game when I said I would. How could I be playing video games when I could be using this incredible power and saving someone's life. I wanted to say no a lot of times but I never could.

DS: When did things get better, only when you became a Titan?

#6: No, a bit before that. As I got bigger and it wasn't so ridiculous to be wearing this suit things seemed a little better. And after a couple years some more of the cops were giving me respect. I mean, I did a lot of terrific work helping them. It shouldn't have taken a couple years for them to treat me better, but hey. And then I met (Subject #7).

DS: Ah, your wife. Was it love at first sight between you two?

#6: Not for me.

DS: I see.

#6: For me it was love before first sight. I was watching the city for the Titans and speeding by a museum when I saw some suspicious activity. I snuck up on them and listened from behind a giant oak tree as she was telling her teammates why they were there. And she knew all this historical background and expressed it to them with such enthusiasm, such an obvious love of learning things. I was shocked, not by her being smart, but the way I was feeling. I didn't want that girl to go to jail. Then when I saw what a slender beauty she is . . . !

DS: And . . . shortly after you met her you became a Titan?

#6: That's right. And this is great. It's a bit weird, not having a structure to life like normal people but there's camraderie here, there's frienship and there's life with (Subject #7), too.

_(Subject #6 smiles contentedly at me for several moments.)_

DS: And much less secret identity effort, right?

#6: Right doc.

DS: Well, this is a good stopping point. This is David Silberman, M.D. End of Session.


	5. Kid Flash evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

KID FLASH

The subject was the first addition to the Teen Titans roster since the initial constitution of the team as including five members. He stands just over 6'1" tall and weighs 164 lbs. He is 18 years old and, first burst on the scene in late April 2002 as the similarly powered protege of the Justice League member, The Flash.

A Nexis database search revealed news stories about Kid Flash patrolling and fighting crime alongside The Flash for approximately eight more months after which nearly all news stories in which he was mentioned feature him as a solo crime fighter up until he joined the Teen Titans.

With the exception of the period from June 17-June19 2006, when he was being blackmailed by the villain, Slade, I find no record of Kid Flash committing any crime or intentionally hurting any innocent person.

Approximately one year before that, Kid Flash had encountered a group of teen villains known as the HIVE Five and their leader, Jinx. Kid Flash actively recruited Jinx away from a life of crime. She subsequently became a full fledged Titan as well and the two are now married.

I find that the subject is very intelligent. Contrary to the image sometimes put forth in the media of a cocky boy lacking seriousness, the young man to whom I spoke displayed no arrogance and was quite thoughtful.

Subject grew up in a very difficult family atmosphere in which he was deprived of much normal parental attachment. As a result of this, subject seems to be predisposed to strengthening social bonds whenever possible. Subject feels sincere empathy for the unfortunate and downtrodden. Perhaps because subject's difficult circumstances could be blamed on specific individuals close to him and he did not have a pariah status in school or elsewhere, subject appears not to have developed a generalized oppositional attitude. Subject has achieved mature adult perspective on the events of his life and appreciates subtle moral distinctions. With exception of the brief period noted above when being blackmailed with the threat of the death of Jinx, by Slade, suject has invariably acted to protect the innocent and catch crimininals.

Subject's power is that of super speed. He is able to run at speeds of many thousands of miles per hour. Exactly how fast is uncertain. Some reports have said that he left a particular location in Jump City, ran across the United States, across the Atlantic Ocean to Paris and then returned with a croissant for Jinx in a matter of seconds. He is also able to vibrate the molecules of his body so that he can pass through solid obstacles and also so that solid objects or projectiles such as bullets pass harmlessly through him. When fighting hand to hand, subject is almost impossible to strike and if somehow grabbed can vibrate his body to create intense friction heat and force his opponent to let him go. Subject is able to run create mini typhoons through circular patterns of running and by whirling his arms. His command of his powers is extremely precise. He was initially tutored in their use by his mentor, The Flash, and has continuted to refine his control of them since. The danger to himself or others from inadvertant application of his powers seems minimal.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a physical condition that will affect his outlook or judgement. But the subject's physical nature is such that evaluating any of his body's systems against established norms may be useless.

This office became aware that S.T.A.R. Labs has evaluated the Teen Titans. An initial phone call to S.T.A.R. Labs requesting data was rebuffed with a terse declaration that data concerning patients would not be shared and was protected by the same doctor-client privilege as psychological information. A subsequent written request for data relevant to the health of Kid Flash elicited only the following brief synopsis:

"Kid Flash:

age: approximately 18 years old

height: six feet one and one quarter inches

weight: 164 pounds

fat percentage: 0.4 percent

chest: 41 inches

waist: 27 inches

hips: 39 inches

neck: 15.5 inches

bicep: 13 inches

thigh: 23 inches

calf: 16 inches

Kid Flash does not suffer from any physical ailment affecting his mind. It is difficult to see how he could be any healthier."

I find that the subject, Kid Flash, of the Teen Titans does not constitute a danger to himself or others.


	6. A session with Starfire

Author's note: It's been so long since I updated this, I think I should give a few reminders. This is about a series of court ordered psychological evaluations of the Titans. As part of the negotiation about what the record of those evaluations would be, Robin had the City's representatives agree that no names would be used in the transcripts of the sessions with the court appointed psychiatrist, David Silberman, none, not even that of the Titan speaking in that particular session. So, each Titan is identified as Subject #-. Robin=Subject #1, Cyborg=Subject #2, Beast Boy=Subject #3, Raven=Subject #4, Starfire=Subject #5, Kid Flash=Subject #6, Jinx=Subject #7.

**

**

_9 May 2008_

_(My upcoming session with (subject #5) had been on my mind all morning. How, exactly, do you evaluate the psychology of a girl literally from another planet. That's the story about her. First seen nearly four years ago in Jump City. She caused significant damage in one district of the city but was officially pardoned as she was supposedly being transported as a slave by another group of aliens, the Gordanians. Some elements of the press have tried to debunk the official story about her and claim that she's a girl from earth, not some other planet. But they run into an obstacle in trying to explain her incredible powers._

_I was still trying to decide what the right questions were to ask someone from another planet when the boat launch arrived at the dock and ferried me across the bay to Titans Tower. I marched up the stone steps to the glass front door and pressed the buzzer. After just a moment, (Subject #6) and (Subject #1) came around the corner, joking under their breath to each other. It was startling to me to see (Subject #1) smiling like that after all my encounters with the Titans' invariably somber leader. (Subject #1) then told (Subject #6) that he'd take care of things and waved for me to follow him. I tried to match his brisk stride and barely got into the elevator before the doors closed. (Subject #1) didn't look at me or even say a word as we rode up in the elevator to the 6th floor. Once there, he ushered me into the room where I'd been having sessions with the Titans and muttered "Keep in mind how limited your understanding of her is," before closing the door behind me. I think I sighed in frustration. There was such a skeptical attitude toward me from these teens. Was it just this incident with the little girl and (Subject #2) that had them feeling this way or did they have other grievances against the way the City had treated them?_

_My speculation only lasted a minute and then (Subject #5) walked in the room. Her appearance is unique. She has an exotic sort of beauty with golden skin, purplish red hair, large green eyes and the slender figure of a model. Her outfit featured a skimpy top with an odd neck to it and a short skirt. According to information supplied by S.T.A.R. Labs, she stands 6 feet tall and weighs 135 pounds. She is cheerful. _

_She sat down opposite me and stared at me with a look of uncertainty then started speaking before the tape was running._

_I turned on the recorder._

#5: -to shrink my head?

DS: No, that's not what I _(sighs)_ This session takes place at . . 1:45 P.M. on May 5 2008 with Dr. David Silberman and . . . . . . . . . . . . . with Dr. David Silberman and . . . . . . . . . . . . um, you're supposed to say your name now.

#5: Oh, I am (Subject #5)!

DS: Thank you.

#5: You are most welcome friend shrink.

DS: Um, well, shrink is somewhat of a pejorative term, slang at best.

#5: What is this pejorative?

DS: It means that it's a term with mostly negative meanings.

#5: But it is what friend (Subject #7) and friend (Subject #6) called you. And they are very fair. He is very nice, not surprising given that he has orange hair, haha! But she is also nice once you get past her velsorg.

DS: Her . . velsorg?

#5: It is a Tamaranian word meaning, hmm, let's see, the false bravado of the toughness.

DS: You speak english well, for someone from another planet. Other people from earth at least have common speech patterns and languages developed in nearby countries often have roots of words in common but you had nothing to help you.

#5: That is true. So I kissed friend (Subject #1).

DS: You what?

#5: It is how we Tamaranians absorb language when we meet people from other worlds, by the tactile connection.

DS: So, you just kissed (Subject #1) and you were able to understand english?

#5: Yes, that is true. It helped that he was so cute, hehehe!

DS: You've been here on earth for how long?

#5: For 4 of your planet's revolutions around its sun!

DS: 4 years.

#5: Yes. That is what I said.

DS: And how have you found Earth?

#5: Oh, it is very easy. You have a medium sized yellow sun not many light years past those two red suns over there at the edge of the galaxy. Once you pass Saturn, you-

DS: No, I-I mean, how have you liked living here on Earth.

#5: Oh! I have liked Earth very much. Most of the people are very friendly and my teammates are wonderful friends and excellent warriors.

DS: Would you like to talk about that?

#5: No.

DS: No? Really? Why not?

#5: Well, I would like to do the word associations. Friend (Subject #7) said that we might do that. And I wanted to do well at this, so I was practicing this morning. For instance, you might say "wertgrops" and, of course, I would immediately respond "feldstang". That is how it is done, yes?

DS: Um, I think so.

#5: Then you will do the associations of the words with me?

DS: Perhaps.

#5: Maybe!

DS: No.

#5: Yes!

DS: Stop!

#5: Go!

DS: Please!  
#5: Pretty!

DS: (Subject #5)!

#5: Blackfire!

DS: Wait! Wait! Wait!

#5: Haha. I win, do I not? I win! You had to resort to using a word more than once.

DS: Um, that's, uh, that's right. You uh you win the word associations game. I didn't even know a patient could 'win' the game, before this. I didn't even think it was a contest but you won.

#5: Haha. That is funny friend Silberman. I like funny people. They are well regarded in many galaxies. You remind me of a man.

DS: What man?

#5: The man with the power

DS: What power?

#5: The power of the hoodoo.

DS: Hoodoo?

#5: You do.

DS: Do what?

#5: Remind me of a man!

DS: What man?

#5: The man with the power.

DS: What power?

#5: The power of the hoodoo.

DS: What-? No! Wait! Wait. We're . . we're going around in circles now.

#5: Haha! But it is most fun isn't it? Hoodoo is the comedy for which Rigell7 is famous. You would be very good on Rigell7!

DS: I would, you think?

#5: Oh yes. A zingmorp, a fulfor and a grathmy walk into a bar. The grathmy says to the bartender-

DS: With-with all due respect, I don't think I'll get the joke. I-

#5: but you have not even heard the joke. The grathmy says to the bartender, boy I could use a-

DS: Look, please, I"m sorry to interrupt. I-I apologize but I don't know what those words mean. Besides, which, we're getting a little far off topic.

#5: Oh, but everyone likes the good joke. In the Teen Titans, we fight the criminals and the villains and train quite hard but there is still much time to fill and everyone likes to make the jokes back and forth. Sometimes we make very funy jokes about each other, especially about friend (Subject #1). Everyone likes to make fun of the person commanding them. Some of the jokes about him are quite funny.

DS: Such as?

#5: Well . . . friend (Subject #6) once said that a lump of coal up his butt would come out a diamond.

DS: Ha ha. (Subject #1) doesn't mind (Subject #6) making fun of him like that?

#5: Not friend (Subject #6). He is his crengriff.

DS: I don't know what that means. Tell me what that means.

#5: Hmm. A crengriff, in earth words-

DS: In english-

#5: Yes, in english. A crengriff, in english, is the one person with whom a very stern person relaxes. Friend (Subject #6) is (Subject #1)'s crengriff. Sometimes I think he is a wonderful influence on our leader. But other times I am not so sure.

DS: Why is that?

#5: On Tamaran, we have a saying that a falzinth's crengriff may make a falzinth a molloprawn or more threndrak. So true, yes?

DS: _(Sighs)_ I . . . again. I'm sorry, but again, you're-you're using words that you must realize I have no idea what they mean.

#5: Hmm. A person speaking the english might say that a stern leader's sole friend may lead him away from sternness or he may make it easier for him to be stern with everyone else. Do you think that is the case friend Silberman?

DS: Perhaps. Some people only have so much openness in them.

#5: Sometimes I think that is what happens in our team. The (Subject #6) is friendly with (Subject #1) and his friendliness allows friend (Subject #1) to be completely dedicated at all other times.

DS: You sound ambivalent about that.

#5: What is the ambivalent?

DS: It means that you feel two different emotions at the same time. In this case, happy for (Subject #1) that he has such a good friendship with (Subject #6) but perhaps sad that it makes him comfortable enough to not feel he has to open up more.

#5: Oh. You mean Pantharg. Yes, I am pantharg about this. Though it is natural. I knew immediately that they would be good friends though my teammates could not see it. And friend (Subject #6) does have orange hair, after all. Hehe. Though I do not mean to say that he and friend (Subject #1) are . . . not that there would be the anything wrong with that.

DS: Um, okay.

#5: (Subject #6) is not that sort of orange hair. (Titans East member) is that sort of slutty boy. Haha! Every pole and every hole, as friend (Subject #2) says about him.

DS: Um, back up a second please . . . . . . . No! No! Leave your chair wear it is. I-"

#5: Friend Silberman, please be more precise in what you say.

DS: I-I meant, go back in your words. Is there something about orange hair that means something on your planet, Tamaran.

#5: Yes. It means a grolt zark and great dorneff. Mmm, hmm. Yes!

DS: _(Sighs)_ You . . you did it again. How-how am I supposed to know what that means?

#5: Oh, I am sorry friend Silberman. I forgot that you are so much more ignorant than I am. On Tamaran, it is known that having orange hair means that a young man has an exceptionally large penis and along with being good company in every circumstance, is extremely good at using his penis to bring others pleasure.

DS: um . . .

#5: Though, the (Subject #6) is most in love with the (Subject #7) and does not use his zark to give (Subject #1) or any other boy pleasure. But, as I said, (Titans East member) on the other hand, is quite the slutty boy, haha, who will bring dorneff to most anyone. Each time I meet him I see the emotional imprints of many others on him.

DS: The emotional imprints?

#5: Yes. We Tamaranians are very much centered around our emotions and are very perceptive of them and significant emotions felt by others. Many Tamaranians can tell just from looking at a person when the last time was that that person, um, let's see, the earth phrase would be, um, yes, made love, the last time that person made love and who it was with.

DS: Really? You're not serious?

#5: Yes.

DS: What about me?

#5: Hmm. Well, let's see. Hmm. It was . . not recently. It was . . . it was with . . . your wife and . . . it was . . . twen-ty . . no, twenty . . . six earth days ago. That is right, yes?

DS: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . um . . . enough about me. Let's-

#5: Oh, I am sorry. You are the embarassed. I did not mean to create that.

DS: No, I'm fine.

#5: I am sorry. On Tamaran we are much more relaxed about the sex than people are here on earth. Friend (Titans East member) being a slutty boy who uses his zark with both the boys and the girls would not be considered a bad thing on Tamaran, especially because he makes both the boys and the girls very happy. He would be most quite highly esteemed on Tamaran, to be a hero and warrior and one bringing so much pleasure to so many. So very many. Very . . very many.

DS: Um, well, we, um, we really should focus on you.

#5: Alright. Well, I had much of the sex with (Subject #1), perhaps 40 times, yes, and it was quite good. I have not had the sex with friend (Subject #6) though I would be open to it. He has the orange hair and is a most friendly person with the very prominent buttocks. Yes. Very prominent. But he has never asked, though, as friend (Subject #7) and he enjoy each other's bodies as much as is possible. (Titans East member) is cute, though his buttocks are not as prominent as (Subject #6)'s and he is emotionally unsettled.

DS: No, I-I didn't mean to just talk about you sexually. Are-are you happy with your life in the Teen Titans? You said that Tamaranians are very emotional. Does that cause you any problems with the group?

#5: Well, it did not help the relationship with the (Subject #1) and the (Subject #4) is always making the wisecracks under her breath but I cannot change how I am and I must do my best to be a good comrade. My powers are emotionally based. The only way for me to fly or to throw starbolts is to trigger my powers with the emotions. I cannot be like (subject #4) and have my powers work and I must have them work. Because it is the most important thing to be a good teammate, a good comrade.

DS: Is that how people feel on Tamaran?

#5: Oh yes. We are a warrior people. And being the good comrade to your fellow warriors is one of the most important things in life. It is one of the reasons I like being a Titan perhaps even more than being on Tamaran.

DS: Why is that?

#5: Because on Tamaran, I am a princess. I do not have many . . . what is the earth word? Peers?

DS: Yes.

#5: Only my sister Blackfire. And she and I do not . . . we do not get along very well. Somehow, no matter how I try to be nice to her Blackfire sees any kindness as a weakness and an invitation for her to take advantage of me. She has visited earth three times since I have been here and tried to take advantage of me twice.

DS: What happened the other time?

#5: She spent a weekend engaging in the exotic sexual acts with (Titans East member), as I said, he is quite the slutty boy. She was most pleasant that time. But, afterward, she was introduced to the (Subject #6). I believe she intended to go from one orange haired earth boy to another only (Subject #6) was not interested and (Subject #7) threatened to hex her ass into your planet's sun if she did not leave its orbit within a period of 10 seconds. I had not known that Blackfire could fly quite that fast. It was most impressive.

DS: Have your relations with your sister always been less than you would wish?

#5: Sadly, that is true, friend Silberman.

DS: Did the two of you ever consider seeing a psychiatrist? Do you have this sort of thing on Tamaran?

#5: Yes. There are sort of . . psychiatrists . . on Tamaran but it is considered very shameful.

DS: Really? You said that people on your planet are much more comfortable with their sexuality but they aren't comfortable with the idea of a psychiatrist?

#5: No. It is considered shameful.

DS: Why? Why should it be shameful for a Tamaranian to see a psychiatrist?

#5: Oh, no. You have misunderstood me. It is not considered something of which the person who sees the psychiatrist should be ashamed. It is considered a horrible black mark on his comrades and his friends. They are supposed to comfort their comrade. They are supposed to help their comrade. They are supposed to help their friend. Why did they not help him? They failed him. They did not talk to him like good comrades and so he has to talk to a complete stranger to become well again. They failed. Being a warrior means often being isolated in difficult circumstances with only your teammates or comrades. It is considered a matter of honor on Tamaran that all your teammates are healthy and of sound mind. It means you have been a good comrade and helped them deal with the difficult issues of battles and the inevitable losses and injuries that come with them. No, if a Tamaranian seeks the help of a psychiatrist, he tries to keep it secret so that his comrades will not be laughed at and derided as poor comrades and therefore poor warriors.

DS: That's . . . that's different than the way things are here.

#5: Yes. But, I try to enjoy the earth things that are different and which I like and not dwell too much on those which I do not like.

DS: Such as?

#5: Well, I am sorry, friend Silberman, but the refusal to accept that a hero like friend (Subject#2) was, as always, being a hero, is disappointing. A spotless record of honor is revered on Tamaran. And that's what friend (Subject #2) has. It is . . most disappointing that this seems to have no weight in this process.

DS: As I have told your teammates, (Subject #5), I'm only trying to do the job that was assigned me by the court, to determine if you're a danger to yourself or anyone else.

#5: How would that be? I am a Teen Titan. I help the people.

DS: It-it could be the case or a significant risk of being true if you were not mentally stable or in control of your powers.

#5: But I have always kept control of my powers, haven't I? You see, I have quite good control of my powers.

_( Subject #5 suddenly levitated into the air and tossed a green ball of energy back and forth from one hand to the other)_

DS: Yes. You have.

#5: And I do not seem to be the mentally unstable, do I?

DS: No, in your own relentlessly cheerful way, you seem to be quite stable.

#5: Haha, friend Silberman, you remind me of a man.

DS: What man?

#5: The man with the power.

DS: What power-oh god not again


	7. Starfire evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

STARFIRE

The subject was one of the original five Teen Titans. In fact, I believe it was the incident of her escaping from captivity by another extra-terrestrial race which caused the formation of the team. She stands six feet tall and weighs 135 pounds. She is approximately 18 years old. There is much about her of which we cannot be absolutely certain. She professes to be a princess from the planet Tamaran in the Rigell galaxy.

This issue, her provenance, is central to this evaluation. If we do not accept her version of her origins, then she is acting out a delusion. I would have no alternative but to find that a person acting out a delusion is an imminent danger to herself and the general public. But, the authorities on such matters, S.T.A.R. Labs and the Justice League accept her version of who she is. Furthermore, her appearance and abilities buttress that case. The subject has golden skin, purple-red hair and unusually large eyes. She is almost illogically strong for her slender figure and also has the ability to fly and throw "starbolts", powerful green balls of energy.

So, for the initial determination of this evaluation, I have accepted that the subject, the Teen Titan known as "Starfire" is, in fact, an extra-terrestrial. But this initial determination necessarily calls into question how effective any further evaluation of the subject can be.

Standards of right and wrong, norms of reasonable behavior by which we judge aberrant behavior are, unavoidably, those of people from earth with our physical constitution and its relation to our minds. And, as much as our cultures vary, there are many common threads running through most every culture here on earth. Someone from another planet could quite innocently behave in a fashion deemed utterly normal on her own world but from which behavior we infer instability of mind.

That said, the subject seems to invariably behave in a fashion consistent with all our standards of propriety as well as right and wrong. A warrior code of honor is prevalent on her planet which seems quite consistent with life as a Teen Titan. The ethical standards of right and wrong inculcated in her on her planet appear to be very similar to those expected of the Titans. The subject seems to be of at least average intelligence and understands our language with no difficulty. Though she is very emotional, I found no record in either her police file or a Nexis database search of any instance of her acting rashly due to uncontrolled emotion. I find no record of her ever committing a crime or harming an innnocent person. Rather, it seems that the subject uses her emotions as a catalyst to activate her powers and respond to the danger at hand.

Subject has one known blood relative, a sister from whom she is estranged, a condition about which the subject expresses regret, again evincing a framework of ethical thought consistent with our best standards. Subject seems to feel sincere empathy for the unfortunate and downtrodden. Subject seems to have achieved mature adult perspective and subject appreciates subtle moral distinctions.

Subject's power is threefold. As explained above, she is incredibly strong, has the power of flight from a sort of levitation or mental ability, and is able to create and throw powerful balls of energy at opponents. She does not seem to have any particular weakness in the application of her powers.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a condition that may affect his outlook or judgement. But the subject's Tamaranian physical nature is such that evaluating any of her body's systems against established earth norms simply cannot be done.

This office became aware that as part of a series of S.T.A.R. Labs evaluations of the full and auxiliary members of the Teen Titans a physical evaluation of the subject, Starfire was conducted. As part of this office's due diligence in performing evaluations, a request was made to S.T.A.R. Labs for any data that could be released regarding the subject's physical condition and any possible effect it may have upon her state of mind.

As with previous requrests for data, S.T.A.R. Labs responded with a declaration that data concerning patients would not be shared and was protected by the same doctor-client privilege as psychological information. The full and total sharing of data by S.T.A.R. Labs was the following:

"Starfire:

age: approximately 18 years old

height: six feet

weight: 135 pounds

Starfire does not suffer from any physical ailment affecting her mind."

With the caveat that a psychiatrist's standards of evaluation were not developed for application to individuals not of this earth, in my best judgement, I find that the subject, Starfire, of the Teen Titans does not constitute a danger to herself or others.


	8. A session with Raven

Author's note: Again, just as a reminder, this is about a series of court ordered psychological evaluations of the Titans. As part of the negotiation about what the record of those evaluations would be, Robin had the City's representatives agree that, rather than debate about which names should be blacked out and which could be left in, no names would be used in the transcripts of the sessions with the court appointed psychiatrist, David Silberman. None, not even that of the Titan speaking in each particular session. So, each Titan is identified as Subject #-. Robin=Subject #1, Cyborg=Subject #2, Beast Boy=Subject #3, Raven=Subject #4, Starfire=Subject #5, Kid Flash=Subject #6, Jinx=Subject #7.

**

**

_19 May 2008_

_(In preparation for my evaluations session with (subject #4) I tried to gather as much information as possible. But the available data was frustratingly sketchy and consisted, in large part, of speculation. She seldom speaks in public, almost always defering to (Subject #1) or one of the others at ceremonies at City Hall and the like. She was about to speak once after the Titans had defeated Plasmus. The 12 second video clip was included in her file. Cyborg and Starfire can be seen at the edge of the shot pushing a reluctant (Subject #4) toward the local TV station anchorwoman set to interview her live. The bleached blond woman spoke into her microphone smiling at the camera and said "Thanks Bob! I'm here in Jump City's warehouse district with Crow, of the Teen Titans. Crow and her teammates have just defeated the villain Plasmus and . . . " the anchorwoman's mouth then dropped open as (Subject #4) simply disappeared from the scene as a black astral image. _

_Crow?! _

_This did not help her overcome her reluctance to do interviews. I found that she subsequently refused interviews with Oprah Winfrey and just about every magazine targeted at a young female audience. On the few occasions when she has spoken, it always seemed to be in a sort of sarcastic deadpan voice. The Mayor of Jump City jammed a microphone in her face at one City Hall ceremony. _

_"Doesn't this outpouring of affection from the citizens of Jump City make you feel wonderful, um, (Subject #4) is it?"_

_"Yay . . . . . . . . . Go Jump . . . . . . . . . . might . . as well . . . . . . . . . . Jump?"_

_The voice had been so completely devoid of emotion, so perfectly deadpan. It seemed to offend the mayor but the kids in the audience all cracked up. Oddly enough, her reticence and lack of playing the game, as it were, had only made her more beloved in certain parts of Jump City society. My daughter says there are three different girls in her class who affect a goth style and who absolutely adore (Subject #4). She's a sort of a role model to them. _

_But exactly who and even what she is no one can say. I requested her file from Captain Doyle, the Metahuman Control officer at the Jump City police department. She handed it to me with a sort of a chuckle. "That one? She might be the most dangerous one of all. Be damn sure you figure out what the hell's going on inside the head of that one."_

_But the 2 inch thick file she handed me didn't do much to help me. It was all clippings and bits of video from battles the Teen Titans have had. Reports were sketchy about many of their fights, as well. I have to admit that I snickered at the rumor of one in which the criminal Mumbo had turned her into a talking rabbit and (Subject #1) into a little monkey. As near as they could tell, she has some sort of ability to fly and she also has a sort of telekinesis power where she conjures up fists and other shapes of some sort of black energy and fights villains with them. _

_There was a lot of speculation in the file, a lot of quoting people who seemed to be spouting off arbitrarily. One priest was quoted calling her some sort of satanist and claimed that you could always find a pentagram wherever she had been. There was no corroboration of this accusation. Another claim was that she's not from this planet. A third was that she's part demon and part of some greater plan for a takeover of the earth. Again, there was no corroboration for any of these crazy allegations._

_I also found, in the file, a transcript of a pitiful confession from the villain known as "Dr. Light" begging the Jump City Police to protect him from her, an apparently tearful confession accompanied, according to the officers present, by this "Dr. Light" wetting his pants each and every time the name "(Subject #4)" was mentioned in his presence._

_Fearsome and mysterious. That's (Subject #4). I knew I had my work cut out for me. I didn't know if the standard template of expectations was even applicable to (Subject #4) or how to conduct an evaluation of her. At least with (Subject #5) I knew what the reason was that she would be an unusual subject._

_As I rode the boat launch across the bay to Titans Tower I had resolved to do the best I could without any preconceived notions of how this would go and follow the clues the subject gave me. I made my way up the stone steps to the glass front door and pressed the buzzer. Just as I did, (Subject #7) came around the corner. laughing, immediately followed by (Subject #6) who wrapped his arms around her from behind. They seemed like the very picture of a young couple in love. Then they turned and saw me and both their smiles went away and they adopted wary expressions. It did not feel good to think that they regard me that way. _

_(Subject #6) let me in and they both rode up in the elevator with me, one red gloved hand clasped firmly around one of hers. They glanced back and forth a couple times. I'm not sure exactly what they were saying to each other with those glances. _

_But just before the elevator stopped, she turned to me and asked, "Who're you going to defame today?"_

_I think I saw the red gloved hand squeeze hers more tightly. I protested that I didn't intend to 'defame' anyone. I added that I was going to have an evaluation session with (Subject #4)._

_(Subject #6) looked slightly worried at what his wife would do when she held up a hand to stop him in his tracks in the hallway approaching the usual room and then patted his rear telling him to move along past that door. She led me into the usual room and then closed the door behind us. _

_"Look," she began, "(Subject #4) used to be my enemy, my rival, nemesis, whatever you want to call it. When I was on the villain side of things, there was no one on the Titans I wanted to beat more than her. So, when I tell you this, I'm not some goody goody spokeswoman for (Subject #4) blowing smoke up your butt. She makes a constant and tremendous effort to control her powers so that she never hurts anyone. Meditation. Researching new spells. Extra-dimensional expeditions. The works. And she does a great job of it. If you think she's a danger to anyone, then you're the one who needs some serious psychological evaluation, okay?" _

_I forget what I mumbled in response to this. I had to remind myself how deeply the Titans all (with the exception of Subject #5 who seems incapable of it) mistrusted me._

_(Subject #7) exited the room and I was left alone for a few minutes. I was fidgeting with my recorder and note pad when a black apparition, a sort of vaguely bird shaped thing of almost tangible energy floated softly down from the ceiling to the seat across from me and then suddenly materialized into (Subject #4)._

_She looked at me warily from beneath her hooded cloak and nodded slightly. I turned on the recorder._

DS: This session takes place starting at . . 2:07 P.M. on May 19, 2008 with Dr. David Silberman and . . .

#4: (Subject #4)

DS:Would you, um, would you mind please pulling down your hood? I need to see your face as you speak.

_(Subject #4 complied with a sigh. With her hood down I could see that she's a strikingly attractive young woman with large eyes and light gray skin, much like (Subject #7), purple hair and a small red gem on her forehead. She had an air about her of intensity but very much introverted, in contrast to (Subject #7)'s energy which was very much that of an extrovert. She spoke, almost always in a deadpan, sarcastic tone of voice )_

#4: For the, um, record, I want to say that it's farcical that all this effort is being made because someone actually thinks (Subject #2) is or ever was a danger to anything other than loose bolts on the T-Car.

DS: I'm not supposed to divulge what's said to me in a session such as this but I think I can tell you that your teammates have all said similar things and I'll tell you what I told them. I'm just doing the job I was hired to do by Jump City.

#4: Which is to . . determine if we're . . dangerous?

DS: Dangers to yourselves and the general public. It's different.

#4: How?

DS: Well, you all have incredible powers. You're all-

#4: Not all of us.

DS: Um, yes, I guess that's true. But you're all incredibly capable fighters. You're all incredibly dangerous to criminals. It's my job to determine if you're in control of yourselves, if your state of mind allows you to control your powers or . . fighting abilities. Do you have control of those abilities or powers? Are you in your right mind. Is your state of mind stable? There's just one problem.

#4: What's that?

DS: It may be improper to judge some of you by the standards applied to average people. For instance, (Subject #5) is from another planet. How should we apply normal psychological standards to her?

#4: With . . a whole lot more perkiness?

DS: Yes, she's very . . upbeat.

#4: No. (Subject #6) is upbeat. She's way beyond that.

DS: . . . yes. She is. But perhaps that's just her background. Speaking of which, I have to say that I tried to find out about your background before this session but even your Jump City Police file couldn't shed any light on it.

_(long pause)_

#4: Um, I'm french.

_(long pause)_

#4: Alright. Alright. I had to try. In the movies it seems to explain anything. But it's even worse than that, actually.

DS: Go ahead.

#4: This all stays with you, right? It won't go into any police file for that crazy Captain Doyle to spread around?

DS: Please. I'm a psychiatrist. Anything divulged in a session with me is confidential. I have a professional code of ethics to uphold.

_(long pause)_

#4: Okay. Here goes. I'm from a place called Azarath. It's . . in another dimension.

DS: Another dimension?

#4: Yes, one seldom accessible to this one even if you can create the necessary singularity to allow conveyance.

DS: Another dimension?

#4: Yes, another dimension. Don't look so skeptical. It's not a common thing but . . well, for instance, (Subject #6) gets his speed from another dimension. I've traveled across dimensional boundaries a couple times. He's an open door to another dimension 24-7. That's what he is. He's a dimensional portal. His whole . . body. That's much weirder than me. But he wears cheerful colors so . . .

DS: How did you get here?

#4: Well . . . I'm not quite certain. But the prophecies did say that I would be transported to another dimension upon reaching a certain age and that that's where my father the demon would go.

(long pause)

#4: You're, uh, you're supposed to react a little more than that. I said 'my father the . . demon' . . . .

DS: I-I heard you. I just wasn't sure what to say. You're father is a demon from this . . Azarath place?

#4: Well, not just Azarath. He tends to pillage a lot of different places. Papa was a rolling stone. That sort of thing.

DS: Who-who's your mother?

#4: My mother is a woman from earth. I'm half earthling.

DS: And you get your powers, spells and telekinesis, from your father?

#4: Um, yeah. It kind of eliminated the need for a paternity test.

DS: In this-this other . . dimension, were there a lot of others like you, who had powers like you?

#4: No. But then there aren't a lot of fathers like Trigon.

DS: That's your father, the, uh, demon's name, Trigon?

#4: You got it.

DS: Did you . . did you see much of him in . . Azarath?

#4: No. He was more of a feared legend in Azarath.

DS: Did they fear you in Azarath?

#4: No, they didn't really fear me because the prophecies said that I'd be used so that Trigon could get to this dimension and that he'd kill every living thing and being here. Azarath wasn't really on the concert tour schedule. They showed me the t-shirt and everything.

DS: You . . you keep joking about this.

#4: Laugh or cry.

DS: Your-your father is going to kill every living thing in this dimension?

#4: Well, that was the plan. That's what the prophecies said. And I was somehow transported to this dimension, to earth as foretold but when Trigon tried to come through we stopped him.

DS: Your father the demon already tried to kill everything and everyone?

#4: Um, yeah. But the Titans stopped him.

DS: I-I didn't see anything about that in the file.

#4: I don't think half of the things we do are ever publicized or known about by the police.

DS: So . . you lived your whole childhood being told that you would be part of your father killing untold billions of people? What was that like?

#4: Yeah, um, kind of a downer.

DS: But . . how did you deal with that? It must have been a terrible sense of guilt.

#4: . . . . . . . . . yes. It-it has been.

DS: Even though you didn't do anything to deserve it.

#4: . . . . . . . . correct

DS: Do you think that prompted you to want to be a hero, to try to do some good to make up for what everyone told you you would be a part of?

#4 _(Sighs)_ Yes. But, really, there's not a single one of us who had anything like a 'good' childhood. You have to be pretty driven to do this sort of thing.

DS: But it didn't come true. So now are you . . free?

#4: That's one way to look at it. That's what the other Titans all tell me. Of course, we didn't kill Trigon. We just stopped him. But the fact that we were able to stop him works against his succeeding being a logical necessity.

DS: Right. Right.

_(long pause)_

DS: And that also means that . . . . after you were somehow transported here, to our dimension, to earth, you were-you were being a hero even though you were convinced that everthing was going to be destroyed at any time by your father?

#4: Um . . yeah.

DS: In one sense, that seems even more admirable, that you were helping others have even just a little more time without pain or suffering.

#4: Or it was the stupidest waste of time ever. You know, I never quite settled on one or the other.

DS: But you acted as a hero. So, you did settle on one.

#4: . . . . I couldn't just sit there . . even if it was pointless.

DS: Do you feel more optimistic now? I mean, if you can win, then it's not pointless.

#4: Maybe. It-it doesn't change much. Even if you're told things are fated to be a certain way, you act as though you have complete free will in the matter and everything is yet to be determined. Maybe it's just predetermined that we'll act as though we have free will.

DS: Do you really believe that?

_(long pause)_

#4: No. But it still doesn't change much. I still have to control my powers.

DS: Is it difficult for you to control your powers?

#4: Not as long as I do my meditation and keep my emotions in check.

DS: How often do you meditate?

#4: Every day. At least an hour, minimum. Preferably three. My powers come from my father's side. His abilities are rage based. If I could only feel happyhappyhappy like (Subject #5), letting my emotions go would not be much of a worry. But things don't work like that.

DS: Do you . . do you worry about the riske in trying for positive emotions, that if things turn out badly it'll only increase the negative ones?

#4: Of course. What the hell did you think I was telling you?

DS: Sorry. Sorry. So . . I mean . . a . . relationship? Would that be out?

#4: _(Sighs)_ No. Not that it matters much. I just have the worst luck ever with guys. If (Subject #7) had focused all her bad luck on me in one of our fights when she was on the other side, she couldn't have made things turn out much worse.

DS: How so?

#4: Well, I was nagged for years by little (Subject #3). He was always trying to get it on with me. There were always green fleas and green flies and green moths trying to sneak under my door. I didn't have the heart to just reject him conclusively, not till last year. I just couldn't take it any more. And then almost as soon as I do, he grows 8 inches taller, his annoying voice changes and his looks become so much better that he's in those car ads. You've seen 'em. Green can be beautiful. The ones for the hybrid or electric. I forget which.

DS: Ah, yes. I've seen those.

#4: He was even the leader of our comeback against the Brotherhood of Evil. (Subject #3)! My only consolation there is that he's turned into a bit of an obnoxious playboy now that he's such a pretty boy.

DS: Really.

#4: _(Chuckles slightly)_ He'll get over it. But he's so full of his pretty boy self right now. We went to a performance by (female Justice League magician), all of us, and she brought all the guys onto the stage one by one and turned them into animal assistants. She turned him into a peacock. It was perfect. Anyway, let's see, besides rejecting (Subject #3) just before he grew up in every way, I fell in love with a wizard in a book who turned out to actually be a dragon. Then I thought I might be able to have a relationship with (Subject #1) before realizing that he's barely emotionally available enough to have a friendship with (Subject #6) and even then it only works because it's (Subject #6). Then I developed a crush on (Titans East member) only to find that he's in a romantic relationship with (Titans East member). And to top it all off, my room here is next to the one shared by (Subject #6) and (Subject #7). So, I get to see the one guy who I think is attractive enough, well, more than just enough. That body in that suit! And emotionally available. And intelligent. He and (Subject #7) sit in bed reading when they're not doing it all over the Tower. The one guy . . . and he's totally in love with my former rival. If (Subject #7) tells me some day that she cast a spell to give me nothing but bad luck in romance, I won't bat an eyelash.

DS: I'm sorry things haven't gone better. But you're young and pretty-

#4: with . . gray skin and purple hair.

DS: Not so odd among boys with orange hair and green skin and girls with pink hair. And there are a lot of other guys out there. It's probably healthier to at least keep trying. A satisfying relationship can be very healthy for the psyche.

#4: . . . . . . You don't have to tell me. I've seen what it can mean. The difference in (Subject #7) from when we first encountered her to now is amazing. She was nearly psychotic then. She's so calm and confident now, with (Subject #6). I'd like a relationship like that. I want . . a-a . . boyfriend. It just hasn't happened. I have all the same urges any other young woman has.

DS: These . . urges, do they interfere with you controlling your powers?

#4: No. Well, I mean, they eventually might have. I don't think so. But I was feeling a lot of stress. I was under a lot of pressure. I . . I got (Titans East member) to come over and . . . well . . . the pressure was relieved.

DS: Really? That sounds sort of . . I don't know. It sounds sort of like you just used him and didn't even think of it becoming something more.

#4: If . . if you knew about him . . .! The idea of somebody being worried about poor (Titans East member) being used for sex?! My irony meter just broke, doc.

DS: How about friendships?

#4: I'd say I'm various degrees of friends with all the Titans.

DS: Anyone in particular?

#4: I-I almost think I should say 'no' and maybe that is the right answer. I mean, it's not true right now. We have a lot to work past. There are still hard feelings deep down, between me and (Subject #7) I mean. It's been a glacial pace of improvement. And I think we should be better friends. I know I wish we were. She and (Subject #6) have (Titans East member) over sometimes. He's a prince where he comes from and he grew up with all kinds of highbrow culture. And they spend the whole night talking about books and classical music and jazz and and new bands and intellectual controversies and unusual movies and-and it's exactly the sort of thing I want to do. It's exactly where I should be. But there's still this underlying conflict between us. I feel like I don't belong there even though I want to be part of that. I-I hate to say this but we could probably learn a lesson from the boys.

DS: How so?

#4: When (Subject #6) was up for membership, I found out that (Subject #1) hated him. And (Subject #6) hated him right back. I don't know what it was. Anyway, after (Subject #6) joined the team, he went down to (Subject #1')'s room and they hashed things out directly. Just . . bang. Thirty minutes later they were good friends. Just like that. Not a particularly nuanced approach to it. I guess they each just took turns explaining why they thought the other guy was a total asshole. But it worked. (Subject #7) and I keep trying to go around it and avoid it and it just festers instead of dissipating.

DS: That might be the thing to do, address it directly if you constantly feel a distance between you two that shouldn't be there. But be careful. I suspect that (Subject #1) and (Subject #6) may be uniquely suited to hearing such things from someone else and not having it bother them. But let me switch topics a bit and ask you about being a hero, in general. How do you feel about it?

#4: Obviously I like it if I keep doing it.

DS: People do a lot of things out of habit and not wanting to make an effort to reassess and change things.

#4: That's true but I'm not. I feel good when we help people. I wish they'd say 'thank you' more often. I wish we weren't treated as freaks quite so much even though we are freaks. Most of all, I wish it wasn't so necessary. I shouldn't be surprised at anything. But every new bank robber or villain who thinks the way to live life is to hurt other people and take their things still catches me a little off guard. When we formed the Titans I think I half expected that criminals would see how powerful we were and they'd stop. But they didn't. And now we have (Subject #6) and (Subject #7), too, and still people do crazy things, things like tomorrow won't come and other people can be treated as just means to an end.

DS: Is the persistence of criminality taking away from the increased feeling of optimism you should have as a result of seeing that Trigon can be defeated?

#4: That's pretty good, doc. I'd like to be optimistic. People would be shocked to hear me say that.

DS: Because you always project ironic detachment?

#4: . . . . that's-that's really pretty good, doc. (Subject #6) actually used that exact phrase with me the other day.

DS: It can be a defense mechanism, ironic detachment can, protecting you from people and things around you by never bringing them close. And it can be a sort of negative prophecy of things.

#4: Annnnnnd you're going to warn me about the power of self fulfilling prophecies?

DS: Maybe not warn you, but bring it to your attention.

#4: It's not a-a conscious thing. I kept people at a distance, initially, because of what the prophecies said I would be a part of.

DS: You didn't want to hurt them. And maybe you didn't feel good enough to be with them, considering the guilt you were carrying around.

#4: I . . _(sighs)_ . . I suppose there was some of that. It did neatly dovetail with my need to meditate to control my powers and spend time looking for spells that would help me.

DS: That's fine. I'm not reproaching you. But you have to be aware of the great power of habits.

#4: Yeah, ,those nun hats-

DS: You know what I mean. You stay away from people for a specific reason and then maybe the reason goes away, but how easy is it to be with people after all that time.

#4: It's-it's not. So, what would you counsel, that I go to the 'mall of shopping' with (Subject #5)?

DS: Huh?

#4: Um, never mind.

DS: What I would suggest are baby steps.

#4: Baby steps?

DS: If you really want to break out of certain ways, try doing something small that's different and work your way up to whatever level of change feels right to you. There's nothing wrong with wading into the shallow end of the pool. No one's required to dive into the deep end.

_(long pause)_

#4: There's only so much that can change in my life but I do feel the pleasure of being social. We had a girl's night out for the ocasion of Jinx's bachelorette party. There were 9 of us. Maybe the mix of auras was just right. I don't know. But it was . . it was fun. I-I had a good time. I was surprised at how good a time I had.

DS: Can you allow for such things more often while still doing what you feel you need to do to control your-your powers?

#4: I-I guess but I don't know how to create things like that. (Titans auxiliary member) set it all up. She's (Subject #7)'s friend.

DS: Well, I'm not here to tell you what to do. My job is just to see if your mental state is such that you present a danger to yourself or the general public. If in the course of talking to you I can serve as a sounding board and suggest a few things to you, all the better. Just consider breaking out of habits is all I suggest that you do. Now, if I could shift gears one more time, tell me about a typical day for you.

#4: Alright. Um, I probably stayed up till 2:30 a.m., meditating from midnight onward, especially if it's either a full or empty moon, seeking congruence with forces from different dimensions. After sleeping till 9 or so, I get up, go to the kitchen and have some tea and perhaps some other breakfast. I endure (Subject #3)'s terrible jokes and his inevitable fight with (Subject #2) about eating meat or being a vegetarian. There's about an even money chance that there will also be an argument between (Subject #1) and (Subject #6) about whether the Bats or the Flashes fight tougher villains or whose mentor is more important to the Justice League. You would not believe how often they've recycled the same damn argument. (Subject #5) will says something silly and perky and (Subject #7) will sort of roll her eyes at it but she and I won't quite make true eye contact because we each think the other still harbors serious ill will. I might spend the late morning with the team doing some sort of training. (Subject #1) is very big on training, though (Subject #3) and (Subject #6) always make him seem like one of the guys from the jerk pledge house in Animal House for his obsession about it. (Subject #1) always tries to keep (Subject #3) and (Subject #6) apart because they make fun of him whenever they're together. But he can never manage it for long. I have some more tea and a bit to eat for lunch. In the afternoon, I research spells or do pleasure reading. Of course, if at any time a call comes in, we all scramble to answer it. For dinner, usually (Subject #7) cooks. She's amazing. Sometimes (Subject #5) cooks and . . well . . her cooking is not amazing. Sometimes (Subject #6) is in charge. He doesn't ever really cook but he runs here and there around the planet and comes back with incredible takeout from Beijing or Bombay or Rome or Paris. He's pretty handy that way. At night, well, we try not to plan much for the evenings. There seem to be a lot more calls that come in after dark. I mostly read and check out things in old spell books.

DS: Is it an enjoyable life? Could you see yourself doing this for a long time?

#4: I-um-well-what I mean, I . . um . . yes. I-I could. But I would want things to move forward in my . . in my personal life.

DS: Perfectly understandable. Do you think you'll develop better control of your powers?

#4: Of course. I have much better control of my powers than I did when I first became a Titan even though they're much more developed now. But, um, I-I had made a mental not before coming in here. I wanted to ask youto confirm something, you have no record of my ever harming any innocent person, do you?

DS: No. I find no record of your ever harming any innocent person in the file. And you're how old?

#4: Approximately 18 earth years. Where I lived on Azarath, a circuit around our sun was about the equivalent of 12 years here. I think I'm 18. And I've been here since I was 13.

DS: And you've never harmed yourself, have you?

#4: I occasionally crack myself up and I've isolated myself, but no, I've never really harmed myself.

DS: _(Sighs)_ Fine. Why don't we stop there.


	9. Raven evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

RAVEN

The subject was one of the original five Teen Titans. She stands five feet seven inches tall and weighs 130 pounds. She is approximately 18 years old. Even she is not certain of her exact age as she professes to have come here from Azarath, a country in another dimension. I, of course, cannot confirm this but I also know of no reason to doubt her. I spoke to personnel at S.T.A.R. Labs and sent an email to the Justice League. Both organizations say that they accept this account of her origins.

This issue, her place of birth, is relevant because there is a very real question as to whether it is appropriate to apply standards of behavior and thought, of state of mind developed for people from this country and Jump City to such a person. At some point in dealing with metahumans of unusual origin, the issue of which standards are appropriate to apply to which subject will have to be considered. As yet, there is scant discussion of this issue in any of the peer reviewed journals of this profession.

However, this question becomes a moot point because I find that the subject is a fine example of a heroine and that she adheres to all the highest standards of behavior.

The subject has very light gray skin, and purple hair. She is a proficient fighter but primarily engages opponents through the use of telekinetic forms such as shields and giant fists which she is able to form from black energy that she conjures through some combination of the use of incantations and innate physical ability. She is also able to fly and can pass through solid objects by transforming herself into a sort of astral image of her body. The combination of her abilities is extremely powerful, causing at least one villain the Teen Titans fought to later wet himself, repeatedly, at the mere mention of her name.

Subject believes that her abilities come to her through her father, a notorious villain in her place of origin, Azarath. As a result, she makes considerable efforts to control her powers to see that she never takes after him. I have scoured the police record and done a nexis database search and was not able to find record of even one incident of the subject harming an innocent person or herself.

Subject is extremely intelligent and appreciates the most subtle moral distinctions. What's more, subject has invariably acted in the finest moral tradition in bearing tremendous burdens to act as a heroine and save the lives of others. Subject seems to feel sincere empathy for the unfortunate and downtrodden. Subject seems to have achieved mature adult ethical perspective. Subject is known for a sarcastic sense of humor but this is perhaps unavoidable when the extremely intelligent and solemn subject is faced with the sometimes inane demands for publicity made of a public figure such as a member of the Teen Titans.

As I have pointed out in other Titans evaluations, the typical evaluation such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a condition that may affect his outlook or judgement. But the subject's physical nature is such that evaluating any of her body's systems against established earth norms simply cannot be done.

This office requested that S.T.A.R. Labs release data on Raven from among the series of physical exams performed on the full and auxiliary members of the Teen Titans. Our intent was to ascertain whether the subject is affected by any ailments which could have a deleterious influence upon her state of mind.

As with previous requrests for data, S.T.A.R. Labs responded with a declaration that data concerning patients would not be shared and was protected by the same doctor-client privilege as psychological information. The full and total sharing of data by S.T.A.R. Labs was the following:

"Raven:

age: approximately 18 years old

height: five feet seven inches

weight: 130 pounds

Raven does not suffer from any physical ailment affecting her mind."

With the caveat that a psychiatrist's standards of evaluation were not developed for application to individuals not of this earth, in my best judgement, I find that the subject, Raven, of the Teen Titans does not constitute a danger to herself or others.


	10. A session with Speedy

Author's note: Finally. I have three more chapters pretty much done including, of course, the last two, but I couldn't get past this one. Anyway, just a reminder. In this story, Robin=Subject #1, Cyborg=Subject #2, Beast Boy=Subject #3, Raven=Subject #4, Starfire=Subject #5, Kid Flash=Subject #6, Jinx=Subject #7

****

20 May 2008

_(This was something I hadn't anticipated, especially after my first few sessions with members of the Titans. They were wary of me or frustrated at the fact that they had to talk to me. But (Subject #8) could have avoided ever dealing with me. The Order of the City Council said that I was to evaluate the Teen Titans living in Titans Tower in Jump City Bay and any auxiliary members present during the time that I conducted my evaluations. But there were no plans to call in auxiliary members from around the globe or to bring Titans East members to Jump City just for psychological evaluations._

_The intent was that no one from Titans East and no other honorary or auxiliary member would be forced to see me. In fact, without saying it, we had essentially agreed that any others whom I didn't happen to bump into in the Tower would be off limits. Then, as I was leaving the Tower after my session with (Subject #4), there was (Subject #8), in his tight red suit, practicing. He was shooting arrows at a target bobbing in the bay at a distance that I guessed was about 500 yards away. He shot arrow after arrow, apparently practicing compensating for wind and current effects. In the few seconds I watched, he hit a target two feet across dead center four times out of five. I supposed it was the sort of thing he would practice but it was curious to me that he hadn't been told to simply stay out of sight a few more minutes. He could have easily avoided me. No one tracks the Titans' comings and goings. I had no idea he was even in the Tower. But, because I'd seen him, by the terms of the city council's order, I was required to schedule a psychological evaluation. I approached him, introduced myself and explained the situation. He was a bit offended but pretty quickly acquiesced. I offered to make myself available for a session the next day so that he wasn't forced to stay in Jump City or to make a return trip for no other reason and he quickly agreed to this. I made my way to the boat launch and back across the bay while (Subject #8) continued to seemingly effortlessly hit a target a in the middle of the bay._

_I considered this apparent coincidence more and suspicions began to grow in my thoughts. They only increased when I got his file from Captain Doyle, the "metahuman control officer" at the Jump City Police Department. It said that (Subject #8) was, in many ways similar to (Subject #1). Along with his incredible ability as an archer, he was renowned as a fighter and tactician, extremely cagey and resourceful. Was it really an accident that he was outside and I saw him thereby requiring him to submit to an evaluation? I wondered._

_I took the usual boat launch to their island and was greeted by (Subject #8) at the door in his usual uniform, all red with eyes concealing mask, a yellow utility belt at his narrow waist, a quiver of arrows over his shoulder and his bow in his right hand. He let me in the front door, the first subject to greet me at the door. _

_I could not help but compare him to his fellow redhead, (Subject #6) and it was instructive. I realized what sort of impression (Subject #6) had made only when thinking of him in comparison to (Subject #8). Where (Subject #6), despite his appearance and physique, projected the air of a boy on his school's math team or a member of the chess club, (Subject #8) was pure big man on campus jock. Everything from how he walked to his facial expressions, typically a lopsided smirk, to how he sat in the chair facing me to his tone of voice was pure alpha male sports star. (Subject #6) I realized, thinking back on it, had carefully entered and exited the elevator so that I didn't look at the back of his suit. (Subject #8) could not have cared less. But, though I suspected that he had allowed himself to be roped into an evaluation session, he seemed to make a pretense of not wanting to be there and after riding up in the elevator to the 6th floor, to the usual room, he put aside his bow and his quiver of arrows and plopped down in the chair opposite me and proceeded to just stare at me for a solid minute through a smirk._

_He's a very handsome young man, slightly taller than (Subject #6) with red hair not quite as bright a color, cut shorter and meticulously styled. According to the information supplied by S.T.A.R. Labs, he stands six feet one and three quarters inches tall and weighs 173 pounds, terrifically well toned though not quite as well as the amazing (Subject #6). It was as though a slender high school all american quarterback or point guard had instead become a crime fighter. (Subject #8) has a bit of the same utterly commanding air about him that (Subject #1) has, part of that same alpha jock presence he has, I suppose but, in his case, with a bit of something else in there, too, not quite the same as (Subject #1). And maybe a bit of something else hard to place, maybe he's a bit of a wiseass, maybe a bit of a playboy. I did catch him looking at his reflection in the stainless steel of the elevator, looking at his reflection and enjoying it._

_I couldn't see his eyes but I could detect some degree of facial expression change as he seemed to mentally go through a series of stages before he finally sighed and nodded to me._

_I turned on the recorder._

DS: This session takes place at . . 2:05 P.M. on May 20, 2008 with Dr. David Silberman and . . .

#8: (Subject #8).

DS: I want to thank you for submitting to this evaluation session.

#8: Hey, it was in the rules.

DS: But I didn't even know you were here.

#8: I'm not trying to cheat.

DS: I didn't say you should. I'm just surprised that you made yourself available the way you did. Your colleagues have not been very enthusiastic about dealing with me.

#8: I didn't say I was enthusiastic. Where'd you get that? Just because I'm not some anal retentive killjoy wearing rastafarian colors doesn't mean I try and cheat.

DS: Fine. Um, your . . uh, your colleagues all paid me a dollar so that they were officially my clients and protected by the doctor client privilege. Do you, uh, do you have a dollar, to make it official?

_(Subject #8 quickly opened a small compartment in his utility belt and produced a dollar which he handed to me.)_

#8: There. Whose idea was that? Bat Mitzvah?

DS: Yup.

#8: He's good for that sort of thing. He's not as good a fighter as he thinks he is but he's a world class secretary. Haha! You want to hit a target the size of a teacup 500 yards away to take out the generator powering Slade's hideout, you need an archer. You want some case files collated? See a little bat.

DS: I see. Um, could you please remove your mask. It really is expected that I be able to look any subject in the eyes.

#8: _(sighs)_ You're gonna make (Subject #1) take his off, too, right?

DS: Of course. The same rules apply.

_(Subject #8 removes his mask)_

#8 There. Okay now?

DS: Yes.

#8: I suppose they told you about me, not that they really understand.

DS: They?

#8: The ones you've already talked to. (Subject #7). (Subject #6). (Subject #5). (Subject #4).

DS: Whether they did or not, I can't say. That would be revealing the confidence of another client. What faith could you have in me if I told you what the other Titans said?

#8: Uh huh. Well. Doesn't matter. I know they talk about me and my interests and what they say.

DS: Do you? What do they say?

_(long pause)_

#8: It doesn't matter. Go ahead, Doc. Evaluate.

DS: Evaluate?

#8: Yeah. Do whatever it is that you do, which, if you don't mind my asking, is what?

DS: Well, it's kind of open ended.

#8: So . . it wasn't the same with all the other Titans?

DS: No. I just want to talk to each of you and get an idea of your state of mind and how aware you are of the ethical considerations of your-your job, how much you're in control of yourselves. But it can take any form. You can use this as a therapy session if you wish.

#8: (Subject #6) did, didn't he?

DS: Why-why do you say that?

#8: I can tell from how you say that that it's true. Isn't it Doc?

DS: I . . I can't tell you about other sessions. That would be unethical.

#8: Fine. Whatever. I know what (Subject #6)'s like. I'm not dissing him. Hell, I envy him, his thing with (Subject #7).

DS: It's more than a 'thing', isn't it? They're married.

#8: I know. But it's not the ring and the ceremony and all that crap it's the-they way they feel. _(long pause)_ And she's so freaking hot. The whole cat-eyed bad girl thing she has going does it for me. It really does it for me. I envy him. But they're a good pair. I mean, look at him. What an awesome physique.

DS: Mmm-hmm?

#8: You met him.

DS: Yes. A couple times in addition to my session with him.

#8: If you did a million crunches and a million lunges, could you get yourself to look like that?

DS: _(Sighs)_ Sadly, no. It might take the first half million just to get in reasonable shape again. Believe it or not, I was on the track team, well, cross country team in college.

#8: _(Laughs)_ No way. Really?

DS: Well, you don't have to seem quite that surprised.

#8: Well, look at you, Doc. What are you, forty five years old-

DS: Thirty eight!

#8: -and five ten . . two fifteen?

DS: I don't weigh two fifteen. I've never weighed over . . two oh eight in my life.

#8: Whatever. What wouldn't you give to look like (Subject #6), to have a body like that so that even wearing that outrageous unitard is no big deal?

DS: He is an incredible specimen. And that . . is a unitard that you're wearing, too, isn't it?

#8: Yeah. I gave in and switched from a two piece. I used to give (Titans East member) and (Subject #6) shit all the time for their suits but I tried it and it really is better. Dance belt and a unitard. It's the way to go.

DS: You guys kid each other back and forth a lot?

#8: Of course. We have to blow off steam. We can't all sublimate our anxieties into typing out case files for kicks. I mean, any one of us could get smoked tomorrow and not just by one of the major leaguers, your Slades or Madame Rouges. Every half wit robbin' a quickie mart's got artillery. All it takes is one lucky shot and one of us could go down. So, I'm not spending my down time typing out weather conditions and barometer readings into the case file of every stupid case we've ever been on. Eventually dedication passes the point of diminishing returns. And when it does, I'm out . . meeting . . all kinds of people and having a good time. But you checked my file, didn't you?

DS: Your police file? Yes.

#8: Is there any negative mark in there at all? I bet there isn't. I give everything on every mission, every call.

DS: The police in both Star City and Jump City speak very highly of you.

#8: Damn fricking right they do. And why not? I always find a way to make things work out right.

DS: Yes, both-both police departments are very impressed with your ingenuity. They were especially amazed at how, last month, you were able to leap off the Jump Bay Bridge and hit all three robbers with concussion arrows and also shoot a parachute arrow up to save yourself. They all thought it was a crazy risk, at first, the files say.

#8: Heh. Piece of cake. It's part of the job. And I answer every call. What I do in my free time is none of Captain Case Files's business.

DS: Is that a source of friction between you and (Subject #1)?

#8: Not just him.

DS: The others give you a hard time for what you do on your own time?

#8: Not-not so much of a hard time but they give off this freak vibe toward me. Like, I'm a freak, but little bat who isn't doing anything since he broke up with (Subject #5), he's normal. (Subject #6) is normal. He chased (Subject #7) even though she was a villain, even though the first time they met she hit him over the head with a sign and knocked him out and then put him in a cage. Try and straighten out the kink in that! First girl he goes with and bam! That's it. But he's normal and Captain Uptight's normal. I'm a freak.

DS: If you don't care about what they say, why would you bring it up?

_(Subject #8 gave me a long hard stare)_

#8: It's all so arbitrary, anyway. Fucking (Subject #1) doesn't enjoy anything or anyone. (Subject #5) is one awesome piece of ass and he just kept playing (Subject #1's Justice League mentor) junior and ignoring her. But he doesn't have any problem. Oh no. Just me. I enjoy people. I appreciate beauty. I know how to have a good time. I'm the one who's the weirdo. How fucked up is that, doc?

DS: Is this why you wanted to talk to me?

#8: Who said I wanted to talk to you?

DS: So, you want me to believe you can figure a way to leap off Jump Bay Bridge and do four different things on the way down but you can't avoid a 38 year old, five foot ten, 208 pound psychiatrist.

#8: I was practicing. I didn't know there was anything up.

DS: The other Titans weren't talking about having to sit down for evaluation sessions with the City's psychiatrist?

#8: (Sighs). Fine. Yeah. They were all talking about it. Alright?! But I wasn't fixated on it just cuz little bat and greenie were so antsy about their upcoming sessions with you. I just went about my business which, contrary to what they think, includes a lot of training in my down time. I train all the time. Targets in the bay are great practice for wind, wave and current compensation in targeting.

DS: Do you have a close friend or a best friend in the group who you can talk to?

_(pause)_

#8: No.

DS: How about-

#8: When I was . . seeing (Titans East member), I could talk to him about anything. But . . . don't give me that look. You don't really have to hold your breath to suppress your shock, do you? That's right. (Titans East member) was my boyfriend.

DS: But you were saying that (Subject #7)'s . . cat eyed . . bad girl look really does it for you?!

#8: It does. Especially since she's been with (Subject #6). She's put on just a little weight so that her ass is nice and full and round now and those little tatas of hers are just a bit more-

DS: But you-you . . dated (Titans East member)?!

#8: Yeah, Doc.

_(Long pause)_

DS: Then . . .

(Long pause)

#8: Is it too complex for you?

DS: No. No. I just . . well, it's . . . unusual.

#8: Well, you are a pro, aren't you? I mean, everything said in here stays in here, same as you said you couldn't tell me what the others were saying about me, right?

DS: Of course.

#8: I told you I envy (Subject #6) and (Subject #7) both of them.

DS: I . . didn't quite catch that you meant it that way. It's . . very unusual.

#8: Yeah. You said that, Doc.

DS: Most of . . well . . a lot of people who say they're . . like you . . are really gay but somehow think it's more acceptable to-

#8: 127 chicks and 122 dudes, Doc.

DS: Huh? You've . . .

#8: 127 and 122, including five hero girls, three hero guys and one villain guy.

DS: Then . . you really are . . .

#8: I appreciate beauty, Doc. I go to Gotham fashion week every year and see all the models in all the shows. It's great.

DS: A-a hundred twenty seven other males and a hundred twenty two females? You're-you're not even twenty yet and you've had . . . ?!

_(Pause)_

DS: Were you always . . . I mean, did you always like both . . ?

#8: Yeah . . I guess . . . it wasn't easy to deal with at first. I was the first boy on the reservation who kissed a girl. I mean the first of all of us around my age. When I went to live with (Justice League mentor), I was the first boy in that rich kid neighborhood to get to second base with a girl. I was the first one to go all the way. I wasn't even 12 yet. They all envied me, all those trust fund boys. And it wasn't fake or going through the motions to impress them or anything. It was real. But . . . at the same time . . there were these . . other feelings . . I . . tried to deny it to myself, what I was was feeling. And I was becoming a hero, so I would focus on that. But I couldn't get rid of these crazy feelings. But there were some incredibly hot teen heroines I might get to meet. So I focused on that, too (laughs) When (Justice League mentor) told me I'd get to go up to the Watchtower satellite and might meet (Female auxiliary member of the Teen Titans), I was stoked. And then I get up there and I'm sharing a room with (Subject #6). And those insane feelings come on stronger than ever. Little fucking (Subject #6)! Such a fricking pretty boy. And that ridiculous little speedster ass of his in that ridiculous skin tight speedster suit! God. I turned it all on him. I was a total asshole to him. I-I made fun of him that whole weekend. I called him a sissy. I called him gay. I made fun of his suit. I-

DS: You didn't want to like him the way you did so you went through the motions of hating him.

_(Pause)_

#8: Yeah. He wasn't even cool. He's a total book nerd. He was then and he still is. But he's a book nerd with a face like that and a body like that and . . god, I hated feeling that pull toward him. So I . .

DS: It's actually very common.

#8: Yeah. I realize that now. If I make a play for a guy and he gets all flustered and offended a certain way and says he doesn't do that, I smile because I know the dude's telling me exactly the opposite of what he's saying.

DS: But you . . . you were able to reconcile yourself to your different . . desires. How?

#8: I don't know what to say, exactly. I couldn't deny it. It wasn't just (Subject #6). I went with (Justice League mentor) to Fashion Week in Gotham and I was mesmerized by both the boys and the girls. I'd go back to our hotel room . . . alone, because (Justice League mentor) was out somewhere trying to score some girl who was on the cover of Vogue and I couldn't stop thinking about her. But I couldn't stop thinking about the dude in the latest Polo ad, either. I tried, kind of half heartedly, to raise the issue with (Justice League mentor) but . . well . . there are a lot better dads out there than him. He rarely put in more than a 'hi, Tiger, how was your day?' with me. There was no way I could just step up that conversation to "Oh yeah, I'm totally into both dudes and chicks'.

DS: So, when did you reach acceptance of . .

#8: It-it wasn't some single blinding moment. I remember asking myself what Brave Bow, back at the reservation, would have said to me. And I then I finally . . well, there was this really cool guy a year older than me. I kind of suspected he was . . interested. And I was right. And it was great. I loved it both ways. I couldn't deny that feeling. And accepting it just kind of . . well, all my anxieties melted away. And I felt free to pursue my desires.

DS: A hundred twenty seven times one way and a hundred twenty two times the other.

#8: _(Chuckles)_ I've pursued a hell of a lot more times than that, Doc. I wish that I'd been successful every time I saw some beautiful chick or some hot guy and put the moves on 'em.

DS: Do some of them shy away from you because they saw you leave with their best friend the night before?

#8: Annnnnnnd her best friend told her that she had the greatest night in bed of her life. Not many shy away from that.

DS: You said 'put the moves on 'em'. That sounds like all you look for is a conquest, not a relationship.

#8: Doc. I'm a young guy. Everything's not part of a fairy tale. Especially with the dudes.

DS: Have you had any long term relationships?

_(pause)_

#8: Only with (Titans East member).

DS: Uh huh.

#8: And I cheated on him the whole time. I . . I couldn't stop. They didn't mean anything to me. It was just . . physical fun.

DS: How many times was it just . . physical fun . . while you were supposed to be committed to him?

#8: Jeez, Doc, I don't know. I might have known at the time.

DS: But you gave me an exact count. A hundred twenty seven and a hundred twenty two. Remember? So, you tally up these encounters and put notches on your bedpost or something?

#8: Doc! It's not like that! I thought you'd question whether I didn't really just go one way or the other. So I started to add up from when I was with (Titans East member) I-I only have an idea now because (Titans East member) and I were fighting and he-he called me a-a Don Giovanni or something like that, some character from an opera. He knows like every opera, ballet or play ever. Masterfish Theater. That's why he's such good friends with (Subject #6) and (Subject #7). They're both book nerds. He gets along great with them. It's why I can't really talk to (Subject #6) about shit any more. I know he looks at me and sees the guy who cheated on princey prince. Well, when princey prince caught me cheating, I told him that the guy, this french model, didn't mean anything to me and somehow that pissed him off even more. Who knows what goes through his head sometimes! But, apparently, there's a happy medium of interest in someone with whom you cheat. At least, according to him there is. He said I was being like this Don Giovanni character and that I probably couldn't even name everyone I'd had sex with.

DS: And could you?

#8: Well . . no, you see. It's not a fair question because I never got the names of some of them. You're in a club and you're dancing and you make eye contact with someone and you go off somewhere and that's it. It's not like you exchange life histories. Anyway. He challenged me to at least identify to the extent I could everyone I'd been with. And I could. From that first girl before I was even 12 to that day. I got all of 'em. I thought that might calm him down but he was like tallying them all up and shook his head in disgust at me and called me a libertarian.

DS: A libertine.

#8: Whatever. He was all freaking out that I'd been with like 80 dudes and 80 chicks. Eighty two! That was the number. Same number of each. I still remember him shouting it at me. Eighty two! Eighty two!! Like it was some kind of tragedy. Eighty two!!! He said I had all the sexual restraint of a donkey. He thought it was real funny when that was what (female Justice League magician) turned me into the time we all went to see her show. Course, she turned princey prince into a frog, haha, so he didn't get off much better. But they all laughed at me. All these people I thought were my friends. Like I was some kind of joke. The symbol of unconstrained lust. That's what (female Justice League magician) said. They all laughed. I thought jackasses were only supposed to be stupid and stubborn.

DS: No, the uncontrolled lust thing is part of the symbolism too.

#8: But they all laughed at me. They kind of looked sorry for princey prince getting turned into a frog and (Subject #6) covering over with fur and getting turned into a cheetah and even Captain Case Files getting turned into a little bat, at least a little sorry. But they all just let loose and laughed at me.

DS: Is this why you wanted to talk to me?

#8: _(Shouting)_ Doc! _(more softly)_ I didn't seek you out.

DS: You just couldn't evade the five foot ten 208 pound guy. Sure.

#8: Doc?! Wh-what is this?

DS: It's just two people talking. But one of 'em can do more for the other if he's honest with him.

#8: I am being honest with you!

DS: Did you think that your friends would think that you were cool for having so many sexual conquests?

#8: No! I didn't . . I don't . . that's-that's not the way I . . . I don't tell anyone else anything! Nothing, Doc!

_(Pause)_

DS: So, you were surprised to see the regard in which your friends held you.

#8: Yeah . . . yeah, Doc. I was. I-I kind of knew they thought of me like that but it still surprised me.

DS: But you've only had that one relationship of any length?

#8: _(Softly)_ Yeah.

DS: And what broke it up was only (Titans East member) not being able to accept your cheating? It wasn't being found out by the others that you were romantically involved with him?

#8: Huh? No! Oh, don't get me wrong. Half the hero community still looks at me like I'm radioactive. It was like that Seinfeld episode. Everyone looks at you with disgust but publicly says 'Not that there's anything wrong with that'. (Justice League mentor) just about shit himself. You're what?! I can only imagine what (Titans East member's Justice League mentor)'s reaction was. He's even more of an over the top, swashbuckling, macho type than (Justice League mentor) if that's possible. But everyone at the Titans and at the League put on a big front of acceptance of me and princey prince. I didn't really care but it was kind of a big deal to him. Both our dads looked enviously at (Subject #6's Justice League mentor). His protege was straight and even risked going out with a villain girl to get his action! He was like double trumping us in their eyes. And our dads had no idea how to talk to each other. It was so funny. Eventually, they started arguing about whose protege must be the one on top.

DS: So, there's a lot of competition among the Justice League members?

#8: Totally. Only it's all kind of unofficial which only makes it worse.

DS: And do others besides (Titans East member) know that you're interested in both young men and women?

#8: Yeah . . it came out when we broke up. For all his talk about being open minded and demanding acceptance, princey prince was freaked out that I'm even more . . . open minded than him. Some of the Titans flipped. Fucking (Subject #1) tried to lecture me one time. Blah blah blah you're compromising the security of your team with your promiscuity blah blah blah. Like I was doing everyone in my uniform and giving them our security codes so they could sneak in to see me or something.

DS: You don't pursue . . conquests as your hero self?

#8: Of course not! Only other heroes. Only here in this tower or at East's headquarters. He was just jealous. That's what he was. At least of me doing the girls I did. It was like he wanted to go to them and tell them to stay away from me. He had this look of upset about it each time. (female Teen Titans auxiliary member)?! You did . . . (female Teen Titans auxiliary member)l?! (another female Teen Titans auxiliary member)!?! (yet another female Teen Titans auxiliary member)!?! Christ, he didn't even mention (Subject #4). He'd piss his green pants if he found out about that one. He probably wouldn't believe it. But then he acted all superior to me about the guys. Like that made him better than me. What the fuck? I can only imagine how ridiculous he must've acted the next time he met (male Teen Titans auxiliary member). Haha! What kind of asshole would surveil other heroes like that anyway?

DS: (Subject #1) followed you?

#8: Well, not really. But he does this insane review of, like every security camera in Jump City and identified me.

DS: Do you think (Subject #1) only did such a thing because of your . . unusual sexuality?

#8: Of course. Although, I wouldn't put it past him to have footage of speedster and pinkie goin' at it somewhere in the computer.

DS: Really?

#8: _(Sighs)_ Nah. Not really. He wouldn't. The thing is that (Subject #6)'s like his only connection. He'd crack up on his own. He really would. But (Subject #6) gives him that outlet for normal emotion. He doesn't take any shit from him. He throws him in the pool in his full uniform all the time. You can imagine how easily he can pull tricks on (Subject #1) with super speed. And he's like the most emotionally available guy. He's the perfect friend for (Subject #1). He can make emotional connection all the time and he doesn't take offense at anything. Remember, this is the dude who got knocked out and put in a cage by the girl he wanted to chase and never considered that these might be bad omens for a future relationship with her. (Subject #1) would never film (Subject #6). He'd never do something like that to alienate him. He gives him that outlet so that he can close down to everyone else and still feel like the emotional pressure doesn't build up too high. He can continue to be little bat, ha!. God, I wish I had video of him getting shrunk and turned into a little flying rat by (female Justice League magician).

DS: How well do you get along with (Titans East member) now? Does your . . history affect how you work together on missions?

#8: Christ, doc. We've both been doing this five or six years. We're pros. When (Titans East leader calls out an attack formation, I'm where I'm supposed to be. And, for the record, we're friends.

DS: Does (Titans East leader) feel that you've let your team down with how you live your life?

#8: No. Not really. She doesn't like that it has (Subject #1) looking down on two of her team members. She's totally competitive with him. When his thing with (Subject #5) blew up, she loved it. She never said a word to that effect but it was in the look on her face. She loved it.

DS: So, she doesn't think your sex life is a problem?

#8: A problem with what?

DS: With keeping up your commitments to the team?

#8: Oh please doc. People have this total misconception about this gig. They think it's like non-stop training and missions and action but it's not. There's tons of down time. Hell, it's mostly down time. If I go into the city and hook up with a cute waiter or waitress or model in the 16 hour gap between a training session and a call, what does it harm?

DS: Nothing I suppose.

#8: Right. I bring my communicator with me. I'm right there if they call.

DS: So . . why did you want to talk to me?

_(Long pause)_

#8: I have . . other feelings.

DS: Who's left after both men and women?

#8: Not like that. I don't know. It's not . . I mean, things are still great in the heat of the pursuit and doing it. It's just . . .

DS: You feel unfulfilled.

(Long pause)

#8: I came back to the Tower pretty late two nights ago. And I'm walking down the hall to my room when I see a door partly open. (Subject #1) switched their doors from one kind of lock to another this year. You have to do two things to set the lock. Sometimes the Titans living here don't do both steps if it's late at night and they're tired. Anyway. The door to (Subject #6) and (Subject #7)'s room is open. I closed it and did the lock but not before looking in. They were so . . . I'm not sure how to say it. They were in bed and spooning with the covers up to their shoulders and she had this look on her face like she was just so content. And he did too. There was just this . . this total . . connection between them.

DS: They really love each other.

#8: I . . I noticed it before. How could I not?

DS: It's hard to miss. But you've seen them together before, haven't you?

#8: Well, not . . in their bed, but sure, around the Tower.

DS: Holding hands? Him holding her in his arms? The two of them kissing?

#8: Sure.

DS: But it never affected you like that before. Why?

#8: I don't . . .

DS: Did it make you feel the gap between them and what you've had?

#8: . . . . . . . . I feel . . . . . . . . lonely. I . .

DS: That's what you wanted to talk about, isn't it?

_(Long pause)_

DS: Take as long as you need.

#8: I'm . . I'm fine . . . I just want to say . . . you know . . . I never hurt anyone. I . . . I never . . . did anything wrong. I-I made a lot of people very happy.

DS: Mmm hmm.

#8: I-I tried to bring this up to (Titans East member) a while ago. I was kind of thinking of this. I'd been with (female Titans auxiliary member) . . . and after we did it, we were lying in bed, but just for a minute. I . . I felt like I had to get out of there. I had to. Had to. But I didn't know why. I really liked her. She's smart and cute and an archer. And she has this great sense of humor. And I got out of there, like-like on autopilot or something. I remember looking back at the door to her place and feeling so certain that I should go back there, wondering what was I doing.

DS: But you didn't?

#8: No. I felt like a . . . a coward in a way.

DS: So, you tried to talk to (Titans East member) about that?

#8: Yeah. I wanted to talk about habits and stuff. I-I brought it up to him and he starting talking about some book or something written by some guy Britt Hume.

DS: I think you mean David Hume.

#8: Right. Anyway, (Subject #6) jumps in, something about playing pool and something else in that book. And (Titans East member) is all like 'That's splendid (Subject #6) and the two of them were off to the races talking about it and I was left in the dust. Not that I really deserved any better from (Titans East member).

DS: Do you think you can control your libido?

#8: Doc, I've never let it affect me doing this job. Not once. And, it's not like I'm so far out there.

DS: Oh really?

#8. Yeah. Look, (Subject #5) has this thing she can do. It's a Tamaranian thing. She can like just look at you and tell when was the last time you hooked up and who it was with. Don't ask me to explain it. I came back to the Tower late one night and she was all 'Friend (Subject #8) you were in a somethree' . And I corrected her. Threesome. Threesome. And I asked her not to tell the others. I said I didn't want them thinking I was out of control with how much action I get and she laughed her little (Subject #5) laugh and told me that (Subject #6) and (Subject #7) do it much more than me. So maybe I don't have any more urge to merge than any of them.

DS: Or maybe that's just (Subject #6) and (Subject #7).

#8: _(Chuckles)_ Maybe.

_(Pause)_

DS: Let me ask you a very serious question.

#8: Okay.

DS: Did you have some kind of tragedy or loss in your past?

_(Pause)_

#8: My-my father passed away when I was just a little kid.

DS: I'm sorry.

#8: I went to live on an Indian reservation. A wonderful man named Brave Bow took me in and acted as my father. And then he died.

DS: Oh. Wow. Twice. I'm sorry. Look. This is just one brief session. If I could just give you a few words of advice to take away from this?

#8: Okay.

DS: Take a risk. It doesn't have to be totally opening yourself up. But break patterns of emotion free behavior. If there's a girl who you still think about, contact her. Maybe she won't want to have anything to do with you. But maybe, if you admit that you made a mistake. Maybe she'll see past it.

#8: Okay.

DS: Wanting to change is the first step and you can't get anywhere without taking that first step. But everything won't go smoothly. Sometimes you'll fail and sometimes you'll get hurt. But that's how it is living a whole life. Trust your friends, too. They might give you a hard time at first if you go back to them. But they liked you before. They seem like some special people I wouldn't be surprised if they forgive you.

#8: yeah.

DS: Look. If you want to continue with me, in therapy, you're welcome to do so. You can look me up in the phone book.

#8: Thanks, Doc.


	11. Speedy evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

SPEEDY

The subject is a member of the Titans East group headquartered in Star City. I encountered him outside Titans Tower as I was leaving my session with Raven. Per the City Council's order (08-1462) I was to conduct evaluations of, not only the seven Titans living in Titans Tower, but any members of Titans East or auxiliary members who were present at the time that I was conducting other evaluations as required.

Speedy did not try and evade this requirement and I accomodated his schedule as best I could.

The subject has been a member of Titans East since its inception and before that fought crime as the protege of founding Justice League member Green Arrow. He stands six feet one and three quarters inches tall and weighs 173 pounds. He is approximately 18 years old and has been fighting crime for nearly six years.

A Nexis database search revealed news stories about Speedy fighting crime alongside Green Arrow dating back as far as April 17, 2003, when the Star City Journal ran a news story under the headline "Two Arrows Are Better Than One" describing the pair's ingenious foiling of an armored car robbery. Speedy appeared to fight along side Green Arrow through mid 2005 before newspaper stories in several cities, Gotham, Jump City and Steel City among them, began to recount his solo missions.

When Titans East was formed in mid 2006, Speedy was offered and accepted membership, along with Bumblebee, Aqualad and Mas and Menos. I have carefully reviewed Speedy's records as provided by both the Jump City and Star City police departments. I did not find a single instance of Speedy acting in a manner other than one consistent with the highest standards of crime fighting. He invariably acted to protect innocent life and catch criminals.

The subject is intelligent. He is particularly known for his amazing skill as an archer but also as a martial arts expert (speculated as being of black belt ability by the JCPD), weaponry expert and for what one police officer termed a "MacGyver"-like ability to fashion useful implements from disparate materials at hand. He does not appear to have a great background of book learning but is exceptionally knowledgeable in those subjects immediately relevant to his work.

The subject endured difficult circumstances in his childhood and these may have contributed to the subject having some reluctance to establish emotional attachment. But the subject evinces impressive maturity in his self knowledge in his awareness of his own psychological legacy due to these circumstances. The subject displays a mature adult's awareness of ethical considerations and no propensity for loss of control due to emotional outburst, whether from anger or other feeling.

Speedy does not have a super power. His incredible ability as an archer appears to be the product of a combination of years of training and a natural physical aptitude at the upper limit of that possible to a human being. As such, he is not technically a "metahuman" under the purview of Captain Doyle of the Jump City Police Department.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a physical condition that will affect his outlook or judgement. I contacted S.T.A.R. Labs requesting all pertinent data on the physical condition of Speedy. As with other subjects, S.T.A.R. Labs responded with a terse declaration that all such data was protected by the same doctor-client privilege as psychological information. They were kind enough to provide the following:

Speedy

age: Approximately 18 years

height: Six feet one and three quarters inches

weight: 173 pounds

fat percentage: 1.9 percent

chest: 41 inches

waist: 32 inches

hips: 38 inches

neck: 16 inches

bicep: 15 inches

thigh: 22 inches

calf: 15 inches

We have performed 3 complete physicals of Titans East member Speedy including full body magnetic resonance imaging, CT scans, full blood, urine and biopsy testing using state of the art laboratory equipment and analysis. We have no knowledge of any disorder limiting his physical capabilities or affecting his state of mind.

In my best judgement, I find that the subject, Speedy, of Teen Titans East, does not constitute a danger to himself or others.


	12. A session with Aqualad

Author's note: I want to thank reviewers for their kind words. I'm no less a praise whore than anyone else and lap it up with the best of them. I just don't believe in creating the circle of obsequiousness that you get with fawning thanks of individual reviewers. Another note, the version of Aqualad here is inspired by the Aqualad of stories such as "Of Age". And, in case anyone's forgotten, the deal here is that Robin previously negotiated with the psychiatrist doing the evaluations for Jump City that no Titan or other hero's name would appear in the transcripts. Somewhat arbitrarily, Robin=Subject #1, Cyborg=Subject #2, Beast Boy=Subject #3, Raven=Subject #4, Starfire=Subject #5, Kid Flash=Subject #6, Jinx=Subject #7, Speedy=Subject#8, Aqualad=Subject #9

_21 May 2008_

_It happened again. On leaving my session with (Subject #8), I encountered another member of Titans East whom I had not expected to have to evaluate. Only this time I think it really was purely an accident, at least on that party's part. I had finished my session with (Subject #8) and was leaving the Tower. I'd just exited the elevators, when I came across (Subject #9) standing there in the room at the ground floor entrance. He seemed to have been waiting for (Subject #8). He was a most impressive figure, in his dark navy on the bottom and lighter blue on the top unitard, with the prototypical "swimmer's" physique of wide, muscular shoulders and a small waist. _

_I introduced myself and informed him of what my job was and that, merely by having seen him at the Tower, I was now required by the City Council to conduct a psychological evaluation of him. He cast an angry glance at (Subject #8) and reluctantly agreed to submit to an evaluation to be conducted the very next day so as to not interfere with his schedule. He was quite polite and I immediately noticed his distinctive style of speaking, for he seemed to address everyone by their full first name. Where other Titans mostly called me "Doc", (Subject #9) always addressed me as "David". What's more, he always referred to his fellow heroes by their full first names, too. So, if for example, there had been a Titan called "Powerful Boy" whose real name was Fred Jones and whom the other Titans called "PB" or "Power" or "Freddy", (Subject #9) would have always referred to him as "Frederick". Frederick and I answered that call and got there before any of the other Titans. _

_After leaving Titans Tower, I immediately made my way to Jump City Police headquarters. As with (Subject #8), I would have to do a cram session of studying (Subject #9)'s file for the next day. Captain Doyle gave me the rather thin file that the JCPD had on (Subject #9) and promised to have the Star City Police Department email me PDF's of their file. I went home and studied what I could. A few hours later, the Star City file arrived via email. _

_There seemed to be little doubt about some things to do with (Subject #9) and nothing but doubt about others. There was a clear consensus about his powers. He can breathe underwater. He's able to telekinetically command any water. He has a telepathic ability to contact marine creatures and ask for their help. And he's incredibly strong, more so than even his impressively muscular, slender physique would lead you to expect him to be. However, he also seemed to have some degree of weakness in needing water, needing to be in it or to drink some or simply to be wet every so often but the various statements in the file were inconsistent as to how long between drinks or swims he could endure before weakening. Some thought a half day. Others thought a day. Others thought more. _

_But the greatest uncertainty about (Subject #9) was his origin. Some reports said that he was from the lost city of Atlantis. One claimed that he was Navy Seal. Others suggested that not only was he from Atlantis, but he was the prince of Atlantis with (Justice League mentor) being the king. Another report claimed he was the product of a S.T.A.R. Labs initiative to create "super soldiers" begun under the Bush senior administration and continuing to this day. Still another suggested that he may be the child of a shark that somehow mated with an olympic swimmer in waters bombarded with nuclear radiation._

_His record as a hero was flawless, absolutely impeccable. By all accounts of both the Star City and Jump City Police Departments, he has consistently been a figure mature beyond his years who is always reasonable to deal with. There were many minor reports of sightings of him at various highbrow cultural events in both Star City and Jump City. Had I not already spoken with (Subject #8) I would have laughed off the couple bits of media conjecture about the two of them in the file. But I don't think speculation about such things belongs in a police file, anyway. _

_As the boat arrived to ferry me across the bay to Titans Tower I had settled on a few topics to be sure to include in my conversation with him, first among them, his origin. I marched up the same stone path to the concrete walk in front of the double glass front doors. Waiting there, with his hands clasped behind his back in aristocratic fashion, was (Subject #9). He let me in and greeted me, "Welcome, David", then led me to the elevator. As we rode up to the 6th floor in the elevator, I apologized for the necessity of the evaluation. He disclaimed any animosity saying he did not blame me and mumbled something under his breath about (Subject #8) being responsible for setting him up. _

_I took a seat on one side of the usual room and (Subject #9) sat down opposite me. I turned on the recorder._

DS: This session takes place at . . 2:33 P.M on May 21st with Doctor David Silberman and . . .

#9: (Subject #9) And, here's the dollar that (Subject #1) says I'm supposed to give you.

_(Subject #9 removes one navy blue glove and produces a dollar bill which he proceeds to hand me before replacing his glove.)_

DS: Good afternoon.

#9: Good afternoon to you as well, David. Before we proceed any further, I want to note, for the record, that while I am submitting to this . . psychological evaluation, I believe its provenance is a terrible mistake on the part of the City Council. I've known (Subject #2) for approximately four years now and his dedication to being a hero is such that questioning his actions in this way, after the record that he's compiled, is a gross affront of epic proportion.

DS: So . . so noted. I-I guess I've also noted that you seem to always address and refer to people by the formal versions of their first names. That's very unusual.

#9: That's how I was taught to speak to be presentable at the court in Atlantis, David. In the heat of battle, I think I speak the same as my friends but where there's no danger and no demand on my time, why shouldn't I speak properly?

DS: So . . you are from Atlantis?

#9: I'm the prince of Atlantis, David. I've never tried to hide that. I just don't volunteer that information in public. It would be crass.

DS: Of course. That's only good manners. But, I-I feel somewhat silly addressing you as (Subject #9) if you're going to call me "David".

#9: You may call me (Subject #9's first name was used here) that's my real given name, (Subject #9's full first and last name was used here).

DS: Like the movie with the capsizing liner? The . . . Adventure?

#9: Yes, David. That's my family's name.

DS: Well, um . . . (Subject #9) why are you . . here, in Star City or in Jump City if you're a prince of Atlantis. Why aren't you there?

#9: _(Sighs)_ It's complicated, David. It's a decision born of multiple motivations. As I said, I'm the prince of Atlantis. This was the case from the moment I was born. We are a monarchy with an aristocracy. Atlantean noblemen have different water bodies as their protectorates, as the dominion which they are to protect. For instance, there is a Duke of the Atlantic at the court, a Duke of the Pacific, and of course the Indian and Arctic oceans. There is an Earl of the Mediterranean, another of the Caribbean, etc etc. There are also lesser nobles charged with protection of various bays and gulfs. Atlantis, the maritime capital, has a population of nearly 1 million people and there are lesser cities below the surface with populations of as much as 500,000. All of it, is ruled over by my father. But it is a vast dominion. He's quite often not at court. When he's not, his advisors are to enact his instructions and carry out his general policies. But the vipers at the court are always trying to influence his advisors and gain special favor.

DS: You're not in charge when he's somewhere else?

#9: _(Chuckles)_ No, David.

DS: Why is that funny?

#9: You see, for much of my life, my father has seen me as not even a marginally adequate successor, David. He was . . he was not the easiest father by whom to be raised. I didn't see much of him before I was eight years old. He was around but concerned with his duties as King and sometimes with dealing with the court. Also, Atlantean custom is that, before the age of 8, mothers completely eclipse fathers in importance in the raising of children.

DS: And after age 8?

#9: After age 8, boys in Atlantis are to learn to be men and, among other things, to fight. But, David, I was not ready to fight. I did not wish to. I was perfectly happy reading and learning the science of the seas. I was interested in the arts. I wanted to be a star dancer with the ballet in Atlantis. My father was aghast at this. Many, perhaps even most Atlantean fathers become more involved once a boy is eight but for most sons, their life doesn't change very much. Mine turned upside down. My father would humiliate me multiple times each day, sparring with me, slapping me about and throwing me. It was like Sparta under the sea. He would shout at me and challenge me to fight harder. But I would give in. I was supposed to show what my father thought was a warrior spirit and battle hopelessly against a hugely superior opponent. I didn't see the point. It didn't matter how hard I fought. I couldn't beat my father. I would surrender and he would storm out in anger calling me all sorts of names. He barely controlled his disdain for me, hinting of it even at the court in front of all the macchiavellian types there. I would be dishonest, David, if I did not admit to you that I strongly disliked my father in those years.

DS: Which years?

#9: From age 8 to nearly age 12, David. My father said he was preparing me to be tough, to be a future ruler. I thought he was merely being a sadistic brute who was unfair in every way imaginable. Then, one day, he dragged me to the gymnasium for another dreaded sparring session, literally dragged me. As bad as his haphazard brutality was, these sessions, these guaranteed beatings were even worse. But that time, another of my powers came to me. He was throwing me around the mat, hitting me and slapping me, I must admit, I was on the verge of tears, another of these ridiculous near beatings and for what? What good was it to adhere to his standard of manliness when he could pummel me even if I did? Why couldn't he treat me as well as I saw some other boys being treated by their fathers? I was furious and as he advanced on me after brutally throwing me across the mat for at least the tenth time, I did it for the first time.

DS: Did what?

#9: I used my telekinetic power over water. I'd never had that ability before. My father doesn't have it. There were only vague rumors about distant predecessors in our family line perhaps having the ability. I was screaming with rage at my father as he chuckled and grinned and advanced at me. And then I hit him. The-the fighting area had four marble basins, always filled with water, around the mat on which you wrestled or fought. I . . can't quite explain how I knew to do it. But he'd already hurt my one hand and my other shoulder felt as though it had been wrenched out of its socket by the impact the last time he'd slammed me to the mat. I wanted, with every fiber of my being, to strike him but couldn't with either hand. And then I looked at one basin and thought of the water in it forming a fist to do my striking for me and, to my surprise as well, it did. The water rose out of the basin in the shape of a large fist. It was resplendent in the light, both beautiful and powerful. My father saw it, too. He stopped advancing toward me and I rose to my feet. His grin was gone now. And I pummeled him with that fist of water. I made fists from the other basins as well. I pummeled him, David, shouting curses at him for all he'd done to me. How do you like it, Father?! How do you like it?! No more will I endure what you've done to me! No more!! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thoroughly enjoyed punching him over and over, sometimes with 4 fists at once. I beat him with the fists of water till he was bloodied and begged quarter. It was quite cathartic, David. I-I so despised him. And then, he totally surprised me.

DS: How was that?

#9: He had been beating me and treating me with complete contempt for nearly four years, David. Any time I passed him in a hallway, he would knock me down or throw me to the side. He would deride me to my mother as "your daughter". He did nothing but grunt and growl and push and beat and mock me those years. Nothing. And though he would occasionally bother to grunt out a sort of explanation for why he was treating me, his only child so horribly, it seemed to me that his actions were simply that of a horrible bully who enjoyed beating me. His infrequent explanations seemed just a pasted on rationale to hastily justify sadism toward his only child. But after I beat him and he had to surrender, he got slowly up off the mat and staggered toward me. I readied more fists of water to batter him but, to my surprise, and to his credit, he hugged me and cried tears of joy. He was overjoyed that I'd stood up to him and been able to beat him so soundly. He was genuinely euphoric that I'd beaten him. It . . it seemed astounding to me but he had actually meant the things he'd said about toughening me up and preparing me for the rigors of ruling. But it was true. He was genuinely pleased for me. I-I went from hating him to loving him in just that moment. In just that moment, David. It was quite extraordinary.

DS: That's amazing. The fact that there was a reason for it meant everything?

#9: Yes. I . . I still think it was stupid, to treat your son like that, David. He said that's how his father had treated him and that on his death bed, grandfather made him promise to treat me that way. My mother even said that there were times when he expressed regret to her about having to be so brutal toward me. Everything seemed to resolve wonderfully. And there followed a period during which he had me show off my new power at court and where he would speak proudly of me. It was in that period that he started preparing me to be a hero.

DS: A period?

#9: _(Sighs)_ Yes. It was, perhaps a year or so. You see, David. He thought, considering how powerful I was, that I should get through my boy phase sooner than all my peers.

DS: Your . . 'boy' phase?

#9: One of the . . one of the things you should understand about Atlantis, David, is that Atlanteans consider themselves to be far more sophisticated than surfaced dwellers. But it's not always so. You see, we sample your culture and whatever we consider to be its finest elements, we import to Atlantis and the other underwater cities. We have Shakespeare. We have Ibsen. We have Chekhov. We have your classical music, your jazz, your ballet, your opera. We read your books, the ones that seem worthwhile. Yes, we are a monarchy but we consider our outlook to be far superior to yours. I say that, not as someone who shares all these pretentious views but, nevertheless, that is the prevailing view that Atlanteans have of surface dwellers. They think of surface dwellers as being hopelessly coarse, ignorant and closed minded in contrast to enlightened Atlanteans. One example of this is the expectations of boys and girls at the start of puberty. When a boy first feels sexual desires, it's perfectly accepted, no, 'expected' perhaps captures the prevailing sentiment better. It's expected that he will sample the pleasures of his mates as well as those of the lovely young maidens. In fact, the typical expectation is that he will go through a phase of actually preferring to indulge his . . amorous energies with other boys.

DS: R-really?

#9: Yes, David. And there is the analogous expectation of Atlantean girls. But, though Atlantean society prides itself on its openmindedness for almost actively promoting this sexual experimentation, there is nearly as closed minded an expectation as I see here on the surface that, of course, boys will come around and choose to sleep with girls. So, my father was initially accepting that I should be spending so much leisure time with the smart, curly haired son of the Duke of the Indian Ocean. But, when he went with his father to their home south of Sri Lanka I think he thought that that should be it for me. Alright. Fine. You've tried it. Now turn your attention to girls. My parents would match me with the daughter of one noble or another at all the court events. But I didn't feel anything for them. For my pal, the son of the Duke of the Atlantic, on the other hand . . . . And then the earl of the Mediterranean and then one of my attendants . . . . Well, that last was when my father started to get angry.

DS: So, it wasn't so bad that you still slept with other boys if they were aristocrats but . .

#9: Exactly David. Perhaps it was their patience running out as well as that boy's status. But, father demanded that my 'boy phase' end.

DS: And did it?

#9: Well, David, you've already had a session with (Subject #8), haven't you? So you know the answer. You can't simply order someone to not be what he is, to not see beauty as he sees it.

DS: Well . . I can't tell one patient what another patient has said to me.

#9: (Sighs) I did try, David. I was told that my first, the son of the Duke of the Indian Ocean had taken up with a lovely girl we both knew. So did the son of the Duke of the Atlantic. If they could move on, why couldn't I? My mother played matchmaker and set me up with several lovely daughters of aristocratic families. But it wasn't for me. And I started another relationship with an aristocratic boy from the ballet. I was with him for most of another year. By this time, all the other boys my age had stopped seeing each other and were pursuing girls. I started to hear jokes made around the court. "The prince? He's still stuck in his . . phase. Hahaha!" One courtier called 'Deverell', in particular, was always mocking me. I don't know how he found out but he spread the story of me and my attendant. That was considered shameful by the aristocrats at the court. They particularly speculated, to comic affect, about a boy of common background being atop the royal person. The court considered even the idea an outrage. A commoner!?! This courtier, Deverell, spread this notion about quite vigorously. Then one of his friends saw me at the ballet congratulating my friend the lead dancer. And they put two and two together and that became the new basis for mocking me. The prince as a ballerina. Ha . . ha . . . . . ha. If they didn't have a basis, they would have invented one, anyway. They were so insane with intrigue, that even with my father in his prime, they were trying to position themselves and their families for the possibility of my being homosexual and not having a successor. They were positioning themselves and their families for two generations hence! It was ridiculous. When my father suggested I pursue a career as a hero I leapt at the chance. He wanted me to be more active, more masculine. In his mind, if I behaved in a more masculine way, I would stop being so interested in my male peers and would want to direct my sexual energies to Atlantis's lovely maidens. For my part, I was happy to get away from the court and to do something with my time. The life of a prince can be incredibly boring. And, there's something else.

DS: Yes?

#9: There's-there's a tremendous moral pleasure in being a hero, David. We save lives. We prevent people from being financially ruined. And we . . we inherently salute the dignity, the importance of every life by the fact that we risk ourselves for whomever is endangered. It can be very satisfying, David. It's something to which a young man can totally dedicate himself without any ambivalence.

DS: Do you occasionally feel ambivalence in your role as a prince?

#9: Yes. I do, David. There's such a large retinue attending to my every wish and comfort. It sometimes embarasses me. For instance, there's a young man whose sole job is to wipe the royal behind after I squat and use the toilet. That's all he does. He stands by the door to the bathroom in the royal residence and waits for me to use the toilet. As we speak, he's undoubtedly stationed beside a certain doorway in case I return to atlantis and use the bathroom.

DS: So, it must have been a jarring change to just be one member of the team at Titans East.

#9: Yes, a bit, but, as I said, I enjoy being a hero. But-

DS: Yes?

#9: (Chuckles)But it did not work as my father had hoped it would, David. I kept an open mind to the charms of young heroines. I met (female auxiliary Titans member) in her tight red suit. She was a most impressive sight. But, well, the teen heroes I met, (Subject #6) and (Subject #1) among them, were more captivating to my eyes. And then I somehow fell into a relationship with (Subject #8).

DS: Why do you say it that way, 'somehow fell into a relationship'?

#9: Well, David, he's not the sort of boy who would usually interest me. He's cocky and coarse and not particularly intellectual or interested in the arts. I-I tried to see if (Subject #6) was interested when I first met him. But he didn't even quite perceive what I was suggesting to him. (Sighs) He has that incredible rear end, and he loves reading books but he went for Jinx and that was that. But I fought alongside (Subject #8) on many many missions and came to suspect that the facade he presents to the world is not quite the real (Subject #8). And I came to suspect that he wasn't the simple playboy he was getting the reputation for being. For one thing, I came to be certain that he was also quite appreciative of the attractive qualities of young men. And I was right. We were coming back from a dangerous mission, just he and I, (Titans East leader) was with the twins and we kissed and then did much more. He . . . he's shockingly adept at matters of pleasure. I can still picture the smirk on his face. We-we tried to keep it a secret at first. (Subject #8) wanted things to stay that way but I thought that was ludicrous. I was open about it in front of all the other Titans. The results were . . . quite interesting.

DS: What happened?

#9: (Subject #1) and (Subject #3) started acting as though we had contracted a contagious plague of some sort. (Subject #4) didn't really care. (Subject #5) laughed and called (Subject #8) 'an adorable slutty boy', which I think she meant as a compliment. (Subject #6 and Subject #7) just sort of took deep breaths and sighed and invited me over as usual. (Titans East Leader) hated it. She thought it somehow reflected poorly on her leadership skills that two members of her team were in love. The twins didn't really care. But I should say that one member of her team was in love. I was in love. I'm not sure if (Subject #8) is capable of it. I didn't want to believe it, but after a few months, I started to become aware that (Subject #8) was constantly cheating on me. Waiters. Waitresses. Gymnasts of both sexes. Ballet dancers of both sexes. Male models. Female models. Even rendez vous with other male and female teen heroes.

DS: He wasn't faithful to you?

#9: Not even remotely. Some people can completely compartmentalize their ethics, David, can't they? They can behave impeccably doing their job but in a manner absolutely bereft of morals in their free time. I suppose there must be others of whom the opposite is true. I . . I took it very hard. I had convinced myself that it was right.

DS: How did you get over (Subject #8)?

#9: Not easily, David. Some of the others, (Subject #5), in particular, were quite kind to me. And, more and more I would fly here to spend time with (Subject #6) and (Subject #7). Their room became a sort of home away from home for me. They were always interested in talking about books and art and ideas and they accompanied me to all sorts of fine arts, operas, ballets and plays. I enjoy their company very much. Even their devotion to each other is quite pleasant to be around. After my experience with (Subject #8), it was nice to see that love can sometimes triumph, David. But . . .

DS: Yes, (Subject #9)

#9: Well, David, now I feel somewhat guilty around them.

DS: What for?

#9: Well, David, it was bad enough that I felt such lust for (Subject #6). I was able to control it except for the time I was drunk at his bachelor party and kissed him. I don't deny that I deserver reproach but I-I'm affected very strongly by the dehydrating effects of alcohol. But I . . well, I invited (Subject #6) to visit Atlantis.

DS: Why would you feel guilty about that?

#9: Because it was done with ulterior motives aplenty, David. I knew that, with his intellectual curiosity, (Subject #6) would be very much interested. I also knew that there were now rumors going around the court about me . . and a red haired surface boy. All the whispered jokes about how I was a fop still stuck in his 'boy' phase now seemed to include a red haired boy as the punch line. I'm not sure how any of them found out. Perhaps they only guessed. At any rate, as closed minded as Atlanteans can be about a young man still in . . that phase, there can be mitigating factors. I presented (Subject #6) to the court, carefully representing him as my 'friend' from the surface. They gawked at the strikingly handsome red haired boy with the astounding physique which his red and yellow suit did nothing to hide. The prince may have been stuck in his 'boy' phase but if that was the result of it, an amazing surface boy like that, condemnation would be rather sparse.

DS: So, you let them mistakenly think that (Subject #6) was (Subject #8)?

#9: Yes, David. In the finest tradition of the court of Atlantis, I deceived them.

DS: But, why not just present (Subject #8) to them? He's a handsome boy, too.

#9: Yes, David, but perhaps not quite so strikingly so. And he's also ill mannered and not especially intellectually curious. If it's not some advancement or refinement of his precious arrows, not some new fighting techique or perhaps a lost scroll of the Kama Sutra, his interest in a subject is minimal. (Subject #6) was completely fascinated with Atlantis. And . . . there was another reason.

DS: Yes?

#9: (Subject #6) is very . . tactile, David. He likes to give hugs, to put a hand on your shoulder, to do things of that sort. I notice that he's always holding (Subject #7)'s hand or wrapping his arms around her from behind. And it's not a duty. He likes to do these things. I believe he had an unfortunate childhood in which he felt starkly neglected and desired connection which was always denied him. At least partly as a result, he very much desires emotional connection and these little gestures of physical connection are a byproduct. But another of the many inconsistencies of Atlantis is that, at least at the court, touching in any way between men is considered an invitation to infer a homosexual relationship.

DS: Really?

#9: Yes, David. In the case of anything other than a handshake. It's . . quite silly how we careen back and forth from being more open minded to being less but that's how things are seen at the court. So, when we were being treated to an eel charmer's performance at the court and (Subject #6) was standing beside me and reached around my shoulders with his near arm and gave a little squeeze, he was only telling a friend thank you for this fascinating visit. But the entire court saw that and said, "Ah, this striking red haired boy has just admitted his love for the prince and that he shares his bed with the prince". And when I then gave a little pat to (Subject #6)'s incomparable rear. He gave me a slightly surprised glance but thought nothing more of it. But those in the court who saw it did. They immediately said to themselves, "Ah, the prince is the dominant one of the pair" and that, was much better for me.

DS: Why?

#9: Well, David, as in some mediterranean surface cultures the more active party of two men enjoying sexual pleasures is esteemed much more highly than the passive party. I used him for my benefit. And now . . _(sighs)_ . . now I find, ironically, that I lust after them both.

DS: What? You mean . . ?

#9: Yes, David. (Subject #8) thought it was hilarious. It began with (Subject #7) and she is the paragon of it in my mind but I find myself suddenly perceptive of female beauty in all its manifestations. (Subject #8) caught me looking out the window of our jet, two weeks ago, staring at (Subject #4) as we took off from the roof with the swirling air blowing her cape away from her body. He noticed right away and made fun of me in his typically coarse fashion. But it started with (Subject #7). I was talking to (Subject #6), recommending to him the poetry of Rilke. I-I didn't think I should look at him in that red and yellow suit just then, not when speaking of Rilke's silken words of love. So, I looked at her. I cast my gaze on (Subject #7). I watched her returning some books to the top shelf of one of their bookcases and suddenly found myself reacting to her as any young rake would. She was attired in her usual black lace and I-I found myself completely enticed by the notion of feeling its texture under my fingertips as they played across her luscious curves. I-I smiled warmly at her round little breasts pushing against the lace of her top and cocked my head to one side appreciating her firm round bottom. I even fixated upon the other side of her skirt. I imagined myself . . . . . . . . I was startled. I'd never been particularly fond of the female shape, preferring the slender physique of (Subject #6) or (Subject #1). I tried to compose myself and looked again. But I felt the same sensations, and even the stirring of . . . of the physical manifestation of a desire to make love to her. I quickly invented some pretense to leave the room.

DS: So . . maybe you're . . bisexual?

#9: Is that possible?

DS: What about (Subject #8)?

#9: But he's so coarse. We all attended a performance of (female Justice League magician). One by one, we gentlemen were asked to go up to the stage and assist her. And one by one she turned each of us into some animal form that seemed appropriate. (Subject #6) was made into a cheetah, covering over with spotted fur and sprouting a long tale. Vain (Subject #3) was transformed, not by his own power this time, into a peacock. And though he tried he couldnt' make himself into anything else. I suffered the indignity of being made into a frog, a dual joke on my being amphibian and the frequency of princes being turned into frogs in fairy tales. (Subject #8) became a huge, smelly jackass, not because he's stupid or especially stubborn but as the apt manifestation of his boundless lust.

DS: Well, (Subject #9). Even if your sentiments remain the same, it doesn't mean you'd have to be coarse.

_(Pause)_

#9: You're right. Just because he is-

DS: Or, maybe it's the end of that 'phase' you talked about.

#9: Perhaps. But right now I don't think I can be in that room where I most want to be, with my two great friends.

DS: Why not?

#9: I feel as though I've misrepresented myself to them. And how could I tell (Subject #6) that I lust after his wife?

DS: But . . they've known that you lust after her husband, haven't they?

#9: Well . . they have known that I'm interested in young men.

DS: See?

#9: I didn't speak of exactly how alluring he is. I did maintain some standards of comportment, David. Though, I did tell (Subject #6) that the sleek lines of his musculature are magnificent.

DS: I . . . I think they probably drew the correct inference from that.

#9: You think so?

DS: Yes. And, you see, they've already accepted this issue as part of enjoying your company. I'm sure that if you're open about how your feelings have . . evolved that they'll still value your company more than they'd attach importance to any silly worries.

#9: (Nods several times) You're right, David. You're right. They're both quite sensible. I-I shouldn't transfer my expectations fostered by the arcane attitudes and mores of the court at Atlantis to my Titans colleagues.

DS: You seem like quite a sensible . . fellow as well, (Subject #9).

#9: Thank you, David. That's very kind.

DS: And because you're so sensible, I don't know that I need to take any more of your time. I'd just like you to do me one favor, if you will?

#9: Certainly. What is it?

DS: Would you please demonstrate your power of telekinesis over water?

#9: (Grinning broadly) Of course.

_(With that, Subject #9 led me over to the room's single window looking out over the bay. With just a furrow of his brow he caused a column of water to rise up from the bay as high as our 6th story window, break off from the water of the bay and take the shape of a sea horse. He made this giant sea horse of water turn slowly in the sunlight before letting the water drop back into the bay. I thanked him for the display. He said that it was nothing and then proceeded to show me his ability to contact marine creatures telepathically, summoning forth first a score of dolphins to swim in our view then a pair of whales. I thanked him again, we said our goodbyes and then I left.)_


	13. Aqualad evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

AQUALAD

The subject is a member of the Titans East group headquartered in Star City. I encountered him near the Titans Tower exit as I was leaving my session with Speedy. As explained in the case of Speedy, per the City Council's order (08-1462) I was to conduct evaluations of, not only the seven Titans living in Titans Tower, but any members of Titans East or auxiliary members who were present at the time that I was conducting other evaluations as required.

Aqualad did not try to evade this requirement and I accomodated his schedule as best I could by returning the very next day to do his evaluation.

The subject has been a member of Titans East since its inception and before that fought crime as the protege of founding Justice League member Aquaman. He stands six feet one and a half inches tall and weighs 173 pounds. He is approximately 18 years old and has been fighting crime for five and a half years.

The subject is an Atlantean. He lives in an underwater city of undisclosed location. In fact, he is a literal prince of that city, his father, Aquaman is the reigning monarch. Despite having an extremely comfortable life that he could live there, he has chosen to fight crime and risk his own life to protect innocent lives both beneath the seas and here on the surface.

A Nexis database search revealed news stories about Aqualad fighting crime alongside Aquaman dating back as far as June 2, 2003, when the Houston Times ran a news story under the headline "Aquaman and Sidekick Save Grounded Oil Tanker". Aqualad fought crime both alongside his father and in solo missions around the globe for the next three years. His file includes excerpts from news stories from newspapers in Yokohama, Bombay, Shanghai and Cape Town.

When Titans East was formed in mid 2006, Aqualad was offered and accepted membership, along with Bumblebee, Speedy and Mas and Menos. I have carefully reviewed Aqualad's records as provided by both the Jump City and Star City police departments. I did not find a single instance of Aqualad acting in a manner other than one consistent with the highest standards of crime fighting. He invariably acted to protect innocent life and catch criminals. In fact, both police departments have spoken glowingly of what a mature, responsible young man he is, as have the police departments of Yokohama, Bombay, Shanghai, London, Alexandria, Rio de Janeiro and other municipalities.

The subject is very intelligent. His regal upbringing exposed him to all elements of high culture and he is very fond of and knowledgeable about it. He speaks a perfectly enunciated, grammatically correct english and observes the highest standards of personal manners. He is impressively athletic, at a glance, but is stronger than even his appearance would lead you to believe. He can bear the pressures of the deepest ocean waters. He is able to breathe both air and water making him truly amphibean. His other abilities include a telepathy with which he is able to contact other marine creatures and call for their help and a sort of hydro telekinesis. He is able to control water, to hold it in place, to shape it, to form it, to use it as any sort of shield battering ram or other tool he needs just by concentrating.

The subject shows an extremely mature understanding of ethical concepts, made even more impressive by the fact that the subject's upbringing as a prince taught that he was above other Atlanteans who were, themselves, a cut above surface dwellers. Despite being raised in an atmosphere accepting of a virtual caste system outlook upon life, the subject willingly risks his life for all those in need, irrespective of their background. The subject's grasp of the nuances of subtle moral distinctions is acute. He shows genuine sympathy for the downtrodden and a sincere attachment to the belief in the importance of every life. He has a mature temperment that further ensures his wise use of his considerable powers.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a physical condition that will affect his outlook or judgement. I contacted S.T.A.R. Labs requesting all pertinent data on the physical condition of Aqualad. As with other subjects, S.T.A.R. Labs responded with a terse declaration that all such data was protected by the same doctor-client privilege as psychological information. They did provide the following:

"Aqualad

age: Approximately 18 years

height: Six feet one and one half inches

weight: 173 pounds

fat percentage: 2 percent

chest: 42 inches

waist: 30 inches

hips: 36 inches

neck: 16 inches

bicep: 16 inches

thigh: 20 inches

calf: 13 inches

We have performed 3 complete physicals of Titans East member Aqualad including full body magnetic resonance imaging, CT scans, full blood, urine and biopsy testing using state of the art laboratory equipment and analysis. We have no knowledge of any disorder limiting his physical capabilities or affecting his state of mind."

In my best professional judgement, I find that the subject, Aqualad, of Teen Titans East, does not constitute a danger to himself or others.


	14. A session with Beast Boy

Author's note: Once again, let me remind you that this is a transcript of a session between Jump City's chosen psychiatrist, Dr. David Silberman and Beast Boy. In accordance with the agreement Dr. Silberman negotiated with Robin, there will be no names used in these transcripts. So, Robin=Subject #1, Cyborg=Subject #2, Beast Boy=Subject #3, Raven=Subject #4, Starfire=Subject #5, Kid Flash=Subject #6, Jinx=Subject #7, Speedy=Subject #8 and Aqualad=Subject #9. This transcript, like the others, is preceded by some notes by Dr. Silberman.

***

_26 May 2008_

_After my fairly rushed preparations for sessions with (Subject #8) and (Subject #9), it was a relief to have a few days to prepare for (Subject #3). I read the file provided by the Jump City Police Department (JCPD) all the way through once then started making notes to myself as I read through a second time. A couple impressions quickly formed. Though no hard data was available, it seemed clear that (Subject #3) was the youngest of the group. He seemed to occupy a sort of annoying little brother role relative to the other Titans. Or at least he had until recently. He was regarded as a sort of class clown, too, prone to making jokes even at public ceremonies. One of the other immediate observations I made was his size. Until six months ago when he apparently began a very rapid growth spurt, he had been almost exactly the same size from the time the Teen Titans were formed. He was a very slender five foot two, growing only to perhaps five foot three and change in the course of four years. He was the smallest of the group, shorter than (Subject #1) who was perhaps five foot five at the inception of the group. _

_But in the last six months, (Subject #3) had shot up like a weed, growing to over six feet tall, adding a little muscle to have the appearance of a still slender but certainly athletic high school boy and changing in other ways, too. For one, his voice belatedly changed. I listened to different recordings included in his JCPD file and until six months ago, his voice was a sort of scratchy, nasally boy's voice. Now, it's distinctly deeper without any nasal sound. Also, he looks different. With his growth spurt, (Subject #3)'s jaw line changed. His whole face seemed to change. And he grew his hair longer, somewhat disguising his pointy ears. The overall effect was quite impressive, so much so that (Subject #3) now occasionally works as a model. Most notably, he appeared in an ad for a new electric car, leaning back against it at the end of the ad as the voiceover says "Green can be beautiful". _

_From the time of the group's formation, (Subject #3) was the most popular Titan. There were apparently seven different fan clubs devoted to saluting how cute and wonderful the club members, almost entirely female and self described as "BB Fangirls", found him to be. With his sudden metamorphisis into a young man of a different sort of attractiveness, his appeal to the general public hasn't waned. If anything, it's grown. At the suggestion of (Subject #1) and the JCPD, (Subject #3) was encouraged to report those items in the massive volume of correspondence he received from fangirls which perhaps indicated unhealthy obsession with him. In one month's time, according to the JCPD, 17 marriage proposals, 19 overt solicitations for sex and 12 items of feminine underwear were sent to him._

_At the Jump City St. Patrick's Day Parade, at the front of which he'd marched for the last four years, police detained 34 fangirls who tried to rush at (Subject #3). Things might have been handled better but (Subject #3) patiently tolerated the first few who ran up to him at beginning of the parade and professed how much they loved him and kissed him. Video of the even shows him sighing and letting one, then a quarter mile later another, then a hundred yards later a third fangirl kiss him on the cheek and give him a hug. But a sort of tipping point was reached and scores of young girls started running from both sides of the parade route toward him, forcing the JCPD to intervene._

_His appearance is utterly distinctive as he is green, not with envy, not with feelings of jealousy or as though he's in the money or behaving in an environmentally sensitive way. (Subject #3) is green. His skin is a rich green color. His hair is a darker green. His eyes are green as well. He wears a one piece suit, purple down the middle with black arms and legs from the thighs down. He also wears a sort of utilty belt, white gloves and running shoes topped in the same purple as his uniform. _

_Actually, the uniform is an interesting topic because my daughter, who along with her friends shrieked at the top of her lungs when I told her I would be speaking to (Subject #3) next asked where his uniform went when he turned into a rhino or a gorilla and how did he have it back on when he turned back into a human. One of her friends gave away their interest when she wondered aloud why he isn't just naked when he turns back into his human self. This, of course, was followed by the word 'naked' being shouted by another girl and another round of shrieks so loud that my neighbor came over and knocked on my front door to see if everything was alright. _

_Compared to some of the other Titans, there was practically no conflict about (Subject #3)'s powers. He's able to instantly change his slender teenage boy body into a green version of any animal that has ever walked the earth. However, there was a complete lack of information about the origins of his incredible power. One environmentalist magazine once speculated that his condition was the result of having eaten genetically modified corn but there was no corroboration whatsoever for this hypothesis if it can even be called that._

_I had my prepared notes with me in my briefcase when I took the usual boat launch across the bay to the island on which Titans Tower stood. I made my way up the steps to the front door and rang the bell. In a split second, a red and yellow blur came into view and then materialized as (Subject #6). He buzzed me in from the other side and led me to the elevators. He had less of a wary air about him than before. He asked who I was going to be seeing. I told him (Subject #3). He sighed and nodded then asked that I please go easy on him. He said that (Subject #3) was all worked up at the prospect of this session. I said I didn't know that (Subject #3) had anything in particular to worry about. He reiterated his request that I go easy on him._

_When we got to the 6th floor, (Subject #3) was waiting in the hallway. I composed myself enough for an introduction and followed him into the usual room but I should note that he was both more handsome and more . . green than I had expected from the pictures in is file. Maybe that sounds silly. All the pictures showed that (Subject #3) is green. But seeing an actual living boy like that was somehow much more powerful. When we sat down and I faced him, I probably stared at him for his appearance. I also saw that he did look rather anxious. No better way to dispel that than to start right in talking, so I started the recorder rigt away_

DS: This session takes place at 2:10 PM on May twenty sixth 2008 with Doctor David Silberman and . . .

#3: (Subject #3)

_(Subject #3 removes a dollar bill from his utility belt and hands it to me)_

#3: (Subject #1) said I was supposed to give you that.

DS: Yes.

#3: And, um, I-I just wanted to say that it's crazy that you guys think (Subject #2) would ever hurt anybody. Ever. He's like totally got the whole gentle giant thing going on.

DS: Duly noted.

_(pause)_

#3: We like play fight all the time and when he thinks he might have hurt me, he gets really bent out of-hey-you didn't write anything.

DS: Huh?

#3: You said 'duly noted' but you didn't write anything!

DS: It's being recorded. This session's being recorded.

#3: Oh. Yeah, right. I saw you press the button and everything. I'm not used to how these things go. I never had to see a shrink before. I mean a psychiatrist! I only know from what I see on, like, the Sopranos . . . . . You don't treat any mob guys, do you?

DS: I can't tell you about who I treat.

#3: So you do!

DS: No! I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that I do and I'm not saying that I don't. I can't tell you anything about any other patient.

#3: Cuz he might have you whacked?

DS: No! That's not it. It's part of my professional oath. If, after seeing you, a patient asked me if I'd ever had a changeling as a patient, I would tell him that I couldn't say yes or no. I would have said the same thing before meeting you. It's part of being a professional.

#3: Okay, Doc. And, you don't have to turn away like that when I notice you staring. I'm green. It's unusual. I understand it.

DS: It-it doesn't look bad. You're . . quite a handsome young man. My daughter's very much infatuated with you. She loves your . . your green-ness.

#3: Well, I don't have a hell of a lot of choice in the matter, Doc.

DS: How do you feel about that?

#3: About what? About being green?

DS: Yes.

#3: It's cool. I mean, sometimes I'd like to be normal. I'd like to be like (Subject #1) or (Subject #6). It seems like it'd be a relief to be able to be anonymous. All they have to do is change their clothes and they can go out in public. Me, I'm always (Subject #3). It's a lot better now that I'm not just a weird looking little green shrimp.

_(In a split second, Subject #3, morphed from his human body into a small green shrimp on his chair and then back into his human form)_

DS: That's amazing. Is it easy for you to do that?

#3: Yeah. I just think about another animal with a certain intensity and I become that.

DS: Does it hurt?

#3: No. Not at all.

DS: Were you born being able to do that?

#3: _(Sighs)_ No.

DS: Do you mind my asking, how did you get such an incredible power?

#3: My parents were scientists. Notice how I say that? They . . were . . scientists. I was ten years old traveling with them in Africa. They were doing work on genetics. I got bit by this frigging monkey infected with sakutia. I got really sick. And we were a long ways from any kind of hospital. I was getting really weak and the best my parents could do for me was to give me a shot of something mixed with certain properties from the monkey itself. See, the monkey was, like, carrying the disease but wasn't affected by it. So if I could have the same stuff in me as in the monkey, then maybe I could fight off the sakutia. And it worked. My body fought off the disease. I lived, eeeeeeeeeeexcept it turned me green. Everything except my teeth and the whites of my eyes turned green. I was happy to be alive, but at the same time I was wondering how I could ever go back to school now that I was fricking green! How would I ever live this down?!

DS: Were you able to change into other forms right away?

#3: No, I . . well maybe I could. I didn't know. I only realized I could a week or so after I was able to get out of bed. I was with my mom outside our hut and all of a sudden, there was this poisonous snake right there in front of her. And I remember wishing I was a mongoose so that I could take out that snake. The next thing I knew, cloth is flopping down over my head like blankets were dropped on top of me and I feel completely weird. Not uncomfortable, just . . weird. Different. Anyway, I crawl out from these like blankets on top of me and I realize that they were my clothes and now I'm only like knee high to my mom and my green arms are-are furry. I was a mongoose. I turned into a mongoose! I realized it right away. And now my mom is like double shocked. There's not just the snake in front of her but her son just turned into a little furry thing and walked out from under his clothes. But, hey, I was a fricking mongoose, so I went right at that snake and I took him out. And then my mom is all crying and grateful and she's holding me but I'm this little furry mongoose. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a little furry mongoose. Cripes, being green was bad enough. And I thought of my regular self and the next thing I know, I'm me again. And from then on I could change into anything.

DS: Did that make it easier to deal with-with what had happened to you?

#3: Yeah. I mean, I was still a freak but now I was a real useful freak. I would change into an elephant and carry all my parents instruments and bags and things and they could ride me when they went on safari to try and find some particular animal to study its genetic background. I could also fly ahead, as an eagle and see if something they were looking for was there. At night, I could be a lion sleeping beside their fire for protection. Clothes were kind of a problem but in some parts of Africa that's not as much of a big deal.

DS: Couldn't . . couldn't they have just studied . . you? I mean, if they wanted to see something about the DNA of a mongoose, well, you could be a mongoose.

#3: I could be a mongoose, Doc, but a green one and one with special DNA that lets me do this . .

_(In a split second, Subject #3's body becomes that of a green mongoose sitting in his chair and then, just as quickly returns to human form)_

DS: Simply amazing. Reading about you doing that or even seeing it on TV doesn't do justice to how amazing it is to see in person. So, you start working with your parents, serving as their beast of burden or whatever else they need.

#3: Uh huh. And that was kinda neat. My dad thought he'd be able to fix me bein' green and, well, with just the three of us out in the middle of Africa, it was okay.

DS: Were you doing any super hero-ing right away?

_(pause)_

#3: No. it's a little like Spiderman.

DS: You like to read comic books?

(pause)

#3: Yeah. Look, I know it's not the real world. I understand that. It's not the real world. It's not what we deal with. It's just comic books. But sometimes those heroes have the same problems we do! It can be useful. It's not just a waste like (Subject #1) says!

DS: I don't think there's anything wrong with you reading comic books.

#3: Oh. Um . . well, you see, Spiderman got his powers but he didn't become a hero right away. He didn't know just what to do with his powers and then this bad dude who robbed some place was running right by him but Spiderman didn't do anything to stop him. Then, right after that, his Uncle Ben gets killed and Spiderman's all angry and he chases the guy down and finds out it's the same guy who he didn't stop! So, he's all guilty that he should have tried to help. With great power comes great responsibility. That's what his uncle said. And from then on he-he tries to be a hero.

DS: Did . . something like that happen with you?

#3: No. But I wasn't being a hero at all. I was just helping out my parents, some. I didn't even have a chance to . . . . to . . . . . save them. I . . . .

_(Pause)_

DS: Take as much time as you need.

#3: (Sighs) They left me with a Kenyan woman at our bungalow. She was a sort of babysitter friend of theirs who knew about me. I could've gone with 'em. There was only so much space on the boat, only enough for them and two other scientists. I could have become something small but I liked becoming bigger animals much better. I was a stupid little ten year old kid. I was tired of feeling small. I only wanted to turn myself into elephants and rhinos and lions and things like that. I didn't want to be a little green mouse! I could've been there. I . . . I probably could've saved them. I . . . .

_(Pause)_

DS: Take your time.

#3: I-I didn't think there would be any danger. They were just going up river on a trip to find some stupid bird, some stupid fucking bird. They drowned because of some stupid fucking bird. Well, not directly because of it. But their boat flipped over in the river and they drowned. . . . . And I wasn't there because I was too insecure to become a mouse.

_(In a split second, Subject #3 becomes an exceptionally tiny green mouse on his chair and then morphs back into his human form.)_

#3: I could've changed into a dolphin or a whale or something and carried everyone to safety. But I wasn't even there. This-this guy just came to the bungalow to tell us. Sorry kid your parents are dead. Just like that. And he practically flipped out seeing me, the green kid. The babysitter had tried to sort of have me sit in deep shadows so that the guy couldn't tell what I looked like but he saw. There were a couple months there where they didn't know what the fuck to do with me. I was like freak squared, green and a changeling. I think they were trying to figure out how to make money off me, probably send me to a circus or something when Doom Patrol showed up and picked me up. Somehow they'd heard about me and how I could morph.

DS: That's the group lead by Mento?

#3: Yeah. They-they were (sighs) I don't know. I want to say they were good to me. I was 11 years old and my parents had just died right after I turned into the world's biggest freak. It-it was okay. Things didn't fall apart. Elasti-girl was nice to me but frickin' Mento was just this cold asshole all the time. She-she realized she was kind of a stand in for my mom but he didn't try to be a dad at all. Everything was all business with Mento. Don't be emotional and stop to help a teammate, not when you could chase after someone from the Brotherhood of Evil. I mean, he was cold even for a team leader. As much of an uptight, anal retentive jerk as (Subject #1) can be, he's a lot better than Mento. At least Mento came up with this uniform.

DS: Ah, I was going to ask you that. Where does your uniform go when you become a rhino or a gorilla or whatever it is and how is it that it returns after you become human again?

#3: Well, like I said, I have to give Mento credit for it. The whole clothes thing was a real problem. What Mento figured out is that I can completely control my own genetic material and he wondered if maybe I could control some slightly unstable other materials if they had some of me mixed in with 'em. This suit?

DS: Mmm hmm?

#3: It might look like just a spandex suit but it's not really. It's something just like that with a very small amount of my hair clippings mixed in, not even a handful over the entire suit. HYou can't even tell to look at it, they're cut short and sort of woven right into it. Same thing with the gloves. For the utility belt and shoes, we used ground bits of my nails. As long as it's me, I can control it. So, when I become something else, I change the suit and gloves and everything into that and when I change back I change rhino or whatever into suit and gloves and shoes.

DS: Ahhh. So that's how you do it! Very interesting. But, back to Doom Patrol, you were unhappy with that team.

#3: Yeah. The-the whole thing, it being after I was orphaned and Mento being so cold to me. I-I needed more than that. I can't believe he couldn't see that. And he-he made me feel like the team mascot not a team member even why I did the most to catch some guy.

DS: So, when you had a chance to join the new group forming, the Teen Titans, you jumped at it.

#3: Like this . .

_(Subject #3 turns himself into a lemur, leaps across the room to the bookcase on the wall behind me and then back to his chair before turning back into his human self)_

DS: I-I still have to say that that's amazing. So . . so you became a Teen Titan and how was that?

#3: Well . . better. (Subject #1) can be a complete hardass but he's not as bad as Mento and he's only like a year older than me so, I don't know. It's-it's kind of like my older brother's not as nice as I'd like. And I guess that's better than your dad never being nice to you. And it was better to be with a team of other kids than with a team of people who're old, like 30 . . . . oh, sorry. Anyways, maybe I was almost old enough to be past missing my dad quite so much anyway. But everybody's cool to me. Sometimes I kind of felt like I was, well, not just a mascot, but sort of, I don't know, not as important or respected as the others but leading the fight against the Brotherhood of Evil helped change that.

DS: You felt like you didn't get enough respect from (Subject #1)?

#3: Well, it-it wasn't quite like that. It's hard to explain. He takes certain things for himself. He's the leader. He does the communications with the JCPD and the Justice League. He does all the case files. And that's cool. I don't really want to spend all my time typing out case files. Let's see, the barometric pressure as we were fighting Cinder Block was . . . 30.21. I mean, so what? He goes way overboard. But I could do some of that. I could talk to the JCPD. I mean, most of it's so, like, duh! Sure, Chief! We'll be on the lookout for Professor Chang! What? Only (Subject #1) could say that? I did some case files and I got, like, the tiniest stupidest little unimportant details wrong and he was all over me. Forget it, (Subject #3)! If you're not gonna keep the event date and file dates straight, just get out of here! I'll do it. Well, duh! He wants to do it himself. No matter how well I did 'em he'd have found something wrong. He's gotta feed his OCD, I guess. But then I get put down for not being responsible.

DS: So, you feel like you sort of get pushed into a certain role within the group that's not all you can be?

#3: Yeah. And it's not just me. (Subject #1) doesn't want (Subject #6) doing the case files either. And he's perfect for it! He can type a few pages out in a couple seconds. But (Subject #1) blew some tiny things way out of proportion and told him he couldn't do 'em either. He, like complains that he has to do all that shit himself but when people try to help he runs 'em off the job! _(Sighs)_ I don't wanna seem like I'm too hard on him. He's not a bad guy and he does everything without a power, which is almost as incredible as anybody's power.

DS: Mmm hmm. How are your relations with the other members?

#3: Pretty good. (Subject #2) and I kid around and play video games and compete all the time but we get along pretty well. I get along pretty well with (Subject #5), too. And (Subject #6) and (Subject #7) are cool. They can be a lot of fun, even if they're both serious nerds. But they're not snobby about it. (Subject #4) was always kind of snobby about it, kind of snobby about everything to me.

(Pause)

#3: I . . I don't know what she told you. I know! I know! You can't say. I'm not gonna ask. Anyway, I-I really wanted to go out with her, at one time. Okay, for a long time. But nooooooooooooo, she has to control her emotions. Can't do that sort of thing. Oh no. And I'm not sophisticated enough for her. Then, she meets frigging (Subject #9) and if he'd been weak from lack of contact with water, like he gets, it would've been okay, because she could've covered him in drool. She didn't know anything about him. She didn't know if he was a nice guy or a jerk or smart or dumb. But she like had a crush on him instantly. All her stuff to me, oh (Subject #3) how could I go out with the team clown. Oh (Subject #3) how could I go out with someone who's not intellectual. All her cutting remarks! Well, (Subject #9) could've been the Titans East team clown for all she knew but it didn't matter because he was six feet tall and all studly looking in his unitard. And he's gay, anyway. Ha! Shows you how much she knows about anything. But she used to try to say that we just weren't a match because of personality issues. Well, the way she acted when we met (Subject #9) showed it was all about looks. Chicks try and tell you that they're all like high minded and stuff, Doc, but they're just as much about looks as us dudes. Just as much. Trust me. I'm the test case. She even went and did it with (Subject #8)! (Subject #8)!! Everybody knows about it. She did it with Mr. Titans Playboy. God! I guess he just has some special hidden personality traits. Some hidden sophistication, very well hidden. But no, not me. And then she got all upset when I was so nice to Terra. So, when I had my growth spurt and got to more than six feet and the way I look changed, it was no surprise that all of a sudden she was giving me looks. She must've just thought I had a spurt in the growth of my sophistication, right, Doc?

DS: You think she only started to consider you an acceptable suitor because you'd gotten taller and better looking?

#3: I know she did. Well, I mean, I didn't ask her out. I didn't say anything to her. If I wasn't good enough for her then, then she's not good enough for me now. Doesn't matter anyway. I moved on. But I'm not that bitter. I mean, she wasn't the only one. Some of the others thought I was really cute. That's what they used to say. (Female auxiliary Teen Titans member), (another female auxiliary Teen Titans member) and (a third female auxiliary Teen Titans member) used to always hug me and tell me how cute I was. But cute sucks, Doc. Cute's just a tease. Plushies are cute. Cute is like, I like you but I could never ever be with you. Cute's not worth crap doc.

DS: Do you have a steady girlfriend now?

#3: (Sighs) Well, no, not really. But I'm not acting like (Subject #8). I mean, I could have all these fangirls if I wanted. We're like rock stars in Jump City. Me, (Subject #6), (Subject #1) even (Subject #2). We could be like doing a few different girls every day. It could totally be happening. But (Subject #1)'s more interested in being the king of the case files. (Subject #2)'s always working on circuits and stuff and (Subject #6) just wants (Subject #7). He doesn't care about any other girl. Who's that leave? Me! I could totally be, um . . . doing . . girl after girl but I don't. But just for enjoying how I look now a little bit I get made into a peacock.

DS: Huh?

#3: We all went to see a performance of (female Justice League magician) a few months back, us and East. And one by one she had us guys come up on stage and she changed us into animals that fit each of us. She made (Subject #1) into a little bat. He totally freaked about it. Mr. Control getting turned into something against his will. And she turned (Subject #6) into a cheetah. Duh. She made (Subject #9) into a frog and (Subject #8) into a jackass. And, let me tell you, Doc, her frigging magic is strong. I coudn't do anything about changing back. She turned me into a peacock, not a green one, a regular one with blue body feathers and the big fan of tail feathers. I got turned into a peacock, because, supposedly I was, like, all posing and showing off all the time. Well, shit, I got made fun of all the time before that for being short and scrawny and having kind of an odd voice. Is it so terrible that I enjoy that I look like this now?

DS: No, not within reason.

#3: Right. And I didn't try to get those modeling gigs. Those people called the Tower. Hello, is this Mister (Subject #3)? I'm Dink Wickworth, or whatever the hell the guy's name was, from the Ford modeling agency, We'd like to talk to you about doing some modeling for us. I didn't plan that! I did enough stuff before, like being at the front of the Saint Patrick's day parade, ha ha wearin' of the green! Get it?! All those Christmases being an elf in the window of the big department store in downtown Jump. He's small and he's got big pointy ears! Get it?! I did that stuff that practically made fun of me, but I can't be on the other side now? I don't take time off from the team to walk down the catwalk a few times a year. It's not like I'm gonna do that for a living. It's too weird, anyway. Look at me. I'm a bit light, huh?

_(Subject #3 gets up from his chair and turns a circle in front of me then sits back down)_

DS: A bit, I suppose.

#3: No, I am. A hundred sixty two pounds and six feet tall. But, I mean, I just had this big growth spurt so, it's kind of expected. But at fashion shows? If there are fifty guys there, there might be three that you wouldn't bet on me to take in a fight, I mean, if I didn't have my power. They're all pretty boy wimps, scrawny ass pretty boy wimps. It's so weird. And the chicks are even worse than the dudes! (Subject #5)'s thin but half the girls are anorexic. They must be. They don't have any, um, you know, um, chestal shape, um, breasts. They got all mad at me in Milan because I was watching 'em before the big show and I said 'they're so thin it makes me want to puke, like they all must do thirty seconds after every meal'. And it got picked up on some microphone. So what? It's true! Everybody knows it is. Why do we have to pretend? But I'm even more of a freak with the models. They all stare at me, the green kid. I didn't realize how normal I felt with the Titans till I was dressing and undressing with all those scrawny pretty boys and starving pretty girls. And, besides that, there're these couple guy models totally after me, I mean in, like, an over the top dude dude way, all over me when I'm changing backstage.

DS: Huh?

#3: In a dude who likes dudes way! I mean, fine, whatever you want to do, just don't hurt anyone. But one of 'em even broke into my hotel room in Paris. This blond french dude. He was like crazy trying to bed me. Oh Garcon Beast! Mon Cheri! Je t'aime!! I had to throw him out into the hallway. I don't need that crap. I mean, I made some serious benjamins doing it, so that's cool. But there are designers who use, like, sweatshop labor for all their stuff but they want me to be in their show and say, look, I'm green! I even have (Subject #3) in my show, that's how green I am!

DS: So what will you do, I mean, with your time if you're not going to do any modeling?

#3: I'll do this, I'll do superheroing. It can be a real pain, not getting thanked a lot of the time and being taken for, like, granted a lot of the time but it feels so good to save people. I mean, maybe I prevent somebody else's mom and dad from dying and that little guy doesn't have to go through what I did.

DS: That's very admirable. Do you mind if I ask you some more questions about your powers?

#3: Sure Doc. Fire away.

DS: Well, a couple years ago, there was a rumor that you had some kind of virus or something and your powers had gotten out of control. Is that true?

#3: (Sighs) Yeah. It-it was some kind of virus. It totally messed with me and for about a week there I was turning into this sort of giant wolf thing against my will . . . I had some fights with my teammates. But I didn't hurt anyone! And it hasn't happened again.

DS: Do you have trouble controlling aggressive animals like wolves and things?

(Subject #3 suddenly turned himself into a velociraptor dinosaur just like the ones from Jurassic Park and stepped toward me, leaning over me and showing me a mouthful of incredibly long, sharp teeth. Then he stepped back and was his human self again and sat back down.)

#3: Sorry. I was just kidding there. I'm completely myself, mentally, no matter what animal I become but I do feel that animal's instincts. Like, when I turn into a dog, if a house cat goes by, I don't chase it but I do feel that impulse.

DS: And does the constant changing of your body, of your shape make you feel in any way odd or uncertain about yourself?

#3: Huh?

DS: Well, what I had in mind was for instance, I was watching a documentary about an actor who used to play all kinds of different roles, sometimes multiple roles in the same movie. He was an expert impersonator and he would get so immersed in all these different roles that he almost seemed to have trouble remembering who he, the actor not the characters he was playing was. That's not a very good explanation, I'm afraid. But do you feel differently about yourself after being several different animals?

#3: I don't think so. I suppose I notice my own body and how it feels to walk upright at first. But I don't stay anything else for very long. As soon as I'm done needing to be something else, I always change right back.

DS: Good. That's good. A muddled self image isn't healthy. On another point, you . . you have quite a reputation as a jokester according to your file.

#3: Yeah? I guess that's true. So what?

DS: As much as before?

#3: Well . . maybe not as much, no.

DS: Why?

#3: Why?!

DS: Yes, what's changed?

#3: I don't know. Maybe some of it was nervousness before and I'm not so nervous now. Some of it's probably (Subject #6). He likes to joke around, too. And he gets off some great ones at (Subject #1). Saves me from having to do it. He dressed up in (Subject #1)'s uniform one time and a call came in to the video screen at the communications center and he pretended to be (Subject #1). Oh my god! It was great. He said to the police chief, 'I know people think I'm so uptight that a lump of coal up my butt would come out a diamond'. Haha! And (Subject #1) had to stand there and take it. That was great!

DS: So, (Subject #6) helped to upset the roles a bit?

#3: I guess so, yeah.

DS: Are you more comfortable with how things are now?

#3: Yeah, I suppose so.

DS: You like the job?

#3: _(Nods)_ Like I said, there're gripes but it's cool. I just want, I mean, this isn't the 'job', but I just want to have a girlfriend. Well . . . no, I mean, that'd be cool enough. but what I really want is what (Subject #6) and (Subject #7) have. She's hot and it's like totally understood between them, the connection. They kid each other and they have fun and there's always a, like, connection between them. I guess that's cuz it's real. That's why they got married. That's . . that's what I want. I want to feel that connection to a girl. I hoped well, I don't know what I really hoped with Raven, especially at the start. I wanted to sleep with her. With Terra, I think I was a little more like mature about things. But I want what they have, (Subject #6) and (Subject #7).

DS: Well, there are a fair number of super hero girls out there . .

#3: And the annual get together in June's coming up!

DS: Ah, that's right. I read something about that in one of the files. You've all gotten together in June for . . the last 3 years.

#3: Uh huh. On (Subject #6)'s birthday, or around there. It started as a birthday party and celebration of a new member, for him. But we kept it going because it was cool to be together without it being cuz the world was falling apart or something.

DS: Well, good luck to you.

#3: Thanks Doc. We're . . done? You're getting your briefcase ready.

DS: Yup. We're done. That wasn't as bad as you'd feared, was it?

#3: No, well, I didn't know what this would be like. I just . . I didn't think we should have to go through this. It was sort of unfair that far and I didn't know how far the-the unfairness would go.

DS: I'm not here to attack you or trick you, just to see if you're in control of yourself and your powers.

#3: I am, Doc.

DS: I think we're done here.


	15. Beast Boy evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

BEAST BOY

The subject is one of the founding members of the Teen Titans and before that was a member of the crime fighting group known as the Doom Patrol. He now stands six feet tall and weighs 164 pounds. He is approximately 17 to 18 years old and has been fighting crime for more than six years.

The subject stands six feet tall now, with a slender, athletic physique. His appearance is distinctive because his skin and hair are green. He also has pointy ears and oversized canine teeth but it is his green skin which is his trademark. He has a single but amazingly flexible and adaptable power. With just a thought he is able to change his body from that of an athletic teenage boy to that of any animal that has ever walked, flown over or swam across the earth. He effortlessly performed four such transformations of himself in my presence. Despite sometimes turning himself into creatures which are quite aggressive, he retains his own mind, his ability to reason even when taking these other shapes.

A Nexis database search revealed news stories about Beast Boy fighting crime with the Doom Patrol as far as August 17, 2002, when the Gotham Chronicle ran a front page story with the headline "Whale That Carried Passengers of Doomed Ferry to Safety Was Actually a Member of The Doom Patrol". Beast Boy fought crime as a member of the Doom Patrol for nearly three years before joining the Teen Titans at the group's inception.

He has been the most popular member of the group and has acquired a reputation for patient dealing with the public even amid near stampedes by children and, especially, girls trying to meet him.

A review of his record found no incidents in his entire six plus years of crime fighting in which Beast Boy harmed an innocent person. He apparently had one brief episode of difficulty in controlling his changeling powers approximately two years ago but was nursed back to health and full command of his faculties by his teammates. For most of his career with the Teen Titans, Beast Boy was the smallest member of the group. After a recent growth spurt, he is now taller than Robin and the change in his appearance resulted in his doing modeling work for a car company as well as fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana, Calvin Klein, Christian Dior, Polo, Burberry and Armani.

The subject lost his parents in an accident that occurred shortly after he gained his powers. This tragedy has provided motivation for the subject and a template for his use of his powers. But he does not appear to have reacted with anger or a thirst for vengeance upon criminals as a result of it. In his time with Doom Patrol, his emotional needs do not appear to have been well met. This was part of the reason for his jumping to the new Teen Titans group. As a result of his lesser size and age, and a natural propensity for extroverted behavior, the subject's sublimated anxieties came to the surface in the form of something of a class clown personna within the group. It's worth noting that as the composition of the group has changed and the subject himself has changed, the frequency of his seeming the class clown has diminished.

The subject is intelligent and has an at least normally developed grasp of ethical considerations. He shows genuine sympathy for the downtrodden and absolutely no inclination to use his powers for personal gain. He has a very moderate temperment and fairly typical interests for a young man his age.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a physical condition that will affect his outlook or judgement. I contacted S.T.A.R. Labs requesting all pertinent data on the physical condition of Beast Boy. As with other subjects, S.T.A.R. Labs responded with a terse declaration that all such data was protected by the same doctor-client privilege as psychological information. They did provide the following:

"Beast Boy

age: Approximately 17 years

height: Six feet

weight: 164 pounds

fat percentage: 6 percent

chest: 38 inches

waist: 31 inches

hips: 36 inches

neck: 15 inches

bicep: 12 inches

thigh: 19 inches

calf: 12 inches

We have performed 4 complete physicals of Beast Boy including full body magnetic resonance imaging, CT scans, full blood, urine and biopsy testing using state of the art laboratory equipment and analysis. We still do not understand his ability to vary his DNA but our understanding of the data from all our tests shows no disorder limiting his physical capabilities or affecting his state of mind."

In my best professional judgement, I find that the subject, Beast Boy, does not constitute a danger to himself or others.


	16. A session with Cyborg

Author's note: Thanks again for the kind reviews. Once again, this is a transcript of a session between Jump City's psychiatrist conducting evaluations of the Titans and Cyborg. It begins with some notes made by that psychiatrist. And per negotiations with Robin, no Titans names were to appear in the transcripts. the names are coded as follows: Robin=Subject #1, Cyborg=Subject #2, Beast Boy=Subject #3, Raven=Subject #4, Starfire=Subject #5, Kid Flash=Subject #6, Jinx=Subject #7, Speedy=Subject #8, Aqualad=Subject #9

_26 May 2008_

_The next Titan to evaluate is Cyborg, the Titan whose wildly disputed actions became the basis for the City Council order requiring that I perform preliminary psychological evaluations of the team members. (Subject #2), as the name would imply, appears to be a young man of african american background whose body is part man and part machine. Exactly in what proportion is a matter only speculated upon in his Jump City Police Department (JCPD) file. He stands approximately six foot five and, if not part machine, would weigh approximately 270 pounds. The only parts of his natural body that are visible are his upper arms, half his scalp and his neck and face. The rest of him might be protected flesh or it might be machine. It's impossible to say, not that that stopped various police officers and JCPD personal from doing so. His file contained comments ranging from a claim that he's just a large athlete wearing protection, to a claim that only the skin that one can see when looking at him remains of his original body._

_There was also a lot of speculation about his abilities. Along with great, perhaps machine aided strength, he seemed to have all sorts of weapons, particularly in his arms, ranging from a sonic cannon, to some kind of laser cannon to all manner of projectiles. Furthermore, he is said to be capable of every sort of electronic feat, from recording things, to wireless telephone and computer communication using the machine parts of his body. There was one report alleging that he had detached one hand in the course of one fight and sent it ahead to scout on a group of villains and send back video of their lair but this could not be corroborated._

_The most salient issue from my perspective is how simply being what he is affects the psychology of (Subject #2). What sorts of thoughts go through the head of a young man who is not fully human? Does he feel a strong sense of alienation? Does it depress him? These were some of the issues I wanted to touch upon in my session with (Subject #2). _

_The waves were bigger than usual as I rode in the usual boat launch across the bay to Titans Tower. I almost felt a bit seasick. I was gratefull to reach the island and felt almost back to normal by the time I reached the top of the stone steps and pressed the buzzer at the entrance. _

_This time, (Subject #5) answered the door in, not surprisingly, an utterly cheerful mood. Oh, friend Silberman! She led me to the elevators and rode with me up to the 6th floor. She asked who I was seeing that day and I said (Subject #2). She turned what was, for her, very solemn and said that I should try to imagine how (Subject #2) must feel to have been unfairly accused of endangering someone and, as a result, to have made all his teammates sit through the session evaluations. Yes, she said it backward. I felt somewhat guilty about the whole thing despite not having done anything wrong myself. _

_She led me to the usual room and I had barely sat down when (Subject #2) walked in, a huge imposing presence clad mostly in metal and with a red left eye. He uttered a downbeat "Hi, Doc." He sat down in the chair opposite me, towering over me so that I spent the whole session with my head tilted slightly back to make eye contact._

DS: This session takes place at 2:06 PM on May twenty sixth 2008, Doctor David Silberman and . . .

#2: (Subject #2)

_(He handed me a dollar bill that had been somewhere in the palm of one hand)_

#2: Here ya go, Doc. (Subject #1) said I should give you that to put this on a different doctor patient footing.

DS: Yes, um, thank you.

#2: Well, here I am, the cause of all this, because I had the audacity to grunt and groan at holding up five tons of collapsing overhead walkway while saving a little girl's life.

DS: Please, I . . I don't want to get in a debate about the merit of this process. I've been required to perform these evaluations by Jump City. What can I say? (Sighs) Look, I'm-I'm usually not supposed to tell a patient anything said by another patient in that other patient's session. But you should know that all of your teammates made a point of telling me that they thought it was ridiculous that the City Council treated you this way.

#2: . . . Well, that's nice to hear, Doc. But I'm still here just like they were, so let's get started. I gotta admit that I asked some of my teammates what the heck these sessions were like.

DS: May I ask, what sort of answers did you get?

#2: Why should you get to know what they said about you when I'm not supposed to know what they said about me?

DS: Well, um . .

#2: Never mind. (Subject #5) told me that she beat you at word association, which IIIIII didn't even think was a contest. (Subject #7) said she kicked your ass and left you crying in the fetal position.

DS: She was a bit confrontational.

#2: (Subject #6) said it was . . okay. He said I could kind of use you as a sounding board.

DS: That's right. You can treat this as a therapy session rather than seeing it as just a confrontational sort of thing. I can do my work in a number of different ways.

#2: Okay, well, look, I know you don't want to have an argument about it but I just wanted to say that I was not threatening that little girl. I'd never do anything to hurt a little kid. I never have. And, frankly, that City Councillor seems like a racist, to me, to take some bizarre thing said about me by a four year old and run with it so that we all end up doing these sessions! It's crazy.

DS: There's nothing I can say in response to that.

#2: Is there anything in my file, you must've gone over my JCPD file to prepare for this, right?

DS: Yes.

#2: Is there anything in my file that says I ever . . ever hurt any innocent person?

DS: Nope. There isn't.

#2: That's a pretty powerful argument that I'm not a danger to myself or others, isn't it?

DS: It is. Very powerful. Let's just try and cover some ground, now, so that I can get a sense of who you are and how you think so that I can say whether or not there are any factors arguing otherwise. For starters, how . . how long have you been like . . that?

#2: _(Sighs)_ Bet you didn't ask (Subject #6) that way.

DS: Sorry.

#2: It's been 5 years since the accident.

DS: What happened?

#2: Car accident. Kind of ironic, actually. We were going to the robotics exhibit at the convention center. My father was driving . . . Our old car. I don't know why we had that stupid old car still. Dad used to like to show that he wasn't all about new things, that he could take care of something so well that it would last way longer than you'd expect. So, that car still looked new. It was the kind when airbags first came out and they only had one for the driver. Thing must've been 13 . . 14 years old, easy. No air bag for Mama. No air bag for me. But air bags don't protect you against fire, anyway, do they?

_(Long pause)_

#2: Mama died right away. For a long time I was pretty sure she was the lucky one. For a long time I wasn't even quite sure I was alive. We were on the way to my dad showing off his advanced neural receptive circuitry to the world. His company, (Subject #2's family name) Biotechnology was already a rising star. This was gonna make dad the Bill Gates of biotech. That's what he said, 'I'm gonna be the black Bill Gates, the black Steve Jobs all rolled into one!'. Momma was so proud. All it was was some circuits that could tell you had sent some kind of message down your nerves. It couldn't do anything, really, about translating it. No, that was still to come. I pioneered that, but you know what they say about necessity being the mother of invention.

DS: Your father must've felt horrible.

#2: . . . I guess. I was only awake intermittently for the first few months after that, just little swatches of consciousness, in a big pool of black. The black was better. When I was awake it was too painful to bear and I couldn't figure out what had happened to me. I could barely distinguish my nightmares from being awake, nightmares about being turned into one of dad's robots. By the time I was much awake, I was mostly screaming about where were my hands, where were my feet, where was half my head. And every time I woke up it seemed like there was new metal attached to me. I'd sit up in the bed and see that I had hands now, but they were metal hands, robot hands. And Dad would tell me all excitedly about all the features of the circuits and all the features of the robotics, how strong my hands would be. He'd arrange for little demonstrations so that I'd crush a baseball in one hand and things like that. He was all enthusiastic trying to pump me up and get me to see that I'd be able to do cool things. But that wasn't all that was there. And I could tell. He . . . he was happy for the opportunity to test his theories. It wasn't everything in him. But that was part of it. There was something about the way he smiled when I did something with my new hands or walked with my new legs. There was a pride . . . but it was a pride in the circuits, not me.

DS: Are you sure you weren't feeling anger at him for causing the accident and seeing him that way because of it?

#2: The assistants saw it to. I saw the way they looked at him. They looked queasy watching him sometimes, how he was more interested in the metal than me. They saw it too. He was more interested in the science of it, the science of me, in the intellectual achievement of it, than in me, his son. The assistants looked at me like a total freak and they had more feeling for me than he did.

DS: I'm sorry.

#2: Hey, Doc, it's not like I wasn't used to being a freak. I had a bit of a warmup for it. Try being the intellectual black kid in school. Try that one. The white kids were always like, what are you doing in our honors class? And the black kids accuse you of not being black enough. Not black enough? Like being stupid is black. What kind of black pride is that?! Maybe seeing Obama'll change some of that shit. I hope so. I vowed to beat 'em all at whatever their game was. There was nobody who played sports as hard as me, Doc. Nobody. The other black kids who said I was acting white because I liked school, because I liked learning all the science behind my father's company? I loved beating them. I used to go out of my way to bury them on the football field. And when we'd get our grades back in class, at the expensive private school dad was sending me to, I used to rub it in the face of those white boys. You only got a 90? Read it and weep! 100, sucka! Booya!! Oh yeah. I was gonna follow in dad's footsteps and I was gonna carry the ball further down field. Much further down field. I used to go to expos with him, you know, those trade show kinda things when I was 12 years and I would find flaws in what other companies were doing and proposing. That'll never work, dad, because they'll never get past the energy conversion issue trying to replicate the hydrolysis of photosynthesis in that polymer media! I was gonna be the head of (Subject #2's family name) Biotechnology before I was 30. Maybe before that. But instead, I turned into son two point oh, our new experimental prototype.

DS: Your bitterness seems . . fresh.

#2: I don't vent it, Doc. I just don't. You can call it bottling it up inside or whatever you want. I don't care. Tell me to share and connect and whatever the hell you want, I don't care. It's not me and it wouldn't work for me.

DS: _(Sighs)_ Well, this may surprise you but there have been studies done that showed that after a significant strategy, the people who fared best weren't the ones who dwelt upon it and very much explored their thoughts about it but the ones who ignored it, who sort of bottled it up and just went on.

#2: That doesn't surprise me because that's who I made it. Certain frames of mind are lethal to getting anywhere when you lose your arms below the biceps, your legs below mid thigh, parts of your insides and half your skull. Wallowing and recriminations are just death. Especially when nobody even knows if every new thing being attached to you is even gonna work. I went through 17 different hands, 12 different feet prototypes, different legs, arms, and a half dozen eyes. If I'd spent time feeling sorry for myself I'd still be back there in a bed in the lab trying on my third hand . . . Okay, now rotate your wrist counter clockwise. Hmm. Nothing. Try again. Again. Again. Again. No, Doc, if it seems fresh it's because I wrapped it all up nice and neat there in the bed in the lab and put it in the mental fridge.

DS: So, you were a high achiever before the accident but became a super high achiever afterward?

#2: With only losing half my body and a year spent as a science experiment in between.

DS: Do you ever experience rage at . . at your predicament?

#2: _(Sighs)_ You know, Doc, I actually worried about that at first. And then I found out a funny thing. Helping other people took away any impulse to feel sorry for myself. You don't moan 'why me' while pulling people out of a burning building. It feels great to help people. It's . . it's got meaning, Doc. You can give everything to it. And, hell, look at the rest of the team. We got a skinny little dude who's green. We got an alien girl with golden skin and two sorceress girls with gray skin. And one of the other guys is more obsessive about his stuff than I am about the T-Car and my circuits. I'm normal here, Doc. And I mostly built this place, Doc. This was gonna be a (Subject #2's family name) Biotech testing center. Bein' out in the bay was nice for not dealing with nitwit protesters and such. I built this place above the third floor and I re-did everything from there down. I-I couldn't bear to be seen in public as the robot boy I'd become. But I could work practically 24-7 with enough extension cord and I could do the work of 20 normal guys. So, I went to work and I built this place. I used to see, from behind the tarps, the guys dropping off steel and they'd ask each other how the hell the place was going up because nobody they knew was ever getting any work on the project and they never saw any workers stopping off here, just a few guys in lab coats. They'd leave and I'd go and pick up beams and girders and weld 'em in place with a torch out the end of one thumb or bolt 'em in place with one finger. That was my therapy, my way of getting used to what I am now, Doc. I put up a building.

DS: It's . . it's very nice. The-the black marble floors, the stainless steel and navy in the halls, it's very nice.

#2: Thanks. (Subject #1) helped at the very end. I had almost finished when the team started.

DS: How did you know to make it in the shape of a 'T' if the team hadn't started?

#2: Oh, that was just luck. The company had a permit from the City for 14 stories and we only had so much base available. So, to get the most floor space, you cantilever out at upper levels. If we'd been the Avengers or Defenders or something we'd have been shit out of luck.

DS: Do you ever feel depression?

#2: Now how the hell would I not feel depression, Doc?

DS: I mean, does it ever affect what you do?

#2: _(Softly)_ Sometimes. Not often. I try and keep busy if I feel myself sliding that way.

DS: It's nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know if that's any part of what you feel, but there shouldn't be any shame.

#2: . . . . . . . . . . . . . I know.

DS: Do . . do your friendships with the others help?

#2: Sure. I play games with Greenie and (Subject #1). (Subject #6) likes to come by and see what I'm doing. He's more curious than the others.

DS: Does they understand what sorts of things you're going through?

_(Pause)_

#2: No. Nobody really understands me, Doc. I play video games and I joke back and forth but there' isn't much beyond a certain point. I have all this stuff I have to deal with just to keep going. Physical maintenance of all the pistons and engines inside me. Computer maintenance. Batteries to charge. I mean, the others can do workouts or practice martial arts and stuff. I do that too, but the way I'm gonna get better is by making me the me that I'll be tomorrow, not working on today's me. I spend most of my time in my room or in the garage. (Subject #6) comes by sometimes. Like I say, little skinny ass is curious. I get that. And he's friendly. We're cool. But mostly the others just leave me alone. It's funny how I never said anything about it but everybody just knows. They just know. (Subject #6) joined the group and visited me kind of as a part of visiting everyone and he does it as part of keeping up those visits. Otherwise, when I went to my room no one else would ever follow.

DS: Do you want someone else to be there more often?

#2: I don't know, Doc. Some things I need to figure out some things for myself.

DS: Like what?

#2: Lately? Big things.

DS: Such as?

#2: Mortality. Immortality. Things like that. And I'm not gonna bat 'em back and forth with some orange haired speedster or green changleing, even if they are nice guys. They don't understand what it is to be me.

DS: What brought on those topics? You're not . . dying, I hope.

#2: _(Chuckles)_ No. This is embarassing to admit but it was one of little greenie's comic books.

DS: You read comic books?

#2: Yeah. Actually I do, when he leaves 'em around and I don't see anyone watching me. I know, Doc. I know. Spiderman and the Fantastic Four and Iron Man aren't real. They're just comic books. They're not real life like the things the Titans deal with. But they can be . . instructive, sometimes. Greenie was always pushing the Iron Man ones on me, thinking they'd appeal to me. And I'd tell him, look Grass Stain, it's about a guy who wears a suit. I'm the guy annnnnd the suit! It's not the same. Then, they had this six issue special, Hypervelocity. The gist of it was that Iron Man makes a backup of his mind, of his consciousness in case his body dies or is about to. And he gets shot with a special bullet and it all kicks in. His . . his mind downloads into a copy of the suit.

DS: And you started thinking about that?

#2: Yeah. The-the situation is different for me than for anyone else, Doc. It's not a true false question, alive or not. It's multiple choice. People can't even deal with two options. To be or not to be. That is the question, right?

DS: Right.

#2: And what if there was, to be less human, to be not human in body at all, to be in a cloned body etc etc etc. That Hamlet dude was going off the deep end with two ovals to fill in with his pencil, A or B. What if there were a half dozen more?

DS: More permutations of being . . . . I have to say that we've left my normal practice behind.

#2: Well try and stay with me, Doc. Cuz there's not just what I want to do as part of these questions, there's what I should do, too.

DS: How do you mean that?

#2: Well, you know what the weakest part of me is, Doc?

DS: No. I'm not sure I-

#2: Me. My muscles. My arm and leg muscles. My butt. My guts, what're left of 'em. When I first became this, the power that could be packed into the size of my legs and my arms was pretty much the same as I could get out of my muscles. But that's not true anymore, Doc. With new advances in robotics, hell, in machines of all kinds, I could be stronger if my arms were all robot. And what happens thirty . . forty years down the line when I get old? Should I stay weak when I can be stronger, when I can do more?

DS: I don't know.

#2: And what about insurance, like that Iron Man story. What happens if someone shoots me with some kind of projectile that kills me? What if I can get around that? What if I can protect against that ending it all for me?

DS: Can you?

#2: I'm already only half human physically and my brain, the way I think is already half computer. Where's the line?

DS: What makes a human being human?

#2: Right. Am I human now but if my body's 75 percent machine I'm not? Where's the line?

DS: That's a fascinating question. Bioethics and psychology are just starting to realize the possibility of these questions. What do you think the answer is?

#2: I don't know but this is the kind of thing I think about. What if I could make myself stronger, more powerful, a better hero but it meant being less human? Should I?

DS: I'm not sure what the answer is but you haven't yet, have you?

#2: Why do you say I haven't? I replaced my spleen with a mechanical substitute last month. I've still got internal organs damaged from the accident but limping along. I'm gonna become more machine even if I don't want to.

DS: Oh.

#2: But, here's the big question, Doc. What if you had a choice of death or going on as a consciousness in a machine, Doc? What would you do?

DS: I-I don't know. I've never thought of any such question. What kind of life would this be as a-a machine? How would I feel anything? Could I be happy?

#2: You could feel everything you feel now. I've got more than 2000 sensations put to computer code right now.

DS: Huh?

#2: From breeze across bare skin to the tastes of different ice creams to the smell of different perfumes to the sound of certain birds to-

DS: How?

#2: _(Points to the metal portion of his head)_ I've got messages going back and forth from brain to computer every minute of every day, doc. Gradually I learn how to decode some of 'em. If the same sensory message is sent each time I hear a robin chirp, then that's what that sound is in the brain. I write code that makes that same sound. I send it from my circuits and my computer to me brain. If it sounds the same, then, voila, I know how to make that sound be received in a brain.

DS: So you're . . you're starting down that road.

#2: I'm seeing if the road isn't a dead end. If it's not, then the question of whether or not to go on a road trip becomes a real one.

DS: Okay . . you can replicate the message of a sound, the real trick is to replicate the receiving mechanism that interprets that sound, right.

#2: Yeah, Doc. That's the bigger trick.

DS: And how would you create a personality? A disposition to be happy or sad?

#2: I don't exactly know. There's countless things to addrsess in trying to do it. Of course, there's the other direction, too.

DS: Huh?

#2: Cloning is going to become a reality very soon if it's not already. What if a person like me could make a clone and get off the machine treadmill completely, if he could transfer his mind to that body?

DS: I . . . . again, these are questions so far beyond anything I or probably any other psychiatric professional has considered

#2: It wouldn't be forever. It woudn't be immortality but . . . . . . I wonder . . . .

DS: Yes?

#2: Sometimes . . . . . . . . . sometimes I see (Subject #6) with (Subject #7) and I . . . . . . . . . . well, before they became Titans, we were all, kind of various degrees of miserable. Greenie wanted (Subject #4) but she didn't want him. (Subject #5) desperately wanted (Subject #1) but he only wanted to fight crime annnnnnnd there was me. But everybody was sort of miserable so you didn't feel quite so bad about it somehow. But the two of them . .

DS: Yes?

#2: Sometimes when the two of them are together. I can't explain it. I can't prove it, Doc but I know. I absolutely know. They wouldn't. They wouldn't choose it.

DS: Choose what?

#2: He . . . . . . . . . . he . . loves her. And she loves him. Sometimes just standing there in the great room waiting for (Subject #1) to give some sort of instruction, he'll wrap his arms around her from behind and kiss her neck . . . I mean, this is just a little thing, a little public display of affection. This isn't the two of them alone in their room. He'll kiss her on the neck and she'll turn her head and they'll kiss and when they finally separate, they both smile this, like, couldn't be happier smile and . . and I just know! They wouldn't give up their love if you said they could live forever without each other.

_(Long pause)_

DS: _(Softly)_ There's a kind of immortality in love, in the perfection of the happiness.

#2: _(inaudible)_

DS: _(Softly)_ So . . you wonder if that's what you should pursue rather than immortality?

#2: _(Softly)_ yes

DS: Take as much time as you want.

_(Pause)_

DS: Have there been any . . girls in your life?

#2: Doc. Look at me.

DS: In the, uh, file, your police file, there was a rumor that you and Jinx had once been an item. No?

#2: When she thought I was someone else. I was disguised with a cloaking ring to infiltrate the academy. She didn't see me as part machine. It made me look like the me I would be without any machine parts. We had a brief little romance of sorts at the HIVE academy.

DS: Does (Subject #6) know about it?

#2: Yeah. He knows. It doesn't matter. She and him, that's for good.

DS: Well, I don't know about romantic possibilities but I know your friends think the world of you and . . and you'll never meet someone and fall in love if you stay in your room or in the garage tinkering with machines.

#2: . . . . . . . . yeah.

DS: You seem like a very impressive young man. Maybe you should give it more of a chance to show outside your room and the garage.

#2: _(Nods)_

DS: Why don't we stop there?

***************

Author's note: Only 1 more Titan to go, his boywondership, but there'll be one more chapter even after his evaluation session and the evaluation summary.


	17. Cyborg evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

CYBORG

The subject is one of the founding members of the Teen Titans. He stands six feet five inches tall. His weight is uncertain. He is approximately 18 to 19 years old and has been fighting crime for approximately five years.

The subject has an impressively powerful physique suggesive of an NFL linebacker or tight end. But his body is at least part machine. The only parts of him that are visibly and definitely flesh are his upper arms, neck and face. His appearance is distinctive because all other surfaces of his body, including half of his skull are shiny metal alloys. The combination of his natural physique and the strength of his machine parts results in incredible strength. The basis for these evaluations was the reaction of a small child to his grunting effort while catching what was later estimated as perhaps five tons of debris. In addition to his incredible strength, he's able to deploy a wide and constantly expanding array of weapons from his machine hands, included sonic cannons, lasers and different projectiles. He is also something of a mechanical genius, having constructed Titans Tower himself as well as the team's cars. And he is constantly adding to the array of surveillance, tracking and communication devices used by the team.

A Nexis database search revealed no news stories about Cyborg fighting crime before the inception of the team approximately five years ago. A careful review of all available newspaper, news wire, web site, radio and television media turned up no instances of Cyborg ever harming an innocent person.

The subject lost his mother in the same car accident which greatly damaged his body and provided the impetus for attempting the experimental replacement of portions of his body with robotic prosthetics that respond to his every thought. As in many cases of similar tragedy, the affected party adopted a mindset of complete dedication in order to persevere through the incredibly difficult transition that confronted him. As is often the case in such circumstances, even after the most difficult part of the transition to his new life had been made, he kept the hyper-achiever mindset. This resulted in his mastery of the machinery and circuits that are part of him and his drive to constantly improve them. It resulted in his literally constructing Titans Tower and many of the devices the Titans use. This hyper-achiever mindset, always trying to improve, was likely behind his turning his burgeoning talents to fighting crime. It is also certainly a partial reason why he has not surrendered to either anger or depression at his predicament.

The subject is extremely intelligent with not only an acute understanding of normally relevant ethical considerations for a super hero but also abstruse philosophical issues relating to the nature of being human. He is a very thoughtful young man. He shows genuine sympathy for the downtrodden and derives sincere pleasure from helping them.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from a physical condition that will affect his outlook or judgement. I contacted S.T.A.R. Labs requesting all pertinent data on the physical condition of Cyborg. The representative of S.T.A.R. Labs with whom I spoke literally laughed at the suggestion that they would be able to adequately assess Cyborg's physical condition. I was told that they do not even perform physical evaluations of him as they simply do not have the ability to assess the status of his machine parts or the quality of their interaction with the human parts of him. All I can say in regard to biochemical and psychological interaction is that we know of no reason to believe that Cyborg's unique physiology iwill affect his mental functioning in a deleterious fashion.

In my best professional judgement, I find that the subject, Cyborg, does not constitute a danger to himself or others.


	18. A session with Robin

3 June 2008

_(Subject #1). _

_The boy wonder. The last Titan to evaluate. Their leader. _

_The Jump City Police Department (JCPD) had a thick file on (Subject #1). There was also a huge file on him transmitted to me by the Gotham City Police Department (GCPD). I read the latter first to try to get a sense of (Subject #1)'s career in a chronological order. It all related, of course, to his time fighting crime as Batman's sidekick. His career seemed to start at a shockingly early age as speculation was that he couldn't have been more than 11 years old when he began fighting alongside the caped crusader. It was his youth and amazing acrobatic and fighting ability which got him the nickname "the boy wonder", a nickname which the JCPD file says that he hates and which his teammates only use, on occasion, to tweak him. _

_The GCPD file was very positive toward (Subject #1) but with some of the same caveats as they seem to have toward (Subject #1's Justice League mentor). The GCPD openly admit that the streets of Gotham would be something out of one's worst conception of the wild west if not for (Subject #1) and his mentor. But the GCPD seemed to chafe at (Subject #1's mentor)'s and (Subject #1)'s insistent independence from the GCPD. Even after the infamous Zucco corruption cases and several others were prosecuted, the GCPD complained internally that the two crime fighters still treated all its officers as untrustworthy for accomplishing any task other than transporting thiefs and villains to their jail cells. Officers complained that even the boy had his own ideas about how to proceed on every case and simply wouldn't take orders from them. Here's one representative quote that was actually typed into a case file:_

_"When we arrived at the stakeout, the little skinny ass kid, five nuthing and probably not even a buck five, in his yellow cape, green speedo and elf shoes refused to do what we said. Three of us told him that that's what we were going to do and he'd better go along with it. He looked us right in our badges and said no. He said that it was too obvious and that the Joker wouldn't try to escape that way. Officer Clancy shoved said skinny ass crime fighter and was incapacitated for several minutes by the resulting blow to his soler plexus. We later aided the boy wonder in the apprehension of the Joker on the roof where (Subject #1) had somehow climbed and been waiting for him."_

_I should note that the GCPD is somewhat more casual with regard to files than the JCPD._

_The JCPD file on (Subject #1) is similar but with, perhaps, fewer incidents of friction between the police and (Subject #1). Also, when he came to Jump City, (Subject #1) changed his costume and no longer goes bare legged, wearing stretchy green briefs and, well, there's no other way to describe them but elf shoes. He kept the rest of his uniform and took up wearing green spandex pants and steel topped hybrid running/utility shoes. _

_The JCPD file on (Subject #1) was very positive, much like the file on (Subject #9). Officers marveled at his dedication and said that his grasp of the science of policing was amazing. It was also noted that his instincts on how to proceed with various cases never seemed to be wrong. There was a sincere appreciation from all officers, except perhaps Captain Doyle of the Metahuman Control Department, of how brilliantly (Subject #1) has led his team so that they augment the efforts of the JCPD. _

_The only blemishes of any sort in the file were some unsupported speculation by police sources that (Subject #1) somehow had something to do with the famous master thief, Red X. Given his otherwise impeccable record, this seemed like the stuff of tablid gossip papers and not a police report. _

_Also, much as was the case in the GCPD file, there were some grumblings by police officials that, while always helpful, (Subject #1) was impossible to budge when any issue involved the safety of the Titans or their standing in the community. He had, on numerous occasions, refused to have any Titans sit for polygraph testing in regard to their various cases and missions. "The nature of our members is such that we cannot trust that so-called lie detectors will accurately register the veracity or falsehood of our responses to questions. We must decline the offer," he'd said. His sort of standoffish attitude toward the police, never making his team subservient to them, would have ruffled more feathers if he and the Titans weren't so incredibly dedicated to their jobs._

_I pondered the question of (Subject #1) for two days. What, I wondered, had led him to leave Batman and Gotham and come to Jump? What was he, 14 years old and striking out on his own? In other circumstances such a boy would have been termed a "runaway". When he came here there was no Teen Titans team yet. Nevertheless, he was here. Why? Had they had some sort of falling out? There was no clue of any sort in either file. Attempts to question either (Subject #1) or (Subject #1's mentor) on this point have never elicited anything more illuminating than 'no comment'. _

_Also, what sort of mentality must he have to do what he does? He's smaller than the other boys on his team, only with his recent growth spurt reaching a height of approximately five foot nine. He has no super power as far as anyone can tell. Yet, he's perhaps the best fighter in the group and their leader. How does he do it and what, if any, are the psychological costs? _

_I took the usual boat launch to their island and was greeted by (Subject #1) at the door in his usual uniform, green spandex pants, yellow cape and red top with an eye concealing mask. He let me in without saying a word. He led me to the elevator without a word. We rode up to the sixth floor without a word and he led me to the usual room at a pace that certainly didn't indicate enthusiasm and, again, without speaking a single word to me._

_Something about him was definitely different from (Subject #6) and (Subject #8) that seeing those teen boys had clarified in my mind. The former, despite his striking appearance and the outrageously tight red and yellow suit had a very low key air about him, not someone seeking attention but eminently approachable. The latter was the epitome of the alpha male jock who in some hard to describe way was constantly open to your looking at him and perhaps even demanded it. (Subject #1) also had the air of the alpha male jock about him but oddly cut off from those around him. Confidence without communication being desired. He had an impenetrable reserve, quietly angry at or maybe just wary of the whole world. He didn't invite your looking at him or talking to him. He, frankly, communicated through stiff body language and stern facial expression that you'd better not. He communicated it very strongly. _

_I nervously remarked that I was both happy and sad that this was to be the last psychological evaluation of a Titan that I would conduct. (Subject #1) said nothing. He didn't flinch, move or flex. If not for his chest under his red top slowly rising and falling with his breathing, he could have been dead for all I could tell. He didn't react at all. He gave me nothing in response. I sighed and turned__ on the recorder._

DS: This session takes place at . . 2:17 P.M. on June 3, 2008 with Dr. David Silberman and . . .

#1: (Subject #1).

_(Subject #1 removed a dollar bill from one compartment of his utility belt and handed it to me, then settled back into his chair in a sort of regal pose, back straight, legs apart, arms stretched out along the arms of the chair.)_

DS: Well, this is the last evaluation I have to conduct. I hope your teammates told you that I'm not somehow conspiring against any of you.

_(Long pause)_

DS: You did talk about it with them? I'd expect that you would . . .

_(Very long pause)_

DS: Are you just going to sit there?

_(Very long pause)_

DS: You're just going to sit there and stare at me and give me the silent treatment?!

_(Long pause)_

DS: The-the others, . . your teammates, they cooperated. Even (Subject #7) who mostly made fun of me. She talked. Some of your teammates used the session to talk about whatever they wanted to talk about.

_(Long pause)_

DS: But . . . you're just going to sit there . . . ?

_(Long pause)_

DS: Alright, well, look, for starters, you're-you're not supposed to wear a mask in a session, okay? I made (Subject #8) take off his mask. You'll have to as well.

#1: _(grunts and removes his mask with some effort)_

DS: Gee, you've got very unusual eyes. Quite striking, in fact.

_(Very very long pause)_

DS: Oh come, on! What are you proving? What are you accomplishing? How can I do any sort of evaluation if you won't speak?

_(Very long pause)_

DS: If you won't give me even minimal cooperation then I have to report that back to the City Council. I don't want to but what choice will you have given me? I'll have to tell them that all the Titans cooperated except (Subject #1) who refused to speak to me. You know what they'll do then? They'll either order you held for observation or they'll consider your refusal to comply with their order for evaluation as de facto admission that you constitute a danger to others and yourself. Is that what you want?

_(Very long pause)_

DS: _(Sighs)_ This is foolish and you're not a foolish boy. Why are you doing this?

_(Pause)_

#1: Here's my statement! I've never harmed an innocent person. I've never harmed myself. Check the record. I'm no danger. Session over.

DS: No! Don't . . don't put your mask back on. That's right. The mask stays off. This session isn't over.

_(Long pause)_

DS: _(Sighs)_ That's all you want to say?! That's the end of the session as far as your concerned?! . . . . Look! I understand that you have a terrific record. I-I went over your Jump City Police Department file and your Gotham City Police Department file before coming here. I know what a great job you've done. I'm not trying to pick on you or be unfair to you. Didn't I eventually agree to all your security demands? You started off with eight demands when we began negotiating and I ended up caving in on all of them. Have-have I been unfair to you? Did the others, did-did (Subject #6) say I'd been unfair to him?

_(pause)_

#1: _(very softly)_ No.

DS: What was that?

#1: I said 'no'! Alright?! (Subject #6) was . . surprised at how . . fair you were to him.

DS: Surprised because he thought, like the others, that I was part of the City persecuting you guys?

_(pause)_

#1: Were we so wrong to think that? Why are we going through this process at all?

DS: But I'm not the City Council. I didn't vote to make you guys go through this. I'm just the guy who has to do this job. You don't have to see me in such an adversarial light. Some of your teammates did at first and then made it a sort of free counseling session. I'm fine with that. You can do that, too.

_(Long pause)_

DS: (Subject #1). I'm not here to hurt you and I can be of some help to you if you want.

#1: You think I need help? Is that it?

DS: I didn't say that. I said I might be able to help, if you want help.

#1: I know what you're thinking. Driven. Uptight. Probably just about ready to explode. You probably think I desperately need your help.

DS: I didn't say that or even think it. I came into this session with an open mind.

#1: Probably obsessive compulsive. Right? That's what you're thinking, right? Isn't it?! You think I'm sitting here anxiously trying to remember if I turned off the stove in the Tower kitchen or left an iron plugged in in my room! The others probably all joked about me and the case files, didn't they? Didn't they?!

DS: (Subject #1)! Calm down.

#1: _(softly)_ Oh god. I'm making your case for you.

DS: You're-you're not making a case for anything. You're a bit worked up about a situation you feel is unfair to you and that you can't control to protect your team. I understood that when we negotiated over this.

_(pause)_

#1: (Subject #2) would never hurt anyone. You met him. You talked to him. However tough I think I've had it, I'm still me. He's . . well . . you saw. All he does is work on his circuits and his abilities and make things for us. He built this Tower, mostly just him. He did. And he built our cars and our jets. He built 'em from scratch. And I saw him catch that falling debris in that mall. I saw it from across the food court. He saved that little girl's life and this is the thanks he gets for it and that we get for it. You're fucking welcome, Jump City. Think nothing of it. Oh, that's right. You already do.

DS: Is it your general sense that the City doesn't appreciate the work you and your team do?

_(pause)_

#1: Depends on who you say 'the City' is. The City Council puts us through this. The police have that ridiculous Captain Doyle and her 'metahuman control division' that doesn't differentiate between, say, (Subject #6) and Madame Rouge. Yup, all the same, according to her. Allllllllll the same. Metahuman is metahuman. What a stupid . . . .! It's a dumb term anyway. I think she got it from those X-Men comic books.

DS: Are you a metahuman? Do you have a super power?

_(pause)_

#1: No. I don't.

DS: Do you wish you did?

#1: What kind of question is that? Do I wish I did?! Do I wish I did?! Kind of irrelevant, isn't it? What's it matter if I wish I had super speed like (Subject #6) or the ability to morph into other forms like (Subject #3) or fly and throw star bolts or control black energy or throw hexes? What would it matter whether I wished for those things or not? They don't pass those things out. You got 'em or you don't. I don't.

DS: And, I imagine that that makes it harder for you?

#1: Of course it's harder for me! Do psychiatrists always ask such obvious questions?

DS: I'm sorry. Sometimes we ask dumb questions to make sure we're covering everything.

#1: Of course it's harder doing things without a super power. But, even though I don't have a super power to offer the team I give them other things.

DS: You give them your leadership.

#1: And I train them and make them better.

DS: You train the others, too? How?

#1: Well, not just running our team exercises but individual training too. I give all of them combat training. I try to teach them how to fight.

DS: Try?

#1: _(Sighs)_ (Subject #3) is hopeless. (Subject #6) could be the greatest fighter ever except that, well, basically he doesn't like hitting people, which, as you might imagine, is a bit of an impediment to becoming a really good fighter. (Subject #4) is actually pretty good. She's the best of the bunch. But she doesn't fight hand to hand much anyway. (Subject #5) is too damn mercurial. One minute she's into it. The next she's not. Sometimes she works some nice combinations. Other times she fights like a little girl in her Sunday dress.

DS: You left out (Subject #2).

#1: Well . . he's good but he's a strength guy, a power guy. I've taught him some things but a lot of what I specialize in is more effective for loose limbed quick reaction types. It's got a lot of applicability to him, but basically he works on his stuff anyway rather than take more fighting training.

DS: And, who trained you? (Subject #1's mentor)?

#1: . . . . . . . . yeah.

DS: That was oddly unenthusiastic. Did you not like the way he trained you?

#1: Did I not like the way he trained me? Hmm. Beating me up twice a day for three hours, never thinking anything I did was good enough and giving me no emotional support whatsoever after . . . . . Did I not like the way he trained me? No. I guess not.

DS: You said he gave you no emotional support whatsoever after . . . but you didn't finish. After what?

#1: No! Not that. I won't talk about that. This isn't some Good Will Hunting bullshit where you tell me it's not my fault and that magically makes it all better.

DS: Okay. Okay. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. How about, let me ask, what made you leave (Subject #1's mentor) and Gotham and come out here to Jump? There was no Teen Titans group when you came here, was there?

#1: No. Everything just . . fell into place, the four of us saving (Subject #5) from the Gordanians and (Subject #2) having practically finished the Tower already. It was just luck.

DS: Why were you here, though? You had such a terrific career as (Subject #1's mentor)'s sidekick back in Gotham.

#1: Ever since . . . that, I'd been with him. But the fact that he wouldn't . . couldn't ever . . help me iwith it. I-I was pretty stable already. I didn't need support by then but I couldn't take it that he'd never helped. I was so pissed. Every tiny little thing he did just set me off. We had some blowups.

DS: You had blowups with (Subject #1's mentor)?

#1: Yeah. Big time blowups. He was all 'I did the best thing to make you as strong as possible' and finally I told him, "You know what? You did such a good job of it that I don't need you! I can do this on my own and by the way, go fuck yourself!'

_(Pause)_

DS: You told the caped crusader to go fuck himself?!

#1: Yeah.

DS: _(Sighs)_ Okayyyy. Then, why Jump City?

#1: Totally random. Mostly just to be on the west coast and as far away as possible from Gotham.

DS: And how has it been leading a team? Has it been what you expected?

#1: I had no idea what to expect. Remember, (Subject #1's mentor) and I weren't a team. We were a Justice Leaguer and his . . . siiiiiiiidekick.

DS: You don't like that term much.

#1: I hated it. But it was pretty much true. He made every decision. We weren't two equals. We were him and his helper. (Subject #6's mentor) was a lot better to (Subject #6) but then, the villains they fight are so lame, maybe they felt less pressure.

DS: And leading a team . . . ?

#1: It's a lot of work. I have to try and look out for the best interests of six other people as well as my own. It's a lot of work. Sometimes I might want to be one of the irresponsible ones, but no, I'm the leader.

DS: Who're the irresponsible ones?

#1: The others, except for maybe (Subject #2).

DS: Don't they try to help?

#1: (Sighs) It's not that they never try to help. But if you're gonna help, do it right! I mean, fill out everything in the case file form for chrissakes! How can you justify not doing it all when you can type 5,000 words a minute? Don't substitute your own judgement for what counts and what doesn't. If the form asks for all the weather conditions, give all of 'em, is that so hard? And fricking (Subject #3) turned himself into a cat and he was typing it out that way, as a cat, typing out the case file with his cat's paws, like it was a game!

DS: If that's how he has to approach it to get it done . .

#1: Doc!

DS: He was trying to help, wasn't he?

#1: _(Sighs)_ Technically, yes.

_(Pause)_

DS: Do you let the other team members work their way through these tasks, fail till they get it right?

#1: Doc. The files have to be right. There's such an expectation out there that we're just a bunch of kids and that we can't be trusted, that our work will be sloppy. We have to be better than everyone else. Our communiques to Interpol have to be just right. Our information requests to the FBI and NSA have to be just right. Our information sharing with other groups, Doom Patrol and Justice League, has to be just right. If we screw up, there could be huge repercussions.

DS: So, what did you do after (Subject #6) left information off a case file and after (Subject #3) was doing one as a cat?

#1: I told 'em to clear out and I did 'em myself.

DS: Is that, in any way like how (Subject #1's mentor) behaved toward you?

#1: Doc!

DS: I've done some work in corporate situations and sometimes a very capable boss will freeze a company in place and prevent growth of his subordinates by an insistence on maintaining roles, by dismissing a subordinate's efforts whenever it involves a task typically belonging to the boss.

#1: So . . . you're saying I'm bad for the Titans?

DS: No! That's not what I'm saying! I'm saying that the others might be able to do more if you let them. Just because someone does something slightly wrong the first time or was doing it in a way different than you'd wish you probably shouldn't stop them right there. They wanted to help, didn't they?

#1: Yes.

DS: And why did they want to help?

#1: Jesus, Doc, I don't know.

DS: Couldn't it have been the case that they wanted to help you out?

#1: (Sighs) . . . . yes

DS: And in response you . .

#1: _(softly)_ Crapped all over 'em.

DS: Kind of an odd thing from their perspectives, don't you think? They try and lighten the load for their pal and he dumps on 'em in response.

#1: Okay, I was wrong. Are you happy?

DS: I'm not here to try and make you out to be the bad guy. I'm just here to talk and get at least some idea of how you think and if I can help you out a bit in the process, well, great.

_(Pause)_

#1: You know, I never intended to be like that. I vowed to myself when the team started. I wasn't gonna be the bat. I don't know how it got to this point. I-I don't like it myself. I don't like the others joking about what a hardass I am, calling me 'little bat', 'bat mitzvah', 'notorious b.a.t.' all that stuff, like I'm just another (Subject #1's mentor). And it's not just me shaping everyone else and their roles. They hem me in, too. Sometimes, (Subject #6) and (Subject #7) will be in their room laughing with (Subject #9) and things all get hushed if they see me come by, like I'm the bad guy. At last year's young heroes get together at the Tower it was the same way, three or four times. Watch out! (Subject #1)'s coming! Like I'm some sort of bad guy!

DS: Do you think the others have, to some degree taken advantage of your willingness to be the guy doing the dirty work to let you do all the dirty work?

#1: . . well . . I-I don't want to seem like a baby about it, but, yeah.

DS: What do you think you should do? How do you break out of that rut?

#1: I don't know. I was toying with the idea of changing everything. I hear (Subject #1's mentor)'s training a new kid. Maybe I'll go with a whole different uniform and name.

DS: Really?! That seems pretty drastic.

#1: Doc! I said I was just toying with the idea. (Subject #2) could lead this team. It'd probably be good for him to be out front more.

DS: Where would you go?

#1: Are you kidding, Doc? There are a lot of cities underserved, as it were, by heroes. We've got 7 Titans in Jump City now. Seven! And there are other cities with nearly as many people with no one. Look at . . Bludhaven. There's one. It's kind of a dump but it's got nobody. Cleveland. Raleigh-Durham. New Orleans. There are lots of places that should be better protected. Jump and Gotham aren't the only places that have citizens worthy of protection.

DS: What about your teammates? What about your friends?

#1: Well, I am real good friends with (Subject #6). But he can visit anyone anywhere in a second, so moving away from him isn't that big of a deal.

DS: What about . . (Subject #5)? Didn't you date her?

#1: . . . yeah.

DS: Well?

#1: It was over a year ago, Doc. She's hot and I was sort of . . fascinated by the way she is. But I couldn't live with it. God! It was too much. She made everything so stressful. She was so emotional. Everything was this huge emotional trial. Everything. If I wasn't out of my head excited with some flowers she's picked I'd get 'Why do you not like the flowers I have picked friend Robin?!' If I was taking extra time to finish some work I'd get 'Why do you not want to leave with me right now friend Robin?' Everything was like some sort of melodramatic test. And I kept failing 'em. Finally she couldn't take any more of that, which was fine with me because I couldn't take any more of her. So, no Doc, I wouldn't stick around for (Subject #5).

DS: Oh.

#1 Look, Doc, it's just something I've been thinking about a bit. But it's not a tragedy if it happens. We created something good here and it'll still be something good without me. And maybe if everyone else is forced into a new role, maybe everyone grows a little bit from it. Maybe I'll grow from not being like the bat toward other people.

DS: Okay. I can see that. I just have one other significant question.

#1: Okay . . .

DS: Why?

#1: Why what?

DS: Why do you do this? I don't get it. If I were (Subject #6) or (Subject #3) and I woke up in my early teens with super speed or the ability to change into any animal, yeah, I see how being a super hero is immediately the thing you think of.

#1: But . . I don't have a power so why would I do this? Is that it, Doc?

DS: It must require an immense effort of will to be as good or better without a power. Where is that coming from?

_(Long pause)_

#1: I said I wouldn't talk about that.

DS: Okay, okay. Well, how did you happen to be with (Subject #1's mentor)?

(Pause)

#1: Verrrry good, Doc. Very tricky. Get to the same information another way.

DS: I'm not trying to trick you. It was an honest question about which I was curious.

#1: Riiiiiiight. Well, I don't need you. I talk to (Subject #6) about everything. He knows about me. I know about him, too. I don't need to talk to you about it just because he talked to you about his background-He did, didn't he?

DS: You understand that I can't divulge what one patient told me in confidence to another patient.

#1: Never mind. I knew he would. That's the way he is. Assumes you can trust everyone and goes from there. His whole thing with (Subject #7) only left him more set in acting like that. Somebody's gonna take advantage of him some day and fucking kill him. They'll fucking kill him! And all I'll have to hang onto is 'I told you so'. That'll be a big consolation, huh Doc?

_(Pause)_

DS: Are-are you okay?

#1: I'm fine, Doc! Why shouldn't I be?! People die. Why get all worked up over it?

DS: It's not fine if (Subject #6) dies is it?

#1: Of course not! He's my friend. I don't want him to die. I don't want him to even be hurt. But he . . he looks at things in a crazy way. I mean, the bat's one thing, but (Subject #6's real first name) . . . For instance, even after . . . even after someone he cared about was killed. I watched him real close then, Doc. I mean, I offered him my support. But . . in the back of my mind, I was thinking, 'Okay, now he's gonna change. He can't be like that after losing . . this person. Now he's gonna see. Now he'll know'. I mean, he really cared for . . this person, really cared.

DS: Did you think your friend would become more like you?

#1: I . . yes! Alright? Yes! I don't understand why he didn't. He-he grieved and he mourned her loss and he was (Subject #6) again! It freaked me out. The . . the hurt was real. He was in pain. And then he was just (Subject #6) again. How the fuck . . ?!

DS: Was a part of you upset that he didn't change? Did-did whether or not he changed say something about you?

#1: What?!

DS: Would (Subject #6) changing have justified something to you?

#1: Doc! What're you . . ?

DS: Were you looking for justification for how you responded to what happened to you, whatever it was?

#1: _(leaning forward now)_ I don't need anyone's okay for why I am the way I am! My parents were murdered right in front of me!! Is that enough reason to be the way I am?! Alright?! Are you happy!?! Now you know! They were killed right in front of me! _(now softly and leaning back)_ and everything after that was completely different.

DS: I'm so sorry.

_(Very long pause)_

DS: Take all the time you want.

(Very long pause)

#1: _(Softly)_ How-how's a 10 year old boy supposed to respond to that? My dad was . . . I . . I wanted to be my dad. He was such a great guy. I loved my mom so much. It was everything it was supposed to be. I never thought for a second it would end. And then they were murdered . . . . . . right in front of me . . and I went to live with-with (Subject #1's mentor). It was all a haze. I just remember feeling like my heart had been ripped out of me . . and wanting to rip the heart out of whoever had done it. I wanted to get back at them.

DS: The people who'd murdered your parents?

#1: Not just them. Anyone who ever did anything like that. Every criminal everywhere. And I got taken in by (Subject #1's mentor). At first I thought he was just this-this guy. But then I realized he was (Subject #1's mentor). And I wanted to do that, too. I had to do that. Had to Doc. I pleaded with him and finally he said okay. He started training me, almost round the clock. It was brutal, Doc. I don't know if I'd done it if I'd known. But once I'd gone one step in, how could I not take a second. And after a second, why not at least try to take a third. It was brutal. I think half the time, there was one more person whose heart I wanted to rip out. But it served its purpose. I went from being this . . damaged boy to one seriously dangerous little motherfucker in about six months. And I started patrolling with (Subject #1's mentor) and it felt good. There were so many levels it felt good on, the people you helped, the crooks you hurt, oh yeah, it was payback time. And nobody pays back quite like (Subject #1's mentor).

DS: Did you ever get the people who murdered your parents?

(Pause)

#1: Someone else did. These other lowlifes that (Subject #1's mentor) and I sent to jail took them out. We only found out about it after the fact. I never got to catch those scum . . . . . . . . . I never had to see what I would do if I got my hands on them. I used to wonder about that while (Subject #1's mentor) was training me. I used to hit the heavy bag imagining it being one of those guys. I used to practice flying kicks imagining my heel breaking one of their noses. And I used to wonder what I would do afterward. Would I just . . quit? Kind of 'this is what I came for and now it's done'. I wasn't sure . . . . Or maybe I was. Oh hell, maybe I just wanted to tell myself that I'd stop. Maybe it seemed less . . obsessive. I . . I didn't want to admit it but all that pain, all that training changed me. And it didn't stop once I first went out on missions with him. I was training till the day I left. And, well, you remember I said that (Subject #6) could be the greatest fighter ever except for one thing?

DS: Right. Except . . you said he doesn't like to hit anyone.

#1: Exactly . . . . . . well, I don't mind hitting people, Doc. In fact, I kind of like it. I never hit anyone innocent. I'm not indiscriminate for chrissakes. But I like a fight. I enjoy it. I kind of knew how I was changing. I wanted to think I could walk away. Those scum took away my mom and dad. If I let them make me something completely different, is that giving them something else? Is that one more victory over my family? My parents didn't know this version of me. Who was this new guy? It wasn't who my parents had wanted me to be. But the truth is I enjoy what I do. And I enjoy doing it right.

DS: So . . when your good friend, (Subject #6) experienced a great loss, you thought that maybe if he went through the same thing, the loss and the pain and the reaction to it that he would understand you better. Maybe you wouldn't feel quite so alone. But he processed it differently.

#1: . . . . . . . Yeah, I guess. He . . . he's weird.

DS: We all are, to each other.

#1 We're all damaged goods, Doc. Everyone on the team, I mean. Maybe that's why we all do it.

DS: Well, I'm really more concerned with the hows. Sometimes the whys lead to the hows but sometimes a bad why still ends up with a good how.

#1: I try to do it the best I can, Doc. I really couldn't be any more dedicated to doing this as well as possible. I've never hurt an innocent person. And I never knowingly will. Maybe I act like a bit of a jerk sometimes. But it's just from trying to do my best.

DS: I think I understand. Why don't we stop there.


	19. Robin evaluation summary

EVALUATION SUMMARY

for

ROBIN

The subject is one of the founding members of the Teen Titans. Before that he fought crime alongside Batman in Gotham City. He stands five feet eight and a half inches tall and weights 143 pounds. He is approximately 18 years old and has been fighting crime for approximately seven years.

The subject has the physique of an olympic gymnast, and is renowned for his leaping, tumbling and climbing ability. In addition, he's reputed to have achieved black belt status in at least five different martial arts fighting methods. The subject has no super power and is not a "metahuman" as such but has a genius for organizing and forming strategies and is the acknowledged leader of the Titans. In addition to his ability at hand to hand combat he utilizes a collapsible bo-staff and projectile disks of various function called "birdarangs".

The subject was tutored in crime fighting by the formidable Batman and, in turn, tutors his teammates. He also serves as the team's liaison to Interpol, other metahuman crime fighting groups, the Jump City Police Department and other local and national law enforcement and security agencies.

His first known appearance as a crime fighter was on May 17, 2001. It was noted in the next day's issue of the Gotham Times in an article headlined "Batman and Unknown Boy Subdue Bank Robbers". A Nexis database search from that date forward revealed more than a thousand separate incidents of public notice of Robin fighting crime with no reported instances of Robin harming an innocent person.

The impetus for the subject's entrance into the profession of crime fighting was personal loss. The pain of the loss was so great that it galvanized the subject into action at a very young age, enabled him to endure an extremely difficult training process under the direction of Batman and led him to patrol beside the caped crusader. In some cases such as this, the change in a person's psychology is so great, and the specific desire for revenge so great that transgression across ethical boundaries becomes almost inevitable. I don't believe that is the case for Robin. While his devotion to crime fighting is so complete that it sometimes causes him friction even with other team members and auxiliary Titans, there is simply no record of either a violation of rights or indifference to rights as would certainly have resulted in seven years of ardent crime fighting if ethical standards no longer superseded desire for vengeance in the subject's mind.

But, because of the subject's noted intensity, I further reviewed the available psychiatric literature on the topic. I found that typical warning signs that usurpation of the pre-eminence of ethical standards in the mind of a police officer by lust for vengeance is imminent, are identified by Vaughn and Travers (2005), James (1999) and Standrowicz (1996), the seminal papers on police violence in psychiatric literature. These studies, together reviewed the cases of some 1500 police officers of various jurisdictions who were disciplined, suspended or fired for having engaged in a brutal or vengeful pattern of behavior. These studies are relevant as the essential nature of the subject is as an agent of the law, even if the subject is not specifically a police officer. The warning signs cited include an excessive focus on one suspect beyond what is merited by the available evidence. This is believed to by symptomatic of some aspect of a suspect triggering the officer's identification of the suspect with the party ultimately sought for cathartic vengeance. It is believed to be a signal that the locus of the officer's decision making is in the process of switching from ethical standards of conduct to that of closest identification with the party sought for vengeance. A second sign is reckless decision making in the apprehension of a suspect, indifference to the life and limb of bystanders and a pattern of questionable decisions as to how a suspect is apprehended which consistently result in the necessity of physical violence upon suspects. Another sign is indifference to the well being of suspects both during apprehension and under custody. This is obviously symptomatic of an officer's inability to control a rising desire for vengeance in the dangerous context of a suspect completely under the sway of an arresting officer. It includes delay in bringing medical care to perpetrators and the whole gamut of behavior typically explained away afterwards with such claims as that a suspect "tripped and fell" on his way into the station house or "forgot to duck his head" when put in the arresting officer's car.

With the help of officer Winston Taylor of the Jump City Police Department, I reviewed more than 200 cases in which Robin was prominently involved. I could not find any evidence in any of them of his indulging in any of these behaviors noted as likely precursors to a substitution of desire for vengeance, particular or generalized, for ethical standards.

The subject is very intelligent with an amazing recall ability noted by more than one police officer in both his Gotham City Police Department and Jump City Police Department files. He understands both complex legal and ethical issues. He shows genuine sympathy for the unfortunate and downtrodden, likely from self-identification with their plight due to his earlier loss. He seems to derive sincere pleasure from helping them.

Most evaluations such as this would include a physical to determine if the subject suffers from any physical condition that will affect his outlook or judgement. I contacted S.T.A.R. Labs requesting all pertinent data on Robin's physical condition. I was informed that all such data is privileged by the doctor patient relationship in the same way that the information between a patient and psychiatrist is. Nevertheless, S.T.A.R. Labs was kind enough to provide the following information:

"We have performed four complete physical evaluations of the Teen Titan known as "Robin", including complete blood, CT and MRI as well as other analyses using start of the art equipment and processing techniques. Robin is in amazing physical condition. We are not aware of any illness or ailment from which Robin suffers which in any way impairs his judgement or mental functioning.

Robin

Age: Approximately 18 years old

Height: Five feet eight and a half inches

Weight: 143 pounds

Fat Percentage: 1.7 percent

Chest: 40 inches

Waist: 30 inches

Hips: 36 inches

Neck: 15.5 inches

Bicep: 13.5 inches

Thigh: 22.5 inches

Calf: 14.5 inches"

In my best professional judgement, I find that the subject, Robin, does not constitute a danger to himself or others.


	20. Betrayal

_Author's note: I want to thank the reviewers for their kind words. As noted previously, I could be picked up by the vice squad as a praise whore. As you'll be able to tell, I found the Madoff thing fascinating. This chapter's kind of long but I didn't want to break it into 3 parts. And, for the record, I had to look up the lyrics of that show tune. I don't know any, not that there would be anything wrong with it if I did!_

***&&&^^^%%%$$$###

Dr. Silberman never intended to betray the Teen Titans.

Far from it. He couldn't say so to them in the course of their evaluations, but he agreed that the City Council had behaved like a bunch of children. As near as he could tell, Cyborg hadn't done anything wrong. And yet, there they all were, forced to sit down with him, the city's representative, and prove that they were not crazy or unbalanced. Considering that they were teenagers, they had actually been very well composed, all of them in making a protest or two at how ridiculous the situation was.

After meeting with them and speaking with them, Dr. Silberman had affection for all of them. They were putting their lives on the line every day and what had it gotten them? Not even enough respect that the City could set aside the wild claims of a councilor's four year old daughter. And they were all quite likeable. How could you not like Kid Flash? Or Raven? Even Robin! That had been surprising. After an initial negotiation that had been like some kind of mental warfare, he turned out to be just a deeply hurt teenage boy doing the best he possibly could.

Dr. Silberman felt quietly proud that he had protected them, that his evaluations had shown that none of them were dangerous and that the City Council had been forced to back off. There had been a big confrontation with Captain Doyle, the Metahuman Contol Officer at the Jump City Police Department on the way out of the City Council chambers after delivering the nine evaluation summaries. She'd been furious. How could you say this one isn't a danger?! Or that one?! Frankly, the way she behaved was totally unhinged. She wanted all of them locked up or restricted or wearing ankle bracelets or something. It wasnt' exactly clear. She had some tremendous animus against them but it didn't make much sense. Kid Flash . . is a danger?! What?! Aqualad . . a . . menace?! Simply laughing in her face then walking away was probably the right thing to do. She was the one acting like a walking advertisement for abuse of power.

And the evaluations had been a boost to his prestige at the University too. All the people he respected, Crawford, Renko, Mueller and Furlani, had liked the way he'd handled things, playing it straight down the line.

Even his daughter seemed to accord him newfound respect. He was no longer a man who "talks to crazy people" as he'd overheard her describing him to her friends. He was the guy who'd "met and talked to the Teen Titans for, like, hours!" Shrieks.

One Saturday afternoon shortly after it was over, she and her friends descended on him in his den, at first trying to play it cool but then begging like ravenous dogs.

What's Kid Flash like, Mr. Silberman?! Are he and Jinx still together?! Is he as cute as he looks on TV?! Shrieks.

He has the greatest butt ever, doesn't he?! Double shrieks.

Is Beast Boy as cute as he looks on TV?! Shrieks. Green can be beautiful! Shrieks.

You met Aqualad, too?! Shriek upon shriek. Shriek shriek shriek.

That Speedy is sooooooo cool, isn't he? Shriek shriek shriek.

He self consciously asked them to leave him alone so that he could do some paper work, knowing that being a person who didn't think anything of meeting the amazing Teen Titans made him easily the coolest dad in his daughter's entire school. And then he parceled out a meaningless morsel or two of information.

Oh yes. There were a lot of fringe benefits to having been the psychiatrist who evaluated the Teen Titans. His neighbor, Bob, the former high school football star, who'd previously disparaged him as a "geek shrink" would now lean over the hedge and after some preliminary small talk casually ask about "that one in the short skirt, Starfire". Dr. Silberman toyed with him, telling him only that sex is a completely casual thing on her planet. "We had a few hours to discuss it." Let Boob, as he liked to call him, stew over that one.

More importantly, he imagined that this might be his entry into regular work with metahumans. Sure, the villains could be dangerous, but it was an exciting new field. Hadn't S.T.A.R. Labs put out feelers to the University? What if we need some doctors to evaluate metahumans? Could the University help us with such staffing needs? Well, he would be the go to guy, wouldn't he? He'd just done preliminary evaluations of nine different metahumans, well, seven if you don't count Robin and Speedy, but you may as well for how far off the charts those two are. He imagined a future doing work for S.T.A.R. Labs.

The more he thought of it, the more enticing it seemed. No more listening to rich women whine about how their mother liked their sister better. Look what she got in her trust fund?! Waaa! Waaa! There was no discharging some of those patients. They liked the feeling of importance that someone was being paid to listen to them drone on about the stupid little slights they imagined into meaningful things. He longed to shout "Shut the fuck up!", just once, to one of them. Shut the fuck up! Grow the fuck up! Move on with your life already! Quit obsessing over stupid little shit! There were patients who were overcoming serious trauma but they were distinctly outnumbered by the vanity cases.

Talk to Kid Flash, Raven, Aqualad and Robin or to some rich woman about her ennui. Talk to Cyborg about the nature of being human or talk to Mrs. Gellman about her germophobia. Tough call. Tough tough call.

But then S.T.A.R. Labs deferred the staffing request made to the University. That wasn't such a big deal. It was going to happen in just a few more months, right? That's what Renko and Crawford said. They're contacts told them it was just some procedural snag of some sort. But, after a few more months, they suspended or deferred the request. Different people at the University said different things. Did it really matter? One official term or another. Everyone agreed that what was really going on was that S.T.A.R. Labs had chosen to partner with another University. He had been the only positive factor in S.T.A.R. Labs even considering the University, in the end. In the end, the others with their stupid, parochial research topics such as the frequency of sadness, parental favortism and adult emotional attachment to pets had dragged him down. He almost shouted at Mrs. Gellman the afternoon that he found out. The prospect of listening to her insipid whining for who knows how many more years . . !

No, Dr. Silberman had not intended to betray the Teen Titans. He'd found himself intensely interested in news reports of their activities, stopping to watch brief footage on television and read all available newspaper and magazine stories. He even furtively checked in on the various tv tabloid stories that Jinx was pregnant by Kid Flash, stories which such outlets were trumpeting in June but quietly dropped by September when she was still not "showing". Dr. Silberman identified with the team members imagining that he could predict the interaction of their various personalities at public ceremonies and high profile villain apprehensions.

So, when TMZ, the Enquirer and the others had first made contact, he'd been quick to tell them to fuck off. Oh, they'd been pretty clever. They never contacted him at his home or his office. One day, somebody in line behind him at Starbucks started chatting him up. Hey, I've seen you! You're that shrink, that doctor, the one who talked to all the Teen Titans. Dr. Silberman's chest puffed out, just a bit, and stayed that way, till, a few minutes later, when, finally leaving the place, the conversation abruptly shifted and the guy turned out not to have run into him by accident. He started hinting at money for information. Dr. Silberman threw his coffee at the guy and felt damn good about himself for having done so. He wished he could have told Robin right then. He idly wondered if Robin saw that on some security camera. I protected you guys! I protected you!!

The next time, a few days later, happened in the supermarket and it went exactly the same way. Hey, I've seen you, followed eventually by a half whispered, "we're prepared to offer you a lot of money for information". The stock boys had never seen one customer intentionally knock over another's shopping cart like that.

No. Dr. Silberman had been resolute in protecting the Teen Titans, at first. If he, himself, hadn't been betrayed, it wouldn't have happened. Even after his disappointment with missing out on working with S.T.A.R. Labs. He could always transfer to that other school, the one that seemed about to partner up with S.T.A.R. Labs. They'd want him, wouldn't they? Did they have anyone on staff who'd had sessions with nine superheroes? Had anyone else anywhere done what he'd done? He didn't think so. Even if they had anyone who'd ever sat down with a metahuman, how would they ever be able to cite it, to put it on their resume? But he'd done court ordered evaluations of the Teen Titans. He could put it right there, openly, on his resume without violating any doctor-client privileges. Yes. A transfer to that school was definitely a possibility.

Of course, his wife wouldn't like it. She liked Jump City. Jump City was considered more stylish than Star City. Things like this meant the world to Sylvia. They just had to climb the social ladder. Oh, she knew enough, married to a psychiatrist, to not say ugly things quite so openly. But what else did it really boil down to? And she had been the one to insist that they try to get into the prestigious Jump City Country Club. If they'd never gone into that den of Polo clad phonies . . !

It'd been Jaffe who'd gotten them into the whole scheme. Sylvia had been social climbing with grim determination. She'd set up status base camp among some of the other newbies and volunteered for various committees. Within a year, her extra work and brown nosing had gotten her next to those who dwelled in such rarified air of influence that oxygen was practically necessary to pass among them. It was Sylvia's damn fault! She'd gotten in tight with Jaffe's wife. Jaffe, the board chairman. Jaffe the financial guy. Silberman couldn't have picked him out of a lineup. And he didn't care. But Sylvia was adamant. We're going over to the Jaffes! Fine. Whatever.

He played the game a bit. He brought out his cocktail party big gun. Yeah, I spoke to all the Teen Titans. What are they like? He couldn't even remember what he said. He never really said anything to people who asked. He wasn't about to tell some self-important country club jerk about patients. He could usually steer the conversation to innocuous things about appearance or voices or who was friends with whom that were already publicly available. Jaffe's wife, who he suspected was an exercise addict asked about Kid Flash. Does he really look like . . . Silberman nodded. Zero percent body fat. The woman had to steady herself on the counter. The Jaffes seemed impressed with his connections. The Teen Titans, for god's sake! And Sylvia deftly worked Mrs. Jaffe. He could almost see Sylvia planting a flag on her head, the top of the social climbing mountain. He'd at least been her status sherpa for the last part of it. Fine. But that's all it was, a social thing. A connection at the country club he'd never wanted to be part of anyway. He was glad to be driving home and done with it at the end of the evening. He'd practically had to pry Sylvia out of there. But it was done. They'd had their little social contact with the Jaffes. Now he could ignore all that crap again.

That's why it was so surprising when, the very next time they met, Jaffe put the arm on him. We've got an "in with a sure thing", was what he said. Bernie somethingorother was the guy's name. 12 percent every year.

Every.

Year.

Down market? So what? 12 percent returns on your investment. But only for select people. I don't make this offer to many people.

Dr. Silberman blanched. He'd seen the report of their accounts. Like everyone else's in late summer 2008, they were tanking. He and Sylvia had lost a quarter of the value of their account in just the last few months.

12 percent every year.

He asked Jaffe. How can that be? Jaffe answered but he couldn't make any sense out of what he said. Fund of funds? Market . . maker? Split-strike investment method? What is all that?

Jaffe tried to explain. It just got more confusing. Jaffe talked about others at the Country Club who were now invested with his man, his sure thing. Fairfax and Weisz and Rousseau. They were in. He made it seem like a special gift to be allowed into their group. Silberman would've admitted his ignorance of all things financial at the slightest prodding. He didn't know what to make of Jaffe's explanation. But he knew that guys like Weisz and Rousseau made dollars multiply like rabbits. If they were in . . .

He wasn't very resistant to the pitch but he was the voice of caution compared to Sylvia. This was just one more way of being tied in to the social elite in Jump City. She would have run their check books over to the Jaffes that night if he'd let her. Things officially occurred a few days later. They cashed all their accounts and sold their timeshare and put it all with Jaffe's guy Bernie.

Two weeks later, Dr. Silberman felt a bit like a guy who had been the last one on board Titanic, like an unfortunate who'd jumped from the pier onto a rope hanging over the side of the Titanic and climbed up just as it left port in England.

Ponzi Scheme! That's what the headlines blared. Fraud. It was all a fraud. Jaffe's guy Bernie hadn't been a genius. He was a crook. The money was gone. It was all gone. Every last cent!

He read the first stories in shock in his office. Hold all my calls he told the secretary as he spread the Wall Street Journal out on the desk.

Ponzi scheme.

New suckers pay off old suckers. He felt the blood almost refuse to move within him. He could scarcely draw breath. All the money was gone. The savings of almost 20 years of work, gone. And he'd been among the last suckers before the whole crooked thing had been exposed. There was an angry call to Sylvia. He allowed himself that. You just haaaaaad to get into that country club! You just haaaaaad to work your way into the inner circle, to the Jaffes and the other lead snakes! We just haaaaaaaad to go in with Jaffe and his sure thing! Well, the only thing I know for sure now is that all our money's gone! Slam.

He'd looked down at the phone as the noise almost echoed in his office. He'd had to allow himself that. He couldn't have stayed perfectly composed forever. A lot of people didn't even try. After a third guy took a swing at Jaffe, he'd had to stay away from the Country Club. It was a crazy atmosphere there. Everyone knew it wasn't right to punch another adult in public over financial issues. And, yet, everyone smiled at Jaffe getting smacked. Silberman felt even worse when he heard the explanation of everything out front of the club one evening. It was his last visit to the place. he wouldn't be able to afford dues any more and the prices at the bar and restaurant were outrageous. He was waiting next to the valets for his car and overheard a guy he'd only seen there a couple times, a guy who seemed equally ambivalent about the place explaining to one of the help. There were innocent people conned into investing with Mr. Megafraud, he said. But some of the others who got cleaned out thought that he was cheating in a different way. It was fairly complicated the way the guy explained it, but Silberman thought of Jaffe's attempted explanation when he'd questioned him as to how the guy did it. The two explanations were the same thing! One was said deceptively and one was said openly. Jaffe thought the guy was cheating on the rules and thought it was great. Only it turned out his 'sure thing' was cheating him! Silberman had a hearty, bitter laugh at the irony of the situation but then went home to interminable pondering about what they would do. The evenings with Sylvia were brutal. For all her status lust, he had kept her spending relatively in check so that they could build up a retirement nest egg and pay for their daughter's college education. Now that moderate frugality had been wasted.

What could they do? Their savings for their retirements had been wiped out. And there was no way to make it up.

Unless . . .

No!

No. He wouldn't even think of it long enough to form the thoughts and then dash them away. He wouldn't do that! He was a doctor and he had his pride. That was that. He and Sylvia would just have to slowly build things back up to where they'd been.

When they came again, he wondered how they knew to try? He was ashamed to acknowledge to himself that a part of him wanted them to approach him again. Did they know that he'd been a member at Jump City Country Club and that so many members had lost all their investments thanks to Jaffe letting them in on his "sure thing"? They didn't even bother faking the circumstances of their running into him at Starbucks or the pharmacy, this time.

"Dr. Silberman. We'd like to talk to you about . . . them. We can make it worth your while."

He said he wouldn't discuss his patients. He didn't bother to ask who "them" was. How much did he mean it? He wondered himself as he paid for his double latte. He used to get the triple. But now . . .

As he stepped outside with it, he knew there was no chance he would throw this one.

The conversation was very quick and business-like. The Titans, Doc. Money for information.

Articles in the Enquirer and pieces on TMZ and the like could be successfully attacked in court if they didn't have any factual basis to them. If they had just a little bit . . hehe, well.

He felt like he was moving in a trance. He almost didn't know where some of his own words came from. Auction. Thursday. Where had that come from? Did I even think that before talking to that slimy guy?

And along with seemingly unknown thoughts, Dr. Silberman now had a category of thoughts which were impermissable. Through a constant and exhausting process of mental segregation, Dr. Silberman avoided thinking about the Titans themselves in any other manner than simply brief mentions of the word "Titans". For that short period he may as well not have known exactly what they looked like from two feet away or their stories. A sort of limited denial.

It enabled Dr. Silberman to buy a disposable cell phone. He got the four parties bidding on a conference call. The Enquirer's final bid of $950,000 won. He couldn't quite get them to a million. Two days later, Dr. Silberman met for the proffer meeting. He was to give some hint of what he knew and could tell before they officially signed to pay him. He wore sunglasses and the brown suit that he didn't like, the one that always just sat there in the back of the closet, the one he'd be sure to never wear again because it would be associated with this. He parked three blocks away from the building. When he met them, they were seedy and slimy, just as reeking of moral corruption as he'd expected. He'd felt a desire to tell them to fuck off welling up in him. The wall of mental segregation collapsed. He thought of Kid Flash's parents utterly neglecting him, of Beast Boy losing his and Robin having his killed right in front of him. They'd been so wary of him. He remembered Jinx lambasting him. He came close to walking out of the room a couple times but he stayed. They had already printed out the check. They lay it down on the table in front of him.

_Nine Hundred Fifty Thousand_ dollars

payable to _David Silberman_

Why couldn't Jaffe have taken these people? They belonged together, these people and Jaffe! And Sylvia! She read the damn thing! Oh, she tried to hide it. It was bad enough that she read that People magazine and US weekly crap. She left those out on the coffee table in the living room. But every so often he would find a copy of The Enquirer in the trash. No, he didn't belong with them even if Sylvia did. But all of their money was gone. And there was $950,000 on the table, just inches from his fingertips.

"How 'bout a taste, Dr. Silberman?"

They kept saying "Dr." Usually he liked it. He'd worked so hard in school. He deserved it. But now he'd just as soon they were calling him "Dave" or "Mr. Silberman".

"We'll let you get your notes and bring them tomorrow. But first a taste, Dr. Silberman? Just a few morsels. Any freaky sex going on there?"

"Any gay or lesbian shit, Dr. Silberman?"

"They got some super hormones going through their veins, Doc, don't tell me the Kid Flash boy and the Jinx girl are the only ones hooking up!"

"There must be some really juicy stories about their backgrounds, too, right?"

His stomach suddenly ached. He was sweating. He felt a throbbing at his temple. He felt like he was in league with Kid Flash's awful parents, with the people who'd killed Robin's, with Trigon, with the Gordanians, with the kids who'd relentlessly taunted Jinx, with Cyborg's failied spleen. He was going to puke. He was sure of it. He spoke as much just to get out of there as anything else. "All-all four. Not just among the seven in Titans West, but you've got a yes on all four points. Really freaky. Really alternative. And a lot of other hookups. And you won't believe where some of them come from, not just Starfire."

Did he say more? He wasn't sure. The room practically exploded with the excitement of the four executives. Luckily they were satisfied. He couldn't have said another word if he'd wanted to.

"Excuse me!"

He rushed out to the bathroom. He puked into the first toilet stall he came to. He puked three times. But the vomiting wasn't as loud as the word going through his head. "Traitor!".

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

One of the four slimy executives came into the bathroom afterward, asking if he was okay. Yeah yeah, he brushed him off. Fish or shellfish. He couldn't remember five seconds later which excuse he'd given him. He didn't even see him leave. He just noticed, looking in the mirror before washing up that he was alone. But not quite. There it was. The check. He didn't even remember taking with him as he got up from the table to rush out to the bathroom. There it was, folded in half in his dress shirt pocket. It wasn't even a classy check, just a plain blank blue background. Could an outfit like that do anything with style? Anything!? And now he was one of them. He was their source on the Teen Titans. He washed his face and dried himself with paper towels.

Still not over the edge. Still not over the edge, he realized. What did they have? Yes on all four points. What could they do with that? He wobbled and leaned on the counter for support.

And then his phone went off. It was Sylvia. The travel agency was looking for the rest of the money on the trip next summer, the one they'd scheduled six months ago. Remember, David. Only so many slots. Reserve now. Blah blah blah. The usual bullshit pressure tactics, as though all Paris would be full for summer 2009 before the end of 2008.

There was a long pause.

"David? Are you there?"

He had the phone to his right ear but his eyes were directed downward to the pocket on the left side of his dress shirt.

"Daviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid?"

" . . . fine . . . yes."

"Yes . . send in the rest of the balance?"

"Yes . .send in the rest of the balance. We'll . . we'll work something out."

***$$$***$$$***$$$***

At Titans Tower, Robin crushed a pen in one green gloved hand as he rose to his feet from the seat at the communications center console.

"I knew it! I KNEW IT!!"

He spun around toward the great room and the giant tv screen. He wanted to sprint. He had to tell them! He thought Beast Boy and Cyborg might be there playing video games but there was no one. He spun around toward the kitchen. Was Starfire making one of those horrible casseroles, or maybe Raven getting some tea? Nope. There was no one.

He started running down the black marble floored hallways. He went past the elevators and down the stairs without even thinking to himself exactly where he was going. His mind was a whirl of thoughts. There were insistent calls to action. Have to tell them! We have to do something! And there were feelings that he absolutely hated, the ones he worked so hard to never let to the surface. I told him about . . ! He sat there and listened to me talk about . . ! He-he saw me weak like that! And now he's gonna peddle it to . . !

He hadn't even known where he was going until he knocked on the door with all the force of the anger welling up in him.

KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!

"Wally!!"

After a few seconds, a muffled shout came from inside. "It's . . a . . bad . . time . . Dick."

KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!

"Wally!! Now!!"

This time, it was Jinx's voice, with more anger. "It's a bad time, Dick!"

KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!

"W-"

The door swung open a few inches and Robin saw his best friend, hair wildly askew and naked except for a sheet held at his navel and draping to the floor.

"Dick. This is a bad time."

To his near naked friend's amazement, Robin just pushed the door open further and walked in the room.

"Aaaaaa!"

Jinx hurriedly pulled a blanket over herself and stared in wide eyed shock as Robin marched over and sat down on the edge of the bed with his back to her. She glared at her husband standing bare assed in the doorway as if demanding that he do something about it. Wally shrugged helplessly and closed the door just as a tea cup, saucer and spoon were hard crashing to the black marble floor out in the hall. He paused a moment then made his way over to the bed as Robin started talking.

"I . . I knew it would happen. Deep down I knew it. I tried to negotiate all the security possible but no matter what there was still him. There was still him! Papers and files we had covered. But there was still him. There was always this worry. I knew it!" he snapped through clenched teeth.

Kid Flash sat down on the edge of the bed beside Robin, pulling the sheet into a ball that he placed over his crotch.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked as his wife slid toward that side of the bed and started rubbing his back.

"Silberman!" Robin half shouted.

"The -mmmm- guy who interviewed -mmmm- all of us six months -mmmm- ago?" asked Wally. Dick raised an eyebrow. But then looked over his pal's shoulder and saw his wife massaging his back lower and lower.

"E-val-uated," said Jinx with a faux pretentious gasp.

"Yeah, him. He's talking to one of the gossip mags about us!"

"What? He can't -mmmm- do that! He's-he's a doctor. He took an oath. -mmmm- He-he's not supposed to talk about -mmmm- what we tell him!"

"Well he's gonna, Wally."

"Are you sure, Dick? -mmmm- How do you know?"

"I tracked him."

"You . . tracked him?"

"I didn't trust him."

"You don't trust anyone," snapped Jinx from behind them.

"He was getting secrets from us," said Robin over his shoulder, momentarily disconcerted at how far Jinx's hand had instinctively worked it's way down Wally's back. "I-I told him things about me that only Starfire and Wally had ever heard."

"Oh my god. I told him about my family . . about my . . my father . . about . . Zoom," muttered Wally. Jinx moved closer and leaned her cheek against his back while wrapping an arm around him. "I-I don't want everyone knowing that my biological father was a villain. They-they won't understand."

"And he must have gotten information from Raven and Cyborg and Beast Boy and Speedy and Aqualad, too!"

"You . . told him about your parents?" asked Wally, quietly. Robin hesitated then nodded slightly and Wally saw a very unusual expression. Hurt. His invariably determined, resolute friend was hurt. Wally wrapped one arm around Robin's shoulders and pulled him to his side as Jinx shifted to rubbing Robin's back. Wally patted his friend's head. He didn't doubt that Robin had only ever told him and Starfire before this. This really hurt his pal. He'd never felt betrayal in regard to the pain that had set the course of his whole life.

Robin's thoughts swirled. He wasn't used to this emotional feeling of being knocked off balance. He wasn't used to his feelings interfering with his quickly issuing instructions, barking out commands to the other Titans. He was vaguely aware that Wally was half hugging him. He felt a pat on his head and the hand rubbing his back felt good too. Quite good. It felt so natural to give in to it. It was Wally. He went along with it. It was so easy to go along with it. It felt warm. It felt good.

He sighed.

"I told him about my -mmmm- mother and father being . . . killed right in front of me and he's going to sell that to the -mmmm- National Enquirer!" he whispered.

Maybe it was saying the publication's name out loud reminding him of the need for action. Maybe it was Jinx's hand finishing its instinctive journey down his back.

"Aaaaa!"

He jumped up from the edge of the bed rubbing the back of his green spandex pants.

"What're you doing?

"Sorry," said Jinx with a roll of her eyes distinctly implying that Robin had overreacted. "You've got a nice pair. Not like his, but-"

"Don't be a perv!"

"Says the guy who walked in on two naked people."

"I . . . what-whatever! We-we have to . . do . . something," said Robin, staring, a bit doncerted, suddenly fully realizing that his pal was naked except for some linen dropped over his crotch and realizing that along with her hand massaging him his naked best friend had been hugging him. Just a short jump to Roy and Garth territory from there!

"Come on, Wally! Cover up."

"Like she said, you're the one who barged into our room. Besides. I've got the sheet."

"Wally!"

Wally shook his head in disbelief. "Fine." A split second later he was sitting in the exact same spot with his Kid Flash suit on but the cowl left down loose around his neck.

"How bout me?" said a grinning Jinx laying in a pinup girl pose with a blanket barely covering what had to be covered.

"That's-that's fine."

He saw her exchange glances with Kid Flash but wasn't sure what they were saying to each other.

"Dick, how do you know that Silberman's selling us out?"

"I told you. I tracked him."

"Are you sure you're not misinterpreting his actions or things he's saying?"

"Wally. I know where he goes. I set up some special precise parabolic microphones. At first he wouldn't play ball. But I think he lost money in that big Ponzi scheme."

"Wait, let me guess. And, he got desperate and what could he do to make up the money except sell our secrets," said Jinx easily diagnosing what had happened.

"That's it," said Robin. "Listen to this," he added and pulled his Titans communicator out from under his green glove. "I got this from a special microphone attached to the street light on public property just outside his office. I think he made this call over a disposable cell phone. It didn't look like his usual one."

Robin leaned forward and pressed a couple buttons on his communicator.

_"TMZ bids seven hundred thousand,"_ said a voice Kid Flash and Jinx recognized as Silberman's. _"Do I hear eight?"_

_"Eight hundred thousand from The Globe,"_ came a less distinct voice.

_"I have eight hundred thousand. Do I hear nine?"_ said Silberman's voice.

_"Nine hundred thousand from E,"_ said another voice.

_"Nine Fifty from The National Enquirer,"_ said yet another voice.

_"Nine hundred fifty thousand is the bid,"_ said Silberman. _"Do I hear a million? . . . . One million? One million dollars, Anyone? . . . . . Nine hundred fifty thousand going once . . . going twice . . . sold to the Enquirer for Nine hundred fifty thousand."_

There were a flurry of signoffs as the other bidders dropped the line and then Silberman and the voice representing the Enquirer went on to set a time and place to meet. There still hadn't been any mention of the Titans until. The Enquirer's voice said, _"You've got to give us something at that meeting, doc, we can't just take your word you've got dirt on all those spandex clad junior justice leaguers!"_

Robin turned the recording off with a press of a button.

"I do not wear spandex!" sniffed Jinx.

"What-what else do you have?" asked Kid Flash.

"Okay, after that meeting I checked out the Enquirer's building in Jump City, the floor plans and where they typically met outsiders. I set up more special parabolic microphones directed at the likely room. It took me a few hours to combine the results from all the microphones in sync. One would get someone facing one way and speaking. Another would get somebody else. So, I devised an algorithm to separate out each distinct voice and to compare sound quality in one second bites so that street noise interfering from one direction or another could be-"

Robin suddenly noticed Jinx gesturing with one hand in a circular motion. Let's wrap it up, little bat!

"Right. I-I recorded the meeting. Here's the part after they put the check for $950,000 in front of him."

_"We'll let you get your notes and bring them tomorrow. But first a taste, Dr. Silberman? Just a few morsels. Any freaky sex going on there?"_

_"Any gay or lesbian shit, Dr. Silberman?"_

_"They got some super hormones going through their veins, Doc, don't tell me the Kid Flash boy and the Jinx girl are the only ones hooking up!"_

_"There must be some really juicy stories about their backgrounds, too, right?"_

There was a pause and then Silberman, sounding oddly weak said, _"All-all four. Not just among the seven in Titans West, but you've got a yes on all four points. Really freaky. Really alternative. And a lot of other hookups. And you won't believe where some of them come from, not just Starfire."_

"He sold us out!?" snapped Kid Flash.

"No, not yet, but he's going to tomorrow. Tomorrow he's going to give them everything he knows."

"We could always kill him," said Jinx.

Robin turned toward her with a frantic look.

"Just, um, just kidding," said Jinx with a casual roll of her cat like eyes. "Or I could . . persuade him to keep quiet," she said letting loose a pink laser of hex energy, like an acetylene torch, from the tip of one finger. "It's been known to work. Trust me."

"Honey! You promised!" grunted Kid Flash.

"Oh alright. I won't."

"Whatever we do, it has to be quick," said Robin in his insistent leader voice. "Tomorrow they'll know all kinds of things that we don't want spread around to villains and the general public."

"Could we get the Enquirer to not print anything?" asked Kid Flash.

"How? They've paid the guy almost a million dollars. They must want something for their money."

"We could threaten to have Silberman kicked out as a psychiatrist," suggested Jinx.

"Hmm. That's got some promise," said Robin now pacing the room as Kid Flash and Jinx watched from the bed. He started mumbling to himself the implications of various courses of action and scarcely noticed Jinx sidle up to Kid Flash and the two of them whispering back and forth for a minute.

"Dick! She's got it!"

"You've got a way out of this?" said the Boy Wonder to the pink haired sorceress.

"Uh huh. See, Speedster and I went to the movie house that shows old movies a couple days ago, the one next to Jump University. And guess what they were showing?"

"No clue."

"The Ipcress File!" said Jinx with a triumphant flourish of a gesture with one arm.

Robin shook his head, bewildered. "What . . what does that mean?"

Jinx sighed. "You may think that typing out case files is the only way to make a meaningful contribution to the team late at night. But sometimes experiencing some culture can be more worthwhile."

Robin sighed. They never missed a chance to rip on the case files thing. Never.

"It's a great film, maybe the best spy movie ever," Jinx informed him.

"The . . Ip-cress File?" Robin repeated.

"With Michael Caine," said Kid Flash. "He plays kind of a cool wiseass working for an uptight jerk who wants him to fill out all these files. "

Robin sighed. Never.

"I think his hair was kind of reddish, too."

Jinx nodded. "The parallels are . . . eeeeeeeerie!"

Robin grunted and gritted his teeth.

"Anyway," continued Jinx, "part of the plot is that these scientists get sort of brainwashed so that they function normally except they can't remember anything at all about their particular fields of physics and, well, I won't spoil it for you. You should watch it. You could put it in our Netflix cue."

"I know how to get a hold of movies!"

"Well, don't you see? We should do the same thing to Silberman," she added in a tone as if speaking to a child.

"Without the days of deprivation and near torture and playing all those funky sounds for hours and hours," added Kid Flash, to Jinx.

"Of course not. What a bother! Besides. I think there's a better way," said Jinx with a cheshire cat grin.

"You're sure?"

Jinx nodded then Kid Flash stood up facing Robin and spoke in a highbrow english accent.

"Listen to me . . . . . Listen to me, Grayson . . . . . . You will forget the case files . . . . . . You will forget all about the case files noise."

Robin could only sigh helplessly as Kid Flash and Jinx fell over laughing. Never.

***TT***TT***TT***

T-Car2 was crowded. Cyborg and Robin sat in the two front seats, Beast Boy and Raven in the middle row and Starfire, Kid Flash and Jinx in the back row. Though, it was, to all outward appearances, a faded blue minivan, sitting there at the ground level of the underground parking garage facing the elevators up to the 5th floor of the office building where the Enquirer rented space. The "minivan", with its tinted glass, had been there for a half hour. Cyborg had driven around the underground garage first to make sure that Silberman wasn't already there. Robin had memorized the license plates of the Silbermans' two mercedes. And even if he parked on the street, Silberman would enter the building here.

"Friend Zatanna was very nice to help us on such short notice," said Starfire with a nod for emphasis, gazing toward a figure hidden in the shadows a few steps from the elevators. There were several nods of agreement.

"I'm just glad I won't end up with a tail and fur being around her, this time," said Kid Flash to smiles from all the girls and worried looks of recollection from all the boys.

"It's early, speedster," said Jinx.

"Hey!"

"Pipe down, you two!" demanded Robin. "Here comes a mercedes."

A silver, top of the line sedan rolled slowly into the parking garage. It went right past the apparent minivan to a parking space 50 feet further down.

"He looked right in here," said Beast Boy. "You're sure this thing is cloaked?"

"Of course," said Cyborg. "When he looked in this vehicle, he saw a mom in the front seat trying to deal with a baby in the other front seat and a brat kid in the middle row of seats.

Raven looked at Beast Boy. "Sometimes the cloaking program barely has to do anything."

"Hey!"

"Come on!" demanded Robin in a frantic whisper. Silberman was walking past the van now, with a leather case in one hand and a cell phone in the other.

Before he got to the elevators, a stunning dark haired woman in high heels, fishnet stockings, a snug topcoat with tails and a top hat stepped out from the shadows.

"David Silberman?"

"Yes, who are-"

"Ouy lliw tegrof gnihtyreve eht neeT snatiT dias ot uoy ni ruoy snoisses htiw meht!" she commanded. "Revenehw uoy era deksa tuoba eht neeT snatiT uoy lliw start gnignis wohs senut!"

Silberman felt a wave of warmth pass quickly through him then snapped out of the trance state he'd been briefly in.

"Who are you?" he asked the woman who was suddenly right in front of him. She fixed him in a piercing gaze.

"Is there a copy of your evaluation notes in there?" she said pointing to his briefcase. He felt another wave of warmth.

" . . . yes . . " he answered limply.

"Give them to me."

He opened the briefcase and did so.

"Is there another copy anywhere else?"

" . . . one paper . . one electronic . . at my home . . . in my desk"

"Nehw uoy evael ereh, og thgiarts emoh dna nrub htob eht repap dna eht cinortcele seipoc."

" . . . yes . . . "

Zatanna stepped past Silberman and snapped her fingers. He felt a sudden cooling and looked around. He saw an odd woman walking away from him but only shrugged and reached for the button to bring the elevator.

Robin moved from the passenger side front seat to squeeze in between Beast Boy and Raven in the middle row bench seat. Zatanna got in and took the vacated front seat as she was showered with thanks by the Titans.

"I'm happy to help."

"Okay now, everybody," explained Robin as he pressed a button and the T-Car's radio started playing the sound from an office five floors up. " I set up special parabolic microphones directed at the room where they're meeting. Using the results from the last time I recorded them in that room, I wrote a special algorithm to process the sound on a two second delay. It took me a few hours to figure out how to automatically combine the results from all the microphones in sync. One might get someone facing one way and speaking. Another might get somebody else. So, I devised another algorithm to identify different speakers and instantly test sound volume and quality against a predetermined base standard for volume, clarity and sound-"

Robin suddenly noticed Zatanna gesturing with one hand in a circular motion. "Let's wrap it up, little bat!" she muttered to a carful of snickers.

"We'll be able to listen in," said an offended Robin and just as he finished, they could hear the door of the room opening and three, no, four people greeting Dr. Silberman. They heard them all sit down and then the lead speaker of the four.

_"No time to waste, Doc. Let's strike while the iron's hot. We'll bring my assistant in here and she'll take dictation of everything the Teen Titans said to you."_

_"Titans?"_

_"Yeah Doc."_

_"Ti-ti-tans?"_

_"Yeah. Marcy, get Ellen in here and let's get this party started."_

"You know, I do think he was going to behave a bit opportunistically," said Jinx from the back seat.

_"Yes Mr. Grinkel," said a new voice just entering the room._

_"Okay, Doc. Give us your best stuff on the Teen Titans."_

_"Ti-ti-ti-tans?"_

_"Yeah Doc. What is this?"_

There was a sound of someone getting up from their chair and then Silberman's voice was heard in full, deep operatic warble as if trying to be heard by the back row of a theater.

_"Sooooooome enchanted evening_

_You may see a stranger_

_You may see a stranger_

_Across a crowded room_

_"Doc?!"_

_And somehow you know_

_You know even then_

_That somewhere you'll see her_

_"Doc, are you nuts?"_

_Again and again._

_"Doc! This isn't funny!"_

_Some enchanted evening_

"Hmmph. South Pacific," noted Zatanna with one raised eyebrow as the others all chuckled and then she patted Robin's shoulder. "Take me to my building," she said to Cyborg. "And drive the way I would. Don't be a danger to yourself or others."

"Aw, Z! Don't worry," said Cyborg and he started the car and then started out of the garage.

"Let's hear it for Robin's obsessiveness!" shouted Beast Boy from beside him as he patted Robin's shoulder and everyone followed suit before he led the vehicle in a chant of "OCD! OCD! OCD! OCD! OCD!"

"That's not funny," said Robin as the chants were dying down into chuckles. "Some people have real problems with OCD. Not me, of course, but . . "

The vehicle filled with laughter.


End file.
